Mum went into a care home 2 months ago. It's a good home but the room is small, no view etc. Room costs £600 a week, council pay £500 a week and Dad pays additional £100. A nicer room has become available which we (Dad, myself and my 3 siblings) all looked at and liked to varying degrees. Dad and one sibling thought the improvement was marginal; I and 2 others were very enthusiastic about it and thought that Mum would be happier in there.
Cost of new room is £750 per week and Dad said he'll fund an additional £100 (to £700). Mum has shares and assets worth about 13k so I've suggested to everyone that the additional £50 per week comes from this (enough to last 5 years) so she can have the new room. The reply came back from Dad to say that he had spoken to everyone else and everyone agreed that Mum should stay in her current room and that he wouldn't fund the extra £50 a week, despite my message stating clearly the funds wouldn't come from him. Everyone was copied into the message and no one else commented so I know I am (again!) completely alone on this.
As POAs we have to use Mum's funds in her best interests. Is using her funds to pay for a better room appropriate? Is it reasonable for the other POAs to say 'no' on this matter? Prior to Mum going into the home (a few months) ago the POAs (including me) had agreed that Mum's shares should be sold to pay for a new dementia friendly bathroom, so the principle of selling them to use for Mum is established. Personally I would be willing to pay my fair share of the £50 extra a week (if it can't come from Mum's funds) to make sure Mum is as happy as possible but there is no way on this planet or any other planet my family would join me on this.
It's caused me a huge amount of upset this week. Mum is very depressed and not coping well in the home and I want to do all I can to help her but I can't get anyone to support me. And don't get me started on the fact that Dad has shares and cash worth about £300,000.
Cost of new room is £750 per week and Dad said he'll fund an additional £100 (to £700). Mum has shares and assets worth about 13k so I've suggested to everyone that the additional £50 per week comes from this (enough to last 5 years) so she can have the new room. The reply came back from Dad to say that he had spoken to everyone else and everyone agreed that Mum should stay in her current room and that he wouldn't fund the extra £50 a week, despite my message stating clearly the funds wouldn't come from him. Everyone was copied into the message and no one else commented so I know I am (again!) completely alone on this.
As POAs we have to use Mum's funds in her best interests. Is using her funds to pay for a better room appropriate? Is it reasonable for the other POAs to say 'no' on this matter? Prior to Mum going into the home (a few months) ago the POAs (including me) had agreed that Mum's shares should be sold to pay for a new dementia friendly bathroom, so the principle of selling them to use for Mum is established. Personally I would be willing to pay my fair share of the £50 extra a week (if it can't come from Mum's funds) to make sure Mum is as happy as possible but there is no way on this planet or any other planet my family would join me on this.
It's caused me a huge amount of upset this week. Mum is very depressed and not coping well in the home and I want to do all I can to help her but I can't get anyone to support me. And don't get me started on the fact that Dad has shares and cash worth about £300,000.