Behaviour in the care home
- Thread starter Lorrell28
- Start date
It's entirely down to the care home to decide what they can cope with and what they can't. They can give her notice to leave if her behaviour gets too challenging for them so you best speak to management about their rules on this. Some care homes only like the nice, complaint patients, others take just about everything in their stride.
My dad has just moved into a nice friendly care home where both the staff and other residents were very nice but within a week of being there my dads behaviour has turned aggressive to the point where he punched the manager of the home twice and tried to punch other staff which in turn terrified the other residents. The home had no choice but to have my dad comitted to a mental health hospital and he has now been given notice to leave. We are hoping that social services along with the hospital will in time find the right kind of home for him. It is heart breaking seeing my dad like this as he doesnt understand whats happening as he forgets what he has done. I hope that your mother doesnt have to go through the same upheaval and maybe adjusting her medication will keep her on a nice even keel x
hi Lorrell28
I'm glad you are happy with your mum's home
is there something in particular that's causing you concern, as unless staff at the home have been mentioning 'problems' I don't see why you would need to worry
if there's something at the back of your mind, better to have a chat with the manager and be wholly upfront - hopefully that will settle your mind - I chat with the staff in dad's home each time I visit so we all know what's going on and that we are working as a team to support him - that way when the staff have concerns they know they can tell me and we work them through, and vice versa
should it turn out that the manager has concerns, you can make suggestions for what works for you with your mum and ask what support the home will put in place to help the staff and your mum - and if they cannot provide satisfactorily for her needs, best that you know and have some time to look for a placement elsewhere
my dad too had a challenging few weeks - the manager brought in the community psychiatric team and we all worked together to support dad - through tweaks in meds, and times some were taken, and carefully monitoring dad's behaviour - the staff got to recognise the signs that he was becoming agitated and were able to either help him to find a quiet place to calm down, get him his prn meds before he became too agitated to take them, or watch him carefully while he worked through his anger and then help him settle again - I really feared he may need to be sectioned, but the staff put a lot of effort into keeping him in the home, for which I am grateful - and all through they said what a lovely man he is; it was just that he was going through a tough period - they never 'blamed' him for the behaviour he was exhibiting because of the dementia
however, as Charlie Parker says, a section is a way to put support in place, not a way of sweeping problems under the carpet, so if it is ever necessary it's not a disaster at all
I hope it turns out your fears are groundless
best wishes
I'm glad you are happy with your mum's home
is there something in particular that's causing you concern, as unless staff at the home have been mentioning 'problems' I don't see why you would need to worry
if there's something at the back of your mind, better to have a chat with the manager and be wholly upfront - hopefully that will settle your mind - I chat with the staff in dad's home each time I visit so we all know what's going on and that we are working as a team to support him - that way when the staff have concerns they know they can tell me and we work them through, and vice versa
should it turn out that the manager has concerns, you can make suggestions for what works for you with your mum and ask what support the home will put in place to help the staff and your mum - and if they cannot provide satisfactorily for her needs, best that you know and have some time to look for a placement elsewhere
my dad too had a challenging few weeks - the manager brought in the community psychiatric team and we all worked together to support dad - through tweaks in meds, and times some were taken, and carefully monitoring dad's behaviour - the staff got to recognise the signs that he was becoming agitated and were able to either help him to find a quiet place to calm down, get him his prn meds before he became too agitated to take them, or watch him carefully while he worked through his anger and then help him settle again - I really feared he may need to be sectioned, but the staff put a lot of effort into keeping him in the home, for which I am grateful - and all through they said what a lovely man he is; it was just that he was going through a tough period - they never 'blamed' him for the behaviour he was exhibiting because of the dementia
however, as Charlie Parker says, a section is a way to put support in place, not a way of sweeping problems under the carpet, so if it is ever necessary it's not a disaster at all
I hope it turns out your fears are groundless
best wishes
Hi Lorrell28
I feel for you because we are at that point right now. My mum has been in a lovely residential home for 3 years, but her behaviour has gradually changed. Two weeks ago the manager spoke to me about the challenges they were facing and some of the strategies they were trying. She was lovely, but I saw the direction things were headed - no guarantee that mum could stay long term (the manager, quite rightly, has to consider the needs of all the residents). After speaking to our care manager I had a look at other local facilities, and to my enormous surprise found a home, with a vacancy, which I think might genuinely be better for mum at this stage. She moves later this week, and I'll report back in a couple of weeks. Our feeling was that we were better not to wait until a crisis happened and mum may have been forced to move somewhere less appealing or miles away. We always knew that this point may come, although we hoped it wouldn't, and mum wasn't asked to leave. We believe we made the best choice three years ago, but mum herself is so different now that she needs different care. Any advice on moving homes would be gratefully received!
I feel for you because we are at that point right now. My mum has been in a lovely residential home for 3 years, but her behaviour has gradually changed. Two weeks ago the manager spoke to me about the challenges they were facing and some of the strategies they were trying. She was lovely, but I saw the direction things were headed - no guarantee that mum could stay long term (the manager, quite rightly, has to consider the needs of all the residents). After speaking to our care manager I had a look at other local facilities, and to my enormous surprise found a home, with a vacancy, which I think might genuinely be better for mum at this stage. She moves later this week, and I'll report back in a couple of weeks. Our feeling was that we were better not to wait until a crisis happened and mum may have been forced to move somewhere less appealing or miles away. We always knew that this point may come, although we hoped it wouldn't, and mum wasn't asked to leave. We believe we made the best choice three years ago, but mum herself is so different now that she needs different care. Any advice on moving homes would be gratefully received!
Thanks for all your replies. I guess I’m just worried that the lovely care home that Mum is in will decide her behaviour will become a problem to the other residents. They have 2 floors where Mum is and she did start on the 1st floor where there were times she was a bit of a problem. But would settle, it was at times of an infection when she would be a little tricky. However for her own safety and for security they moved Mum upstairs which is more secure. The staff are great and know when and how to calm Mum down and I have complete faith in them it’s jsut that I’m wondering what the next step is if they decide she becomes to difficult for the home.
I would imagine any future decline or dramatic change in behaviour and the home's ability to handle and support your mum would very much depend on the risk she would present to herself, other residents and staff so I would take each day as it comes and not look too far into the what ifs. The illness can be unpredictable in its method and speed of decline for different people, there will always be a home somewhere that can manage more challenging behaviour if a move is deemed necessary for more expertise. Try to relax into the time you have with your mum in this home and only think about what it's if you actually are faced with a problem the home can't solve.
I just wanted to post a brief update on my mum’s move to a nursing home. It has gone very smoothly, at least in part because she isn’t really aware of where she is anyway. The new unit makes it easier for her to have freedom to wander. In her previous home she had to be continually distracted as she annoyed more able residents, whereas now all the residents have a substantial degree of dementia as well. I can understand why moving is a worrying thought- we were very apprehensive, but sometimes it can turn out to be a positive change. Good luck to anyone else who is facing a change.
I’m not from the UK, but this worries me greatly also.
We have 4 levels of care here in New Zealand.
Rest Home
Hospital
Dementia Care
Pshycogeriatric Care
If my Mum wasnt at risk of wandering she would have been at Rest Home level, but went into a secure Dementia Unit.
For the first 7 mnths she was great ( as she could) so good at times people wondered why she was there.
2 UTI’s March & May have seen a marked decline. Not so much disruptive to other residents but needing much more one on one care as she is constantly agitated, anxious, not eating and resistant to personal cares. Mum is on her second lot of meds to try. Currently on Quetiapine which worked really well for 6 weeks at least.
Now back to the drawing board.
Have another visit with mental health team, Dietician , & GP today.
We have 4 levels of care here in New Zealand.
Rest Home
Hospital
Dementia Care
Pshycogeriatric Care
If my Mum wasnt at risk of wandering she would have been at Rest Home level, but went into a secure Dementia Unit.
For the first 7 mnths she was great ( as she could) so good at times people wondered why she was there.
2 UTI’s March & May have seen a marked decline. Not so much disruptive to other residents but needing much more one on one care as she is constantly agitated, anxious, not eating and resistant to personal cares. Mum is on her second lot of meds to try. Currently on Quetiapine which worked really well for 6 weeks at least.
Now back to the drawing board.
Have another visit with mental health team, Dietician , & GP today.
