What can I do. My husband is still driving but he is making errors that could be life threatening to both of us. I don't like being in the car with him now. His judgement is just not as it used to be. How can I deal with It?
Husband is still driving but
- Thread starter Sleepwalker 101
- Start date
Do you have any family who could help insist he stops? How does he react to you voicing your concerns, if you feel you can? All sympathy. Happened to me, too.
Hello @Sleepwalker 101, welcome to TP. you will get support here.
Sometimes people sell the car or hide the keys. Many just write in confidence to the DVLA and let them take appropriate action. It is often a thorny issue.
In case it's of any use here's a link to an AS Factsheet about the issue https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/download/downloads/id/3430/driving_and_dementia_factsheet_439.pdf
If you need to talk to someone about the matter the help line details are
National Dementia Helpline
0300 222 11 22
Our helpline advisers are here for you.
Helpline opening hours:
Monday to Wednesday 9am – 8pm
Thursday and Friday 9am – 5pm
Saturday and Sunday 10am – 4pm
Sometimes people sell the car or hide the keys. Many just write in confidence to the DVLA and let them take appropriate action. It is often a thorny issue.
In case it's of any use here's a link to an AS Factsheet about the issue https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/download/downloads/id/3430/driving_and_dementia_factsheet_439.pdf
If you need to talk to someone about the matter the help line details are
National Dementia Helpline
0300 222 11 22
Our helpline advisers are here for you.
Helpline opening hours:
Monday to Wednesday 9am – 8pm
Thursday and Friday 9am – 5pm
Saturday and Sunday 10am – 4pm
Hello, My GP informed the DVLA in confidence that in his opinion my wife was unfit to drive and they sent her a letter demanding that her license be sent to them.
The license could be restored if a test of competence was taken and passed. Oh, I had informed her insurance company some time before that she had been diagnosed with moderate/severe Alzheimers. They simply passed the buck and said if her GP was happy to let her drive then they had no objection.
I would suspect that serious trouble could flow from someone who had been diagnosed with something like Alzheimers having an accident. Who knows what the insurance company might do? So, I would think that your husband's insurance company needs to be informed that is if they have not already been informed of any diagnosis. This is not giving advice but merely giving my own experience. best wishes.
Report him to the DVLA. It is anonymous so he can't blame you. He won't take any notice of anyone unless it is official from someone in authority.
If you don't want to do it get a neighbour or friend to do it. If he carries on you may end up in a situation that everyone regrets.
I had to get dads doctor to tell him not to drive anymore after he had so many dents in it then finally lost it while shopping. He had dents front and rear and a scrape down one side where he hit a parked lorry. He also wrote off a tyre by hitting a traffic island. It could of been so much worse.
I faced the same problem, luckily for me, the doctor told MOH that he mustn't drive anymore, so that was it. If I was in the same situation as you, I would approach his doctor, tell him that you're afraid to go in the car with him, but worse still, you're afraid that he might kill or injure an innocent person, which would be terrible. His doctor will be aware of the danger he is on the road, and must act accordingly.
Hi, we had 2 cars and when I thought he was no longer safe I suggested we only needed one car. I already had concerns about him driving. Once he'd been diagnosed I was told to tell the DVLA and insurance even if they are fit to drive and they issued him with a 12 month license which had to be renewed annually.
When it was up for renewal I just wrote to them and said returned the license without telling him - I think this was my first BIG deception.
My worry was that he would not be able to give a full account of an event he was involved in and so could be taken advantage of if he had not been at fault.
He doesn't like it but doesn't really complain any more and I'd never have forgiven myself if he had injured someone.
Very tricky - easier if you can find someone else to 'blame'. Doctors have broad shoulders.
Good Luck
Rosie
When it was up for renewal I just wrote to them and said returned the license without telling him - I think this was my first BIG deception.
My worry was that he would not be able to give a full account of an event he was involved in and so could be taken advantage of if he had not been at fault.
He doesn't like it but doesn't really complain any more and I'd never have forgiven myself if he had injured someone.
Very tricky - easier if you can find someone else to 'blame'. Doctors have broad shoulders.
Good Luck
Rosie
If he has a diagnosis of dementia he has to inform DVLA. My OH was an advanced driver and a coach driver - still working- and I was frantic when he was diagnosed, as I knew his driving had become worse. I wrote to the doctor first and got him on board, and then contacted the DVLA - they will also contact the Dr. It worked for me first time.
It was a huge decision as I have given up driving through sight loss in one eye, and we now have no means of transport and live in a small isolated village - but it was definitely the right thing to do.
You will be so relieved if you do this, otherwise you will become increasingly scared that he will injure either of you, or some innocent person. I explained it to my OH by asking him how would he feel if he knocked down a small child, like our little granddaughter??
maryjoan -scarey thought, a coach driver with dementia. Well done on doing the right thing.
Re driving with sight only in one eye, it can still be legal, see
https://help.rnib.org.uk/help/daily-living/transport-travel/monocular-drive
though I can understand if you don't feel that your vision would be safe.
Re driving with sight only in one eye, it can still be legal, see
https://help.rnib.org.uk/help/daily-living/transport-travel/monocular-drive
though I can understand if you don't feel that your vision would be safe.
