Help to keep someone in family home ...

[ChocolateBrownie]

There seems to be lots of information and support for people who are considering putting a loved one into a care home, but very little information about how to keep someone living in a family home for as long as possible.

I feel I am swimming against the tide, and up against huge pressure from all sides to put Dad into a care home when it is not yet necessary.

I seem to be very lucky in that Dad remains gentle, calm and compliant - although he needs lots of reassurance, and familiar routine. It can be tiring, but no more so than coping with teenagers through those horrendous hormonal and exam years - and possible with live in help.

Dad is losing mobility and one specific problem that I have encountered is some care agencies refusing to allow a carer to transfer Dad using a hoist with a family member as the second carer - even after I volunteered to do their own training course! It seems able-bodied people will have to sit and watch (and pay) 2 external carers to do transfers!

I couldn't find a thread on this, so would be interested to know if anyone else is having similar issues.

 

[Grannie G]

I have no experience of caring at home once mobility has been lost @ChocolateBrownie but know there are many on the forum who have cared at home right through the end stages.

I hope someone will soon post to share their experiences.

 

[Prudencecat]

Just a thought have you had a continuing health care assessment. We recently had one for mum who is at home we didn't get it but are getting an element 20% of healthcare costs she is self funding. The care agency said that some of their clients that need two carers for transfers get it.

 

[clarice2]

There seems to be lots of information and support for people who are considering putting a loved one into a care home, but very little information about how to keep someone living in a family home for as long as possible.

I feel I am swimming against the tide, and up against huge pressure from all sides to put Dad into a care home when it is not yet necessary.

I seem to be very lucky in that Dad remains gentle, calm and compliant - although he needs lots of reassurance, and familiar routine. It can be tiring, but no more so than coping with teenagers through those horrendous hormonal and exam years - and possible with live in help.

Dad is losing mobility and one specific problem that I have encountered is some care agencies refusing to allow a carer to transfer Dad using a hoist with a family member as the second carer - even after I volunteered to do their own training course! It seems able-bodied people will have to sit and watch (and pay) 2 external carers to do transfers!

I couldn't find a thread on this, so would be interested to know if anyone else is having similar issues.

My husband has been bedridden for almost 2 years. I was told that he needs 2 carers at all times. He cannot be hoisted so is rolled, changed and washed in bed. When he first came home from hospital a care plan was worked out by a social worker which included 4 visits. 2x45mins and 2x 30mins. It was awful. The visits often could not be done at the correct times so they were coming when I was feeding him or they had just left and he needed changing so I did it. I was stressed out with it. We were self funding so it was aprox £500 a week at that time. To make their wages the carers only left when their time was up and they then logged out. The caring, pad change,repositioning took maybe 15-20 mins. I realised that I was paying in the region of £200 a week for them to sit and chat or play on their phones until their time was up. I snapped. I sorted times out and now just have 2 visits a day, a 30mins bodywash and change in a morning and a 15min pad change at night. I do everything else myself. I asked could I have 1 carer and I would be the second but they won't do that. So I do it alone. I was told that if the carer or myself were injured while moving him we would not be insured. I do understand this.
We now have CHC so cost is not the problem. My routine still is only 2 visits a day but I will increase these when I need to. I also have sitting service. I am happy with caring for him at home and hope to continue.
Clarice2

 

[nitram]

even after I volunteered to do their own training course! It seems able-bodied people will have to sit and watch (and pay) 2 external carers to do transfers!

Sadly I can understand their stance, if anything went wrong they could have a problem with their third party insurance.

 

[chippiebites]

When the social worker was arranging my Mum's care package he tried to get me to be the second carer, Mum needed 2 carers for hoisting. I wouldn't because I also had my Husband to care for. My Mum died 8 weeks ago, so I now just care for my Husband, we have a carer for an hour in the morning and half an hour in the afternoon, I help with hoisting when needed, but manage on my own quite a lot, we manage OK, my Husband is easy to look after most of the time, asleep a lot. I hope to be able to keep him at home, although it's very sad that my Husband has no mobility, it makes caring for him easier than it could be.

 

[ChocolateBrownie]

Just a thought have you had a continuing health care assessment. We recently had one for mum who is at home we didn't get it but are getting an element 20% of healthcare costs she is self funding. The care agency said that some of their clients that need two carers for transfers get it.

I haven't done this yet, but my understanding is that will be another uphill battle too! I just want to get Dad home and happy with care in place - then I'll tackle that.

 

[ChocolateBrownie]

My husband has been bedridden for almost 2 years. I was told that he needs 2 carers at all times. He cannot be hoisted so is rolled, changed and washed in bed. When he first came home from hospital a care plan was worked out by a social worker which included 4 visits. 2x45mins and 2x 30mins. It was awful. The visits often could not be done at the correct times so they were coming when I was feeding him or they had just left and he needed changing so I did it. I was stressed out with it. We were self funding so it was aprox £500 a week at that time. To make their wages the carers only left when their time was up and they then logged out. The caring, pad change,repositioning took maybe 15-20 mins. I realised that I was paying in the region of £200 a week for them to sit and chat or play on their phones until their time was up. I snapped. I sorted times out and now just have 2 visits a day, a 30mins bodywash and change in a morning and a 15min pad change at night. I do everything else myself. I asked could I have 1 carer and I would be the second but they won't do that. So I do it alone. I was told that if the carer or myself were injured while moving him we would not be insured. I do understand this.
We now have CHC so cost is not the problem. My routine still is only 2 visits a day but I will increase these when I need to. I also have sitting service. I am happy with caring for him at home and hope to continue.
Clarice2

Yes, we had a similar experience last time that Dad came out of hospital. Carers came for a few weeks, but mostly sat around chatting as there were no care needs at the time of their visit. Maybe Alzheimer's Society could research how much time is wasted in this way....

 

[witts1973]

There seems to be lots of information and support for people who are considering putting a loved one into a care home, but very little information about how to keep someone living in a family home for as long as possible.

I feel I am swimming against the tide, and up against huge pressure from all sides to put Dad into a care home when it is not yet necessary.

I seem to be very lucky in that Dad remains gentle, calm and compliant - although he needs lots of reassurance, and familiar routine. It can be tiring, but no more so than coping with teenagers through those horrendous hormonal and exam years - and possible with live in help.

Dad is losing mobility and one specific problem that I have encountered is some care agencies refusing to allow a carer to transfer Dad using a hoist with a family member as the second carer - even after I volunteered to do their own training course! It seems able-bodied people will have to sit and watch (and pay) 2 external carers to do transfers!

I couldn't find a thread on this, so would be interested to know if anyone else is having similar issues.

I know what you're saying it's frustrating,my mum can't weight bare now so has a hospital bed in the lounge,she has 4 visits were 2 people have to come and she gets lifted in the hoist most days to a recliner,mum has to be rolled on to her side when her pads are changed so one carer holds her on her side and with regards to the hoist one person pulls her in to the chair,I have helped with all these matters when only one carer has turned up so have often thought why can't I be the number 2 carer?
One thing I can tell you from speaking to the carers is that there are all sorts of people with different ailments staying at home a lot of them worse than my mum,even alone and some of those in hospital beds as that is what local authorities are trying to do so I hope that gives you some comfort to hear that,you will be able to get a hospital bed for your dad when he loses further mobility,it sounds awful but you can take a positive from the loss of mobility as even a nurse said herself it will be a lot easier for my mother to be managed as she won't be falling and breaking anything or wondering off.
Carers can also cook quick meals or meals on wheels can deliver food,I'm at home as a full time carer to keep feed and keep mum company,she has a bed wash in the morning for her first call of the day.
Best of wishes to you,any questions,just ask.

 

[myss]

There seems to be lots of information and support for people who are considering putting a loved one into a care home, but very little information about how to keep someone living in a family home for as long as possible.

I feel I am swimming against the tide, and up against huge pressure from all sides to put Dad into a care home when it is not yet necessary.

I seem to be very lucky in that Dad remains gentle, calm and compliant - although he needs lots of reassurance, and familiar routine. It can be tiring, but no more so than coping with teenagers through those horrendous hormonal and exam years - and possible with live in help.

Dad is losing mobility and one specific problem that I have encountered is some care agencies refusing to allow a carer to transfer Dad using a hoist with a family member as the second carer - even after I volunteered to do their own training course! It seems able-bodied people will have to sit and watch (and pay) 2 external carers to do transfers!

I couldn't find a thread on this, so would be interested to know if anyone else is having similar issues.

I care for my dad in his own home but he is still mobile, so we haven't got to the stage when he needs help for that. My mum's in a nursing home and a hoist is used to get her in/out of bed and bathing. If it is only for these two reasons why a hoist and therefore two carers need to be employed, it is possible for you to do the hoisting yourself (or with a family member/friend)?

I suspect when it comes to a time where my dad requires such assistance, we'll do the hard work ourselves so that the carer can just get on with the feeding, companionship, etc, but it's easy for me to say this as there's a few family members providing most of his care.

 

[Vix321]

Hi. Would it be possible for your Dad to have a ceiling track hoist instead of a mobile hoist as depending on his needs/the agency's policies, ceiling track hoists can often be operated by one carer.

If turning in bed is an issue, the Etac in-situ sheets in conjunction with a positioning wedge are great. My mum's bed mobility is very limited and her carer is able to use these pieces of equipment on her own to manage her personal care on the bed.

It may be worth asking for an OT review. Because there's such a push for Social Services etc to reduce care packages, there's always new moving & handling equipment that can be used single-handedly coming out.
With my mum, I explained to the OT that we wanted to keep mum at home for as long as possible, but financially it was only viable if her care could be managed single-handedly. I've been pleasantly surprised at some of the options they suggested.

All the best.

 

[witts1973]

Hi. Would it be possible for your Dad to have a ceiling track hoist instead of a mobile hoist as depending on his needs/the agency's policies, ceiling track hoists can often be operated by one carer.

If turning in bed is an issue, the Etac in-situ sheets in conjunction with a positioning wedge are great. My mum's bed mobility is very limited and her carer is able to use these pieces of equipment on her own to manage her personal care on the bed.

It may be worth asking for an OT review. Because there's such a push for Social Services etc to reduce care packages, there's always new moving & handling equipment that can be used single-handedly coming out.
With my mum, I explained to the OT that we wanted to keep mum at home for as long as possible, but financially it was only viable if her care could be managed single-handedly. I've been pleasantly surprised at some of the options they suggested.

All the best.

When savings get to a cetain amount the LA will pay for most of the care if you're worried about financing to keep mum at home,they prefer people to be kept at home