I am at my wits end with my brother who lives at my mum's home and has done for around eight years. He's been okay sharing help with mum, and even asked for our help as he wants a personal life so my brother and sister and I decided we would take turns to go in the evening to bath her and get her ready for bed. My nephew's partner goes in the morning and lunchtime to prepare something to eat. We decided to become power of attorneys last October but my brother who lives there refused to come in with us. We started receiving bank statements and can see that my brother has been using her account and set up online banking last year, he's paid some of his bills using her money and even sold her car a couple of years ago and used that money and also £8,000 from her savings, he managed to do this by taking her to the bank and transferring four lots of £2,000. We've overlooked this as what can we do about it, mum would be so distressed if we involved police in anything.
He's blocked our numbers from his mobile so we can't get in touch with him to see what hours he's working, and he quite often works long hours. He started unplugging the landline so we could neither ring her or she ring us so each time we visited we would plug it back in. So then what he did was cancel the line altogether, which he was paying for and told us he couldn't afford it. We installed a new landline and got her the dementia phone where you can put photos and she just has to press those to reach us. We've since learnt upon checking this phone that our numbers have been disabled and one of them even goes through to 999.
Another thing we couldn't do was get in the house as he would leave his key in the lock, my brother went on his night to sort mum and again he couldn't get in so he rang the bell but the brother who lives there wouldn't answer the door, occasionally if he's having his girlfriend round he puts her to bed early. So we changed the locks to one where we can get in even when there's a key the other side which was fine until he realised we can do this, and Im only guessing this, but last night when I tried to get in the key wouldn't work and I believe he'd wedged something under the handle, although I can't prove this.
He's completely taken over her fridge and often there are out of date, mouldy things in there, it's heaving with food that she's unable to use as most of it needs cooking so I cleared a shelf for her snacks so she can easily see what is hers but he keeps rearranging it back and told me it's not needed.
I don't know what to do, he refuses to talk to us and leaves the house as we arrive. I am at my wits end with him, all we want to do is make sure mum's eating properly and getting to bed okay.
He's blocked our numbers from his mobile so we can't get in touch with him to see what hours he's working, and he quite often works long hours. He started unplugging the landline so we could neither ring her or she ring us so each time we visited we would plug it back in. So then what he did was cancel the line altogether, which he was paying for and told us he couldn't afford it. We installed a new landline and got her the dementia phone where you can put photos and she just has to press those to reach us. We've since learnt upon checking this phone that our numbers have been disabled and one of them even goes through to 999.
Another thing we couldn't do was get in the house as he would leave his key in the lock, my brother went on his night to sort mum and again he couldn't get in so he rang the bell but the brother who lives there wouldn't answer the door, occasionally if he's having his girlfriend round he puts her to bed early. So we changed the locks to one where we can get in even when there's a key the other side which was fine until he realised we can do this, and Im only guessing this, but last night when I tried to get in the key wouldn't work and I believe he'd wedged something under the handle, although I can't prove this.
He's completely taken over her fridge and often there are out of date, mouldy things in there, it's heaving with food that she's unable to use as most of it needs cooking so I cleared a shelf for her snacks so she can easily see what is hers but he keeps rearranging it back and told me it's not needed.
I don't know what to do, he refuses to talk to us and leaves the house as we arrive. I am at my wits end with him, all we want to do is make sure mum's eating properly and getting to bed okay.
Your mother didn't choose to be in the situation she is in now and needs to be protected and looked after. If by protecting your mother it will mean negative consequences for your brother then he only has himself to blame.
