Mum keeps trashing her possesions

[Linbrusco]

Mum has been in care since July last, and up until Feb this year, she had a few knick knacks in her room, photos, vases, artificial flowers, magazines in her drawer, and we kept her little tinsel Christmas Tree up as she liked it. Same with her Christmas cards.

Then from Feb shes had 2 UTI's, and things have turned to custard.
Agitation, anxiety, mood swings, lack of appetite, taking her to her room..... suddenly Mum who was always very social joining in everything, talking to everyone, is now avoiding residents in the main lounge " as there are too many people"

3 weeks ago they started Mum on 0.25mg of Lorazepam, and she has been alot better. Still having the odd off day, but eating better, and joining in activities a little more.

I think what has been hard to accept, and I suppose with taking to her room more, everything over this time is either lost, broken, trashed, or destroyed, or ripped up in shreds. Even her artificial flowers are broken, ripped apart, or you will fund sitting in a jar of face cream, or in a glass of orange juice, sheets pulled off her bed, pillow cases off and folded, cushions busted, zips broken..... Even now after her UTI's, anti biotics, blood tests for everything under the sun, and start of Lorazepam she is still the same.
She does not appear in pain.

All Mum has left is her bed, dresser and chair.

When Mum first went into care, a lady that Mum became friendly with asked us to look at her room. Much like Mum now, she had no personal possesions and I thought how sad Now I know probably the reason why.

My daughter made Mum a little floral wall hanging, which I took up yesterday. I'm not holding out hope.

Is there any answer to this? Is it just a phase?

 

[Chemmy]

It is sad, isn't it? When I cleared my mum's room at the end, I came away with half a carrier bag of stuff to bring home, that's all. But I guess if your mum isn't bothered by things being destroyed, then maybe it doesn't matter in the scheme of things?

As she gets less mobile, she won't be able to do this any more, but she also probably won't appreciate new things either as we might expect. With the best will in the world, my SIL keeps adding photos to her Mum's room and can't seem to see that MIL is just irritated by what she regards as additional 'clutter'. Looking at it from her point of view, photos of greatgrandchildren have lost their meaning, so why would she want them there?

However, I think the whole experience has made me much less materialistic, as it makes you realise that all we need at the beginning and end of our lives is loving care.

 

[jaymor]

My husband was the same. Started with finding torn magazines followed by pulling all the back stands off his photo frames so they no longer stood up. As quick as we replaced them he did it again. So we stopped replacing them. A Carer suggested laminating the photos and they would put them on the wall. That did not work, he took them down and folded them up and left them everywhere.

Not having them around did not appear to bother him and as Chemmy says, all we really need is love and care.

 

[istherelight?]

Trashing possessions

Mum has been in care since July last, and up until Feb this year, she had a few knick knacks in her room, photos, vases, artificial flowers, magazines in her drawer, and we kept her little tinsel Christmas Tree up as she liked it. Same with her Christmas cards.

Then from Feb shes had 2 UTI's, and things have turned to custard.
Agitation, anxiety, mood swings, lack of appetite, taking her to her room..... suddenly Mum who was always very social joining in everything, talking to everyone, is now avoiding residents in the main lounge " as there are too many people"

3 weeks ago they started Mum on 0.25mg of Lorazepam, and she has been alot better. Still having the odd off day, but eating better, and joining in activities a little more.

I think what has been hard to accept, and I suppose with taking to her room more, everything over this time is either lost, broken, trashed, or destroyed, or ripped up in shreds. Even her artificial flowers are broken, ripped apart, or you will fund sitting in a jar of face cream, or in a glass of orange juice, sheets pulled off her bed, pillow cases off and folded, cushions busted, zips broken..... Even now after her UTI's, anti biotics, blood tests for everything under the sun, and start of Lorazepam she is still the same.
She does not appear in pain.

All Mum has left is her bed, dresser and chair.

When Mum first went into care, a lady that Mum became friendly with asked us to look at her room. Much like Mum now, she had no personal possesions and I thought how sad Now I know probably the reason why.

My daughter made Mum a little floral wall hanging, which I took up yesterday. I'm not holding out hope.

Is there any answer to this? Is it just a phase?

My Mum's the same. She went into a Care Home in February and promptly started hiding, destroying and clearing all the photos and small possessions that I had thought would make her room feel more homely. Her room is now bare apart from a couple of her pictures that she thinks are stuck to the wall (that is until she starts fiddling with them).

My Mum's close male friend suggested that she might like a TV in her room but they'd have to nail it to the wall! It makes me sad, especially when I see other residents with rooms full of stuff. But it doesn't seem to bother my Mum at all.

 

[Georgina63]

Mum has been in care since July last, and up until Feb this year, she had a few knick knacks in her room, photos, vases, artificial flowers, magazines in her drawer, and we kept her little tinsel Christmas Tree up as she liked it. Same with her Christmas cards.

Then from Feb shes had 2 UTI's, and things have turned to custard.
Agitation, anxiety, mood swings, lack of appetite, taking her to her room..... suddenly Mum who was always very social joining in everything, talking to everyone, is now avoiding residents in the main lounge " as there are too many people"

3 weeks ago they started Mum on 0.25mg of Lorazepam, and she has been alot better. Still having the odd off day, but eating better, and joining in activities a little more.

I think what has been hard to accept, and I suppose with taking to her room more, everything over this time is either lost, broken, trashed, or destroyed, or ripped up in shreds. Even her artificial flowers are broken, ripped apart, or you will fund sitting in a jar of face cream, or in a glass of orange juice, sheets pulled off her bed, pillow cases off and folded, cushions busted, zips broken..... Even now after her UTI's, anti biotics, blood tests for everything under the sun, and start of Lorazepam she is still the same.
She does not appear in pain.

All Mum has left is her bed, dresser and chair.

When Mum first went into care, a lady that Mum became friendly with asked us to look at her room. Much like Mum now, she had no personal possesions and I thought how sad Now I know probably the reason why.

My daughter made Mum a little floral wall hanging, which I took up yesterday. I'm not holding out hope.

Is there any answer to this? Is it just a phase?

Hi Linbrusco

My Mum is very similar. There are very few possessions in her room other than a few small things in a memory box on the wall and which is difficult to open. She has some photos, but the frames are now damaged and they are invariably hidden in a drawer along with photos that she has picked up from someone else's room. It's so hard to know what to do for the best....trying to find things/pictures/photos that might appeal? - it is very sad, especially when comparing to some of the cosy rooms of other residents. Reassuring to know of the experiences of others though. Take care. Gx

 

[Tin]

Not a carehome scenario here, but my mum's bedroom looks nothing like it did when she first moved in and all the familiar things we brought from her home have now gone and I have removed so much stuff including a tv - she kept trying to get behind it! I have bought her a few odd ornaments and pieces from charity shops, just to fill the gaps, but these eventually end up hidden in drawers or folded to put under her bed. The lack of things in her room does not seem to bother her. The room needs decorating, she has managed to peel off some of the wallpaper, but because she will have to sleep somewhere else while this happens, I keep putting it off. I did have a plan to decorate the small room that I am in and then move mum in there permanently.

 

[ferniegirl]

I'm afraid this is really common. My mum has torn apart her photo album, broken photo frames and mainly loses everything, handbags, books, face creams, slippers, clothes, vases, cushions. Unfortunately she takes things on walkabout and they get lost and anything you buy her gets broken and crumpled. We've even had to take away her wedding ring as she drops it on the floor. She now has nothing pretty or of any value at all in her room. I tried and tried but have given up now. It's so sad.

 

[Oh Knickers]

I just wonder whether it is down to overload. The fewer items/things they are the less stressful it is.

I am a dyslexic and find too much out or on surfaces stressful. Mainly because I really struggle with where to start to do the tidying!

But just wonder whether too many items is the same for the brain in dementia to cope with.