Bl***y Nightmare.......
- Thread starter gigi
- Start date
Thanks Helen..and all my TP mates who sent out love and positive thoughts to me last night.
I slept next to Eric...and did manage a few hours. Last night I got him ready for bed..he didn't object.
Apart from helping him up thismorning and watching him like a hawk...
..so far so good.
Neeless to say he's forgotten everyhing that happened yesterday. There's nothing wrong with him...the doctor never came,he hasn't got a chest infection and certainly doesn't need to be in hospital.
Not much anybody can do about that, really.
love gigi xx
I slept next to Eric...and did manage a few hours. Last night I got him ready for bed..he didn't object.
Apart from helping him up thismorning and watching him like a hawk...
..so far so good.Neeless to say he's forgotten everyhing that happened yesterday. There's nothing wrong with him...the doctor never came,he hasn't got a chest infection and certainly doesn't need to be in hospital.
Not much anybody can do about that, really.
love gigi xx
Sorry I didn't reply yesterday Gigi. I hope today goes far better than yesterday. Glad you managed to get a few hours sleep. It is so difficult when your loved one is adement that nothing unto wards happened yesterday, its like a battle of the wills.
Tkae care and heres hoping for a more peaceful day, if anybody needs it it's you xxxx
Tkae care and heres hoping for a more peaceful day, if anybody needs it it's you xxxx
Good morning Gigi
I don't often post here, but visit the forum very regulary. When my Dad (AZ sufferer) had to go into hospital following a fall (he was found to have an irregular heartbeat) my Mum accompanied him and was able to stay with him throughout (even at night). She fed him and talked to him, and her very presence calmed him somewhat, although he was still constantly asking when he was going home! My Dad was happiest with his regular routien, and my Mum in a funny way provided that, although she was totally exausted!!
I sincerely hope that Eric accepts the offer of a hospital bed, you need the reassurance and support that it provides.
I hope this makes sense, and I'm sorry that this post is so rushed (I'm at work), but I just needed to offer you my 'virtual' support and understanding.
Take care
Sweet Pea x x
I don't often post here, but visit the forum very regulary. When my Dad (AZ sufferer) had to go into hospital following a fall (he was found to have an irregular heartbeat) my Mum accompanied him and was able to stay with him throughout (even at night). She fed him and talked to him, and her very presence calmed him somewhat, although he was still constantly asking when he was going home! My Dad was happiest with his regular routien, and my Mum in a funny way provided that, although she was totally exausted!!
I sincerely hope that Eric accepts the offer of a hospital bed, you need the reassurance and support that it provides.
I hope this makes sense, and I'm sorry that this post is so rushed (I'm at work), but I just needed to offer you my 'virtual' support and understanding.
Take care
Sweet Pea x x
HI Gigi
I don't know how you do it! You are a stronge woman.
Something that I did with Mum when she didn't want to go into the NH if we went back after a trip (not that she recognised it as such) was say that we were just going in for a cup of tea and a look around.
Don't know if you could use that method to get him into the hospital and see how it goes from there. They might at least get some blood tests or an xray done even if he then refuses to stay, or he might see that it is not too scary after all as he is probably terrified of the change.
Thoughts are with you today
Love
Mameeskye
I don't know how you do it! You are a stronge woman.
Something that I did with Mum when she didn't want to go into the NH if we went back after a trip (not that she recognised it as such) was say that we were just going in for a cup of tea and a look around.
Don't know if you could use that method to get him into the hospital and see how it goes from there. They might at least get some blood tests or an xray done even if he then refuses to stay, or he might see that it is not too scary after all as he is probably terrified of the change.
Thoughts are with you today
Love
Mameeskye
Hi gigi
Glad you had a relatively peaceful night.
Fingers crossed for no more problems today.
Love,
Glad you had a relatively peaceful night.
Fingers crossed for no more problems today.
Love,
This is a BIG learning curve........
I've read on TP about how infection can affect dementia...I'm living through this now.
Eric does not display the "usual" signs of infection...although the GP is very worried about his chest..which is full of fluid and crackles..and he becomes breathless on exertion. He does not have a high temperature. But his feet are becoming puffy and swollen.
The CPN came out thisafternoon and explained that EVEN THE SMALLEST INFECTION in dementia patients can manifest itself in different ways.This can show itself as a dramatic change. And Eric has a big...chronic infection...
But he "says" he feels ok. I'm trying to understand....he does not realise that the infection is attacking his weakest points...in this case his mobility. He's had moments of confusion...and doesn't understand that he's ill...
In some people this could cause aggression, mega confusion,wandering....Eric is none of these. He wants to sit quietly in his own home and carry on with his "normal" routine...and his "nurse wife"..as I am now termed...(wish I'd been a hairdresser...)
I can't deny him this. He has refused the hospital bed.
OT came in to assess thismorning...(Via the Rapid Response Team who have been brilliant)
And came back later thisafternoon with a perch stool for the kitchen...to enable him to still make tea...he can't stand for long..a raised loo seat.
They've ordered a seat for the shower..and are also ordering us a device to go under the mattress which will raise the head of the bed into an upright position...so that Eric is sitting upright before he gets out of bed.
I also have an emergency number to ring...
And have been advised to dial 999 if he falls again....
I'm going to have a Lifeline Alarm installed..I press a button and they organise the help.
Yesterday morning's 999 call was farcical...how can you be expected to cope with someone who has fallen in the shower...cold, wet, naked, confused and distressed....only to be told that a nurse will ring you back in 5 minutes...which she did...and asked me the same questions I'd already answered..and told me to reassure Eric and not to try to get him up off the floor on my own. I tried that...but in the end had to help him because I couldn't watch him struggling. It took all my strength..and my back and shoulders are feeling the effects today.
Apparently if you have a lifeline alarm you have a bit of priority.
So first job tomorrow.....
There are loads of lovely people who have responded to this thread who I hardly know...and many sensible suggestions from you all.
Can I ask you to bear with me? Am hoping things settle down for a day or two and I will be able to give more time.
A big thanks to all for being here.....last night I was thinking of changing my signature...
Today I live to fight another day.....
Love gigi xx
I've read on TP about how infection can affect dementia...I'm living through this now.
Eric does not display the "usual" signs of infection...although the GP is very worried about his chest..which is full of fluid and crackles..and he becomes breathless on exertion. He does not have a high temperature. But his feet are becoming puffy and swollen.
The CPN came out thisafternoon and explained that EVEN THE SMALLEST INFECTION in dementia patients can manifest itself in different ways.This can show itself as a dramatic change. And Eric has a big...chronic infection...
But he "says" he feels ok. I'm trying to understand....he does not realise that the infection is attacking his weakest points...in this case his mobility. He's had moments of confusion...and doesn't understand that he's ill...
In some people this could cause aggression, mega confusion,wandering....Eric is none of these. He wants to sit quietly in his own home and carry on with his "normal" routine...and his "nurse wife"..as I am now termed...(wish I'd been a hairdresser...
)I can't deny him this. He has refused the hospital bed.
OT came in to assess thismorning...(Via the Rapid Response Team who have been brilliant)
And came back later thisafternoon with a perch stool for the kitchen...to enable him to still make tea...he can't stand for long..a raised loo seat.
They've ordered a seat for the shower..and are also ordering us a device to go under the mattress which will raise the head of the bed into an upright position...so that Eric is sitting upright before he gets out of bed.
I also have an emergency number to ring...
And have been advised to dial 999 if he falls again....
I'm going to have a Lifeline Alarm installed..I press a button and they organise the help.
Yesterday morning's 999 call was farcical...how can you be expected to cope with someone who has fallen in the shower...cold, wet, naked, confused and distressed....only to be told that a nurse will ring you back in 5 minutes...which she did...and asked me the same questions I'd already answered..and told me to reassure Eric and not to try to get him up off the floor on my own. I tried that...but in the end had to help him because I couldn't watch him struggling. It took all my strength..and my back and shoulders are feeling the effects today.
Apparently if you have a lifeline alarm you have a bit of priority.
So first job tomorrow.....
There are loads of lovely people who have responded to this thread who I hardly know...and many sensible suggestions from you all.
Can I ask you to bear with me? Am hoping things settle down for a day or two and I will be able to give more time.
A big thanks to all for being here.....last night I was thinking of changing my signature...
Today I live to fight another day.....
Love gigi xx
Gigi while I'm relieved you're getting some practical help I can only wonder if it's going to be enough. Is there no possibility of them providing you with a moveable hoist? I know they're pretty large and you may not have room but if he falls again it's the only thing that will help you, barring calling 999.
At what point does the Mental Capacity act allow carers to act in someone's best interest without sectioning but against their wishes?
I can't even imagine how hurtful the "nurse-wife" comment must be - talk about being just a carer. Obviously Eric can't be blamed but still...
Love
At what point does the Mental Capacity act allow carers to act in someone's best interest without sectioning but against their wishes?
I can't even imagine how hurtful the "nurse-wife" comment must be - talk about being just a carer. Obviously Eric can't be blamed but still...
Love
Gigi, it sounds terrifying, and I know it is.
I actually was afraid that people would think I was exaggerating the effect of infection on John -- but I really didn't want it to be confirmed in this way.
My heart goes out to you -- as well as my admiration. You are coping so well with a situation which is devastating.
I hope your rainbow appears soon.
Love and hugs,
I actually was afraid that people would think I was exaggerating the effect of infection on John -- but I really didn't want it to be confirmed in this way.
My heart goes out to you -- as well as my admiration. You are coping so well with a situation which is devastating.
I hope your rainbow appears soon.
Love and hugs,
Dear Gigi: I can only repeat your title 'its a bl...y' nightmare. This infection thing is getting me down. D was supposed to have a UTI now he hasn't!!!! But he has had tremors/shaking and high bl. pressure today.
We tried the thing that raises up to sitting, like a deckchair! Sorry ours is in the garage waiting to go back. The effort of putting it underneath the mattress at the time was just too great. I now have an electroncially operated thing which means I can raise the bed, the head etc etc. Try your OT for one of those.
If you have tips about the loo raiser - please I would like them. David just will not use one (YET). I have to pull him up from sitting low on the normal toilet.
Perhaps we should share a house with a hospital corner!!
Sorry to be flippant - a way of hedging the seriousness of it all.
Thinking about you Love Jan
We tried the thing that raises up to sitting, like a deckchair! Sorry ours is in the garage waiting to go back. The effort of putting it underneath the mattress at the time was just too great. I now have an electroncially operated thing which means I can raise the bed, the head etc etc. Try your OT for one of those.
If you have tips about the loo raiser - please I would like them. David just will not use one (YET). I have to pull him up from sitting low on the normal toilet.
Perhaps we should share a house with a hospital corner!!
Sorry to be flippant - a way of hedging the seriousness of it all.
Thinking about you Love Jan
.....
As I understand it Jan..they come and fit it for us.....otherwise it will end up in the garage like yours...
The mattress is too heavy for me...and my back, shoulders and neck are suffering after yesterday.
As for the loo seat....
Eric has just been to use the loo...And the "fixed" loo seat is now in the bath...he's taken it off...doesn't like it.
The problem with any of these "gadgets" is that if we are without dementia we might accept them...
But for anyone with dementia anything new is not understandable or familiar....and might even pose new problems.
Love gigi xx
Hi Gigi
Your update seemed very positive in that you were getting some new information about the effects of infection in a person with dementia. Also in getting some changes to the situation in order to be able to get rapid help if necessary and aids to prevent problems.
However, on further reading it seems that what appeared to be very helpful might prove otherwise because Eric can't manage the changes. Alan is the same. What seems like any change Alan can't deal with. I bought an alternative to a kettle (it is simpler than a kettle - 1 button to press and instant hot water) but Alan can't deal with it. A change of bath taps (to simpler ones) and Alan can't manage them!!
However, you've got people on your side attempting to help and assist you deal with this situation and that is a good start.
Lots of love and a big hug
Your update seemed very positive in that you were getting some new information about the effects of infection in a person with dementia. Also in getting some changes to the situation in order to be able to get rapid help if necessary and aids to prevent problems.
However, on further reading it seems that what appeared to be very helpful might prove otherwise because Eric can't manage the changes. Alan is the same. What seems like any change Alan can't deal with. I bought an alternative to a kettle (it is simpler than a kettle - 1 button to press and instant hot water) but Alan can't deal with it. A change of bath taps (to simpler ones) and Alan can't manage them!!
However, you've got people on your side attempting to help and assist you deal with this situation and that is a good start.
Lots of love and a big hug
Sorry to read what happen to Eric.
I’ve experience that happening to my mother having falls not being able to lift herself up mum did not have any infection. It happens twice in the middle stages when she could not lift herself up from the bath, then in a later stage it happen in the toilet another time when she was returning from the toilet.
what that about how do you get that ?
We have a really modern looking toilet riser, I never told mum about I just got OT around told him how mum can’t lift herself from toilet so they added a hand rail next to toilet , then put toilet riser that just look like it’s part of the toilet .
Don’t tell husband then when he notices it , tell him you need it for you because you have a bad back find it hard to get yourself up from the toilet .
I’ve experience that happening to my mother having falls not being able to lift herself up mum did not have any infection. It happens twice in the middle stages when she could not lift herself up from the bath, then in a later stage it happen in the toilet another time when she was returning from the toilet.
what that about how do you get that ?
We have a really modern looking toilet riser, I never told mum about I just got OT around told him how mum can’t lift herself from toilet so they added a hand rail next to toilet , then put toilet riser that just look like it’s part of the toilet .
Don’t tell husband then when he notices it , tell him you need it for you because you have a bad back find it hard to get yourself up from the toilet .
Dear Gigi,
I had a life line system fitted and it was brilliant.
If Peter fell, with my disabilities I would not have been able to help him.
With the alarm system and mine goes straight through to the call centre and the local police station, response time is approximate 5 minutes from the time alarm goes off.
Do hope you have some rest.
Love from
Christine
I had a life line system fitted and it was brilliant.
If Peter fell, with my disabilities I would not have been able to help him.
With the alarm system and mine goes straight through to the call centre and the local police station, response time is approximate 5 minutes from the time alarm goes off.
Do hope you have some rest.
Love from
Christine
The bloody loo seat
I and Ron have a very nice bathroom.
We had it changed about four year ago.
We had the bath removed, Ron could not get into the bath.
We had a shower fitted.
All change again He cannot get into that now, need level access shower.
We could go on and on.
Toilet, do not get me started.
Our adapted toilet seat is a thing I hide in the garden shed if we have visitors
Ugly black seat, horrible legs that stick out, Ron has banged into them many a time.
I hate it.
We are second class, it will do After all they are old, and it will do.
NO IT WILL NOT.
Barb XX & Ron ZZZ
I and Ron have a very nice bathroom.
We had it changed about four year ago.
We had the bath removed, Ron could not get into the bath.
We had a shower fitted.
All change again
He cannot get into that now, need level access shower.We could go on and on.
Toilet, do not get me started.
Our adapted toilet seat is a thing I hide in the garden shed if we have visitors
Ugly black seat, horrible legs that stick out, Ron has banged into them many a time.
I hate it.
We are second class, it will do
After all they are old, and it will do.NO IT WILL NOT.
Barb XX & Ron ZZZ
Aids they think will help
O.T. had a comode delivered for Peter.
Peter's response was I am not using that b****y thing.
So it is now in the shed.
Christine
O.T. had a comode delivered for Peter.
Peter's response was I am not using that b****y thing.
So it is now in the shed.
Christine
Hi Gigi,
Glad you have your fighting spirit back. Keep fighting. Hope tomorrow is better again for both you and Eric.
Glad you have your fighting spirit back. Keep fighting.
Hope tomorrow is better again for both you and Eric.
