Understanding a diagnosis

[Onlyme_]

Hi, please can someone point me to a fact sheet or relevant post which covers how to try and get a PWD to understand diagnosis of a serious health problem?
My moms recently had some tests which show a mass on her lungs and although we don’t have diagnosis yet, the signs are that it could be cancer. The last hospital appointment was hurriedly arranged by the hospital calling the residential care home a couple of days before and I only found out about it the night before - the home had to provide a member of staff to take her in a taxi. The next appointment is just over a week away and as she’s already had an X-ray and CT scan, I’m guessing they will be getting close to knowing what it is, or at least deciding on more invasive tests. This time I’m taking her so I can ask questions and understand the situation. I hold power of attorney.
As she’s been discharged from the mental health team, I don’t really know what stage her Alzheimer’s Disease has reached but, despite surprising ‘hostess mode’ moments, she is deteriorating. She has no recollection of being in hospital earlier this week, can’t easily explain if she’s in pain, too hot etc, can’t remember what she had for her last meal and is forgetting a lot of key people in her life. Will she be expected to show that she understands any diagnosis? I know she will probably just nod politely but I’d be surprised if she understood any details. Is there a particular word pattern or way of explaining which might be more successful? I’d much prefer her to try and tell me how she feels about it rather than me making unilateral decisions. Do the doctors have a duty to get her to understand?
Thanks very much

 

[Beate]

You can't make her understand, there isn't any point, she won't remember, so that's why you are here to listen to the doctor and ask questions. You would also have to decide which tests or procedures she could cope with and which are too difficult and invasive. There will come a point where you might have to say, enough is enough and she won't cope with treatment. Talk to the doctors and make them understand about her dementia.

 

[Canadian Joanne]

I agree with @Beate, one cannot make a PWD understand and/or remember. In my opinion, it's important for you to take charge of your mother's health. Does your PoA cover health & welfare? I feel that sometimes medical people can get overly enthusiastic with treatments. even though it may not work.

 

[canary]

If it were a toddler, you would not be trying to get them to understand and make decisions - you would be talking to the doctor and making decisions on their behalf.
You have to approach this the same way - that is what POA is for.
Beate is right, you will need to talk things over with the doctor, weigh up the pros and cons and decide what she would be able to cope with and what would be too distressing. You may well come to the upsetting decision that it is best to let nature take its course.

 

[Duggies-girl]

Hi, please can someone point me to a fact sheet or relevant post which covers how to try and get a PWD to understand diagnosis of a serious health problem?
My moms recently had some tests which show a mass on her lungs and although we don’t have diagnosis yet, the signs are that it could be cancer. The last hospital appointment was hurriedly arranged by the hospital calling the residential care home a couple of days before and I only found out about it the night before - the home had to provide a member of staff to take her in a taxi. The next appointment is just over a week away and as she’s already had an X-ray and CT scan, I’m guessing they will be getting close to knowing what it is, or at least deciding on more invasive tests. This time I’m taking her so I can ask questions and understand the situation. I hold power of attorney.
As she’s been discharged from the mental health team, I don’t really know what stage her Alzheimer’s Disease has reached but, despite surprising ‘hostess mode’ moments, she is deteriorating. She has no recollection of being in hospital earlier this week, can’t easily explain if she’s in pain, too hot etc, can’t remember what she had for her last meal and is forgetting a lot of key people in her life. Will she be expected to show that she understands any diagnosis? I know she will probably just nod politely but I’d be surprised if she understood any details. Is there a particular word pattern or way of explaining which might be more successful? I’d much prefer her to try and tell me how she feels about it rather than me making unilateral decisions. Do the doctors have a duty to get her to understand?
Thanks very much

I agree with Beate forget trying to explain. My dad has alzheimers and oesophagul cancer and does not have a clue that he is ill. Every appointment is a surprise, medication is a surprise every time. He has had two stents and is totally unaware because he has forgotten. All of this does not help me of course but I just have to get on with it. I take it day by day now. Sorry I can't be more helpful but that is how it is for me.

 

[Bunpoots]

I agree. You won't make her understand. My dad is currently in hospital with a UTI. He's hopping mad because he thinks there's nothing wrong with him and he's missing his badminton match. He can't even stand up right now!!

 

[Onlyme_]

Thank you. I do have the health and welfare power of attorney so will fortify myself and get on with it. Yet another chapter in the book of life to navigate alone....x