Hi all, I haven't posted on here in a long while, but I have been a frequent visitor, seeking advice, reading other people's stories, but now I feel I have to share what has happened to my MIL who was diagnosed with Alzheimers in 2015.
My husband, her only son, and I have helped to care for her in her own home since her diagnosis, and has time has gone on she has relied on us more and more. The turning point came last September when she fell in the street and cracked a bone in her right hip. After hospitalisation for a week she came home, and we carried on doing more and more to help her.
In November last year, my husband found her in her hallway on the floor. She had broken her left hip. After being in hospital for 3 weeks, then rehab in a care home for 3 weeks, we adapted her home so that she could live downstairs. We brought her bed downstairs, she had a commode, carers came in for 3 weeks as that was part of the care from hospital. We decided that we could carry on giving her the same attention as the carers, as my husband had to finish work, and I worked part time so we could give her some of our time. To be honest, my MIL was horrible to the carers and resented them every time they came to tend to her.
We have been managing ok, until the last couple of weeks. First of all it started with constant phone calls, repeating the same thing. "am I at home?" or "when am I going home?" That was bad enough, constantly dashing to her house because she was upset that she was on her own in a strange place. Then approx 3 weeks ago, we got a call from the paramedic to say she had been found outside her house at 10.00pm, they had checked her over, she was ok but unaware of what had happened.
The next day, she was spotted by a neighbour at the bus stop opposite her house, saying she was "going home", luckily the neighbour phoned us, and we were there once again. Next crisis, was approx 3 days later when I was on the way to her house, and I saw here at the side of the road approx 1/2 mile away from her house, and she was looking totally lost. She couldn't remember where she was going or why.
Last Thursday, got a phone call from a kind stranger to say my MIL had been found on the path about 30 yards from her house and he had brought her back to her house as she had a key in her pocket, he got our number from a note in her purse. To cut a long story short, we took her to hospital as she had a some bruising to her face and a painful wrist, it turns out to be broken, she now has a cast on it.
Despite notices on her door telling her not to go out with me or my husband, which she obeyed prior to all this, we now know this is pointless. Twice today she has been spotted and found wandering, so we had no choice but to call the emergency number for the social services.
We are total wrecks, we are beaten, we are sad, we are tired, we have tried our best....
A Social worker came to see us, MIL included, she had helped to arrange respite for a week to see where we go from here. Although my MIL has been, in her words, "the one in charge" all her working life, I expected her to go kicking and screaming. However, she was compliant, was wondering if she had been "booked in" as we drove her there. I know this is just the start of another battle, but for tonight and the next few days I know she is safe. I know that when we go to see her tomorrow, she will have a bag packed and wondering when she is going home, but for now I can go to sleep without waking up with a knot in my stomach wondering what the day will bring.
I have read many stories on here that make me weep, but only when you tread the same path as the people on here can you appreciate the real heartbreak that dementia brings
My husband, her only son, and I have helped to care for her in her own home since her diagnosis, and has time has gone on she has relied on us more and more. The turning point came last September when she fell in the street and cracked a bone in her right hip. After hospitalisation for a week she came home, and we carried on doing more and more to help her.
In November last year, my husband found her in her hallway on the floor. She had broken her left hip. After being in hospital for 3 weeks, then rehab in a care home for 3 weeks, we adapted her home so that she could live downstairs. We brought her bed downstairs, she had a commode, carers came in for 3 weeks as that was part of the care from hospital. We decided that we could carry on giving her the same attention as the carers, as my husband had to finish work, and I worked part time so we could give her some of our time. To be honest, my MIL was horrible to the carers and resented them every time they came to tend to her.
We have been managing ok, until the last couple of weeks. First of all it started with constant phone calls, repeating the same thing. "am I at home?" or "when am I going home?" That was bad enough, constantly dashing to her house because she was upset that she was on her own in a strange place. Then approx 3 weeks ago, we got a call from the paramedic to say she had been found outside her house at 10.00pm, they had checked her over, she was ok but unaware of what had happened.
The next day, she was spotted by a neighbour at the bus stop opposite her house, saying she was "going home", luckily the neighbour phoned us, and we were there once again. Next crisis, was approx 3 days later when I was on the way to her house, and I saw here at the side of the road approx 1/2 mile away from her house, and she was looking totally lost. She couldn't remember where she was going or why.
Last Thursday, got a phone call from a kind stranger to say my MIL had been found on the path about 30 yards from her house and he had brought her back to her house as she had a key in her pocket, he got our number from a note in her purse. To cut a long story short, we took her to hospital as she had a some bruising to her face and a painful wrist, it turns out to be broken, she now has a cast on it.
Despite notices on her door telling her not to go out with me or my husband, which she obeyed prior to all this, we now know this is pointless. Twice today she has been spotted and found wandering, so we had no choice but to call the emergency number for the social services.
We are total wrecks, we are beaten, we are sad, we are tired, we have tried our best....
A Social worker came to see us, MIL included, she had helped to arrange respite for a week to see where we go from here. Although my MIL has been, in her words, "the one in charge" all her working life, I expected her to go kicking and screaming. However, she was compliant, was wondering if she had been "booked in" as we drove her there. I know this is just the start of another battle, but for tonight and the next few days I know she is safe. I know that when we go to see her tomorrow, she will have a bag packed and wondering when she is going home, but for now I can go to sleep without waking up with a knot in my stomach wondering what the day will bring.
I have read many stories on here that make me weep, but only when you tread the same path as the people on here can you appreciate the real heartbreak that dementia brings
