I am becoming increasingly worried about my aunt. My mother talks to her most days by telephone, and is reporting that her sister is becoming very confused and disorientated. She seems to have no idea what time of day it is, even when she looks at the clock (no idea if its 5 am or 5pm). She won't turn TV on because she thinks that people on it are talking directly to her; she won't open curtains because she's paranoid neighbours can see in, and talks in whisper all the time.
Over the last few days she's been saying things like 'I didn't know I had two daughters.' Also, she reported being kidnapped by someone who took her to a cashpoint to withdraw £2k in money. We have no idea whether she took the money out or not, or what she did with it. She's now saying that 'they' are trying to get the money. She also thinks the house is infested with mice, but that they are all living in her mattress !
The problem in all of this is that her 2 daughters take little interest in her. Neither of them took her to their homes for xmas/new year (apparently they were too busy 'working' on each day, despite neither being in a profession that works on bank holidays). She only saw one of them because she made an emergency call on Boxing day because her leg oedema was so bad she couldn't walk (we think this may be due to kidney disease, but of course she can't remember anything the doctor tells her, and neither daughter accompanies her to any appointments). We tried to make contact with the daughter that went with her, but had only a brief, curt conversation with the partner (who hadn't bothered to ring my cousin to find out what was happening at A & E), and she didn't bother to ring back later to fill us in either as you might have expected. I know my aunt had a memory clinic appointment which she did not turn up for, as she is in denial that she has any problems of course.
We live too far away to help much with any direct care needs. My own mother is a frail 90 yr old, and I'm worried about all the stress these very long, highly-confused daily phone calls are having on her health. I know one of us needs to talk to one of the daughters quickly (before she wanders out and gets totally disorientated in the middle of London or has an accident etc), but I feel we should make contact with her local social services first and find out what support services/care homes exist/have vacancies etc in the area first so that we can have an informed conversation. Power of attorney may be difficult to organise as the daughters haven't spoken to each other for years, and one of them was recently on the point of being sectioned herself for a mental health issue (and part of the falling out concerned how the house value was to be split between, with neither seeming to realise their mother might need any assets for her own future care).
My mother is also very concerned about 'interfering', that my aunt is very private and would be furious about strangers 'knowing her business', and doesn't even seem to fully realise quite how abnormal these behaviours are (equally, how potentially distressing it must be to live like this). However, my husband and I think it's gone beyond the stage it can be ignored. It's a very difficult situation for us, as we are familiar with dealing with dementia-type conditions with my husband's side of the family (and how difficult it can be even with lots of willing carers and support).
The area concerned is North London, if anyone has any direct experience of dealing with social services in this area.
Over the last few days she's been saying things like 'I didn't know I had two daughters.' Also, she reported being kidnapped by someone who took her to a cashpoint to withdraw £2k in money. We have no idea whether she took the money out or not, or what she did with it. She's now saying that 'they' are trying to get the money. She also thinks the house is infested with mice, but that they are all living in her mattress !
The problem in all of this is that her 2 daughters take little interest in her. Neither of them took her to their homes for xmas/new year (apparently they were too busy 'working' on each day, despite neither being in a profession that works on bank holidays). She only saw one of them because she made an emergency call on Boxing day because her leg oedema was so bad she couldn't walk (we think this may be due to kidney disease, but of course she can't remember anything the doctor tells her, and neither daughter accompanies her to any appointments). We tried to make contact with the daughter that went with her, but had only a brief, curt conversation with the partner (who hadn't bothered to ring my cousin to find out what was happening at A & E), and she didn't bother to ring back later to fill us in either as you might have expected. I know my aunt had a memory clinic appointment which she did not turn up for, as she is in denial that she has any problems of course.
We live too far away to help much with any direct care needs. My own mother is a frail 90 yr old, and I'm worried about all the stress these very long, highly-confused daily phone calls are having on her health. I know one of us needs to talk to one of the daughters quickly (before she wanders out and gets totally disorientated in the middle of London or has an accident etc), but I feel we should make contact with her local social services first and find out what support services/care homes exist/have vacancies etc in the area first so that we can have an informed conversation. Power of attorney may be difficult to organise as the daughters haven't spoken to each other for years, and one of them was recently on the point of being sectioned herself for a mental health issue (and part of the falling out concerned how the house value was to be split between, with neither seeming to realise their mother might need any assets for her own future care).
My mother is also very concerned about 'interfering', that my aunt is very private and would be furious about strangers 'knowing her business', and doesn't even seem to fully realise quite how abnormal these behaviours are (equally, how potentially distressing it must be to live like this). However, my husband and I think it's gone beyond the stage it can be ignored. It's a very difficult situation for us, as we are familiar with dealing with dementia-type conditions with my husband's side of the family (and how difficult it can be even with lots of willing carers and support).
The area concerned is North London, if anyone has any direct experience of dealing with social services in this area.
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