Hi everyone. How do you persuade a partner to eat? My wife has picked over food for about the last five years BUT over the past five days it has been virtually impossible to get anything through her lips. She just does not want to eat. I feel desperate. Even her favourite things which until last week she would eat have now found their way into the bin. She has become increasingly weak and finding it difficult to get up from a sitting position. Hopefully the physio, who was referred by the doctor to weeks ago, will prove useful. But I just pray that tomorrow will be easier. I suspect that two weeks ago she suffered another mini stroke but the doctor does not think so. I just feel in a desperate situation which cannot go on. Help. Jumbo
desperate
- Thread starter jumbo
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Hi ring your Gp tomorrow and ask for help,
Have you ever spoken to the SALT team they will be able to offer advice with food/eating matters speak to your GP tomorrow morning and ask for an urgent visit
Contact your GP.
He/she can check her for infection or things like oral thrush which may be preventing her from eating.
He/she can refer your wife to the SALT team - they are the experts on swallowing
He/she can prescribe drinks like fortisip
And, finally, he/she can arrange for help if your wifes body is shutting down.
He/she can check her for infection or things like oral thrush which may be preventing her from eating.
He/she can refer your wife to the SALT team - they are the experts on swallowing
He/she can prescribe drinks like fortisip
And, finally, he/she can arrange for help if your wifes body is shutting down.
Thank you so very much for your help. I shall be contacting the GP Surgery after the visit from the physio this morning. Unfortunately we have no continuity with GP's. They come and go like rain. In the last 10+ years whilst Margaret has been struggling she has seen just two GP's and last week was our first home visit call in 35 years. The lack of eating has got much worse in the last week. I will look into the fortisip. Many thanks for your help. Jumbo
We had a lady look at Margaret's swallowing last week but the lack of eating has come on since then. After the physio has called today I shall be contacting the GP surgery again. We had a home visit a fortnight ago because I was convinced that Margaret had had another mini stroke. He did not think so but I am not convinced. We have no continuity with Gp's and Margaret has only seen the local GP twice in over 10 years. Since the Vascular Dementia diagnosis it has been a case of get on with it because nothing can be done! Thank you for your thoughts. jumbo
I feel for you,I know what you mean about continuity of Gp's,at mums practice they only ever want to send a nurse,known as an advanced nurse practitioner who in my view didn't ever feel very confident and the community nurse had the same view about them.I find calling the community nurse team can be good for a little support and they can see how things are going at home and if they have concerns they can escalate things to get help or to get a doctors visit for you,it's an elongated way of doing things I know,but it's always handy having them out of hours and weekends and they are the people that see problems on a day to day basis with older people receiving care at home.
You could try high calorie, home made soups and smoothies. I make soup for my mum with lots of vegetables, chicken and lentils (rich in iron and protein). I then blend them with huge spoonfuls of mayonnaise which adds to the calories. Sometimes I break up bits of spaghetti for carbohydrates or granary bread for roughage. It all gets blended. When my mum won't eat properly I put soup in a mug instead of a bowl.
Fresuben or other high cal drinks really help, a GP should prescribe them but you can buy them without a prescription.
Otherwise, make sure she drinks lots of fluid and try offering food little and often. Calories are more important than actual nutrition. Also, if she refuses, don't respond, just pretend to not notice and try again after a few minutes. Sometimes it takes a bit of cunning and patience.
Don't wait for the physio, ask the GP practice to visit at home and check for infection you can ask for the high calorie drinks at the same time.
Vascular dementia does go in plateaus and sudden drops but it may be that she's sickening for something. Or, as you suspected a TIA. If you can keep calories up one way or another and keep moving physically (even if only small stuff), it helps to maintain some quality of life and mobility.
Not eating can become a bit of a viscous cycle - of stomach shrinking, weakness and less mobility. I've seen it a few times with my mum now but we've managed to recuperate with a bit of focus on calories and movement.
Best of luck with it all - it's worrying isn't it.
