Hi my dad has VD, he was diagnosed around 3.5 years. He's on a small dose of Risperidone which keeps him 'calm'. He has good days and bad days. He's become less and less active in the past few months, with no interest in doing anything or seeing anybody. Which is such a shame since he ran his own business and was very very active. He knows who we all are, although his conversations are on a loop, and the constant need to ask questions is exhausting for my poor mum. For the last couple of months he isn't really sleeping during the night, which consequently means neither is my mum. She's not in the greatest of health herself, and in the past few weeks she just looks so beaten down with his constant demands and lack of sleep. We try to coax dad out for a drive, or visit to a garden centre just to give her a break where she can nap without him waking her up to check she's ok! But he will not got anywhere without her, and if we force it, he digs his heels in and his mood changes. Unfortunately, like so many people with this horrible horrible illness, he has no idea there is anything wrong - and he can't remember the unsettled night times so thinks mum is just wanting attention when she says she's tired. I have booked him in with his consultant for a review of his meds to see if there's anything that might help. Does anyone know whether this is a phase that may pass? Even though my dad is the one with the illness, I am also so concerned for my poor mum's health too. They're both 75. Thanks for listening x
Unsettled night times
- Thread starter Mumof3kids
- Start date
Welcome to the forum, mumof3kids. I'm not really sure how to answer your question, but denial is a fairly common feature of dementia and my OH certainly goes through many phases with her condition. You are doing all you can to support your mum, so I can only hope your dad settles again and they can both get some sleep.
This may help https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/symptoms-and-diagnosis/sleep-and-night-time-disturbance
This may help https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/symptoms-and-diagnosis/sleep-and-night-time-disturbance
Hello @Mumof3kids
I'm one who cannot function without a full 8hrs sleep so your mum has my sympathy - not that that's much help.
From what I understand, once sleep disturbance starts its very difficult to stop. Does your dad have any input from a CPN (community psychiatric nurse) as they may have some suggestions which may help. My Dad's CPN suggested getting him to a daycentre so he would be kept busy during the day and save his sleeping for night time. Sadly dad never did this as he is currently in hospital after a stroke (he also has vascular dementia).
I know your dad is very reluctant to go out without your mum but I'm sure a good dementia aware daycentre will have ways and means and suggestions to help. It's well worth pursuing for your mums sake.
Perhaps mum could go with him and then sneak off and leave him there - saying she needs the loo or something. One of the carers should be able to distract your dad. Maybe you could take them both and wait for your mum to settle him then she can have a few hours to herself - or some quality time with you.
Some care homes also do daycare so this might be worth considering- it would make the place familiar should your dad ever need to go into respite or full time care. If he went on a day when the barber or chiropodist visits you could solve several problems at once...
Another thing I've heard people suggest that works is a bowl of milky porridge at bedtime or a couple of paracetamol.
As you know, your dad has no idea anything is wrong and never will have so it will take some creative manoeuvres to get him to allow your mum to have the rest she so badly needs.
Good luck!
I'm one who cannot function without a full 8hrs sleep so your mum has my sympathy - not that that's much help.
From what I understand, once sleep disturbance starts its very difficult to stop. Does your dad have any input from a CPN (community psychiatric nurse) as they may have some suggestions which may help. My Dad's CPN suggested getting him to a daycentre so he would be kept busy during the day and save his sleeping for night time. Sadly dad never did this as he is currently in hospital after a stroke (he also has vascular dementia).
I know your dad is very reluctant to go out without your mum but I'm sure a good dementia aware daycentre will have ways and means and suggestions to help. It's well worth pursuing for your mums sake.
Perhaps mum could go with him and then sneak off and leave him there - saying she needs the loo or something. One of the carers should be able to distract your dad. Maybe you could take them both and wait for your mum to settle him then she can have a few hours to herself - or some quality time with you.
Some care homes also do daycare so this might be worth considering- it would make the place familiar should your dad ever need to go into respite or full time care. If he went on a day when the barber or chiropodist visits you could solve several problems at once...
Another thing I've heard people suggest that works is a bowl of milky porridge at bedtime or a couple of paracetamol.
As you know, your dad has no idea anything is wrong and never will have so it will take some creative manoeuvres to get him to allow your mum to have the rest she so badly needs.
Good luck!
It was the sleep disturbance that did for me in the end, while caring for my husband with vascular dementia. I just couldn’t keep going when I wasn’t getting proper sleep. The day centre is a good idea, it will keep him awake, so he might sleep better and give your mum some regular time off. You might be able to call it a ‘club’ so that he is not fully aware of where he is going. It worked with my husband!
The other thing that they might consider is getting a night carer for a couple of nights a week. I don’t know if your dad is the same, but the following morning my husband has no memory of getting up in the night, so this might not upset your dad too much. We had some that came from 9pm to 7am, so I still got my husband ready for bed and helped him in the morning, but I went to another room, shut the door and slept.
The other thing that they might consider is getting a night carer for a couple of nights a week. I don’t know if your dad is the same, but the following morning my husband has no memory of getting up in the night, so this might not upset your dad too much. We had some that came from 9pm to 7am, so I still got my husband ready for bed and helped him in the morning, but I went to another room, shut the door and slept.
