He is so tired I am trying to find answers for him. His mother lives at home. She is 95 years old and has Alzhiemers//dementia. She has been diagnosed for 7 years. This is her daily situation. She does not know her family members. She is constantly seeing people who are deceased. She talks to them and has conversations. She is able to eat and at times walk to the restroom herself but other than that she is just gone. She has nights she screams, cries, hits, wants her parents, wants to go home, every symptom. Her doctor does not have her on medication for this. I have been told there at things to help "slow down" her brain at night so she can sleep. As of today, she has been up 29 hours straight. Her only other health issue is that she has a pacemaker. I am trying to find answers or help in how he can help her rest at night. This has to be hard on her mind and body. Any answers are appreciated and I would like to thank you in advance.
Help for my brother in laws mother
- Thread starter helpplease
- Start date
Hi
I'm fairly new to this, but didn't want to read & run
If you are in the UK, your brother in law would need to claim Attendance Allowance, it is not means tested & can be used to help with cost for Carers or Day Care etc. Get in touch with Age UK as they may be able to help you complete the form for the best chance of being awarded. Complete it as she is on her worst day.
If she is on no medication, I would suggest getting her back to the doctor and getting a review. Her diagnosis of 7 years ago needs updating & may result in something being prescribed that may bring her some relief
Contact Adult Social Care & ask for an assessment, even if not entitled to financial assistance, it puts her in their radar for the future
Day Care may be an option, although many fight against going, so suggest it as a "club" with activities she may enjoy. It will give your brother in law some time off
Look at the link below (hope it works), put in her postcode and see what is available in her area (support in the community shows Carers group in the postcode area)
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/local-information/dementia-connect/#!/search
If your brother in law is caring for his mother, he should claim Carers allowance, he can earn a very small amount in top of the allowance. He may find it helpful to join a local Carers group, I found being able to talk with others in the same situation very helpful
Suggest he joins this site, as he can find lots of helpful suggestions & it helps to "talk" about your situation in a safe place
I've made some assumptions, as you've not given a lot of detail, so I hope this is helpful to you & your brother in law (BIL)
You may find the link below helpful in understanding the abbreviations
https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?96321-Abbreviations-and-Acronyms
I'm sure others will be along with other suggestions
Sam
I'm fairly new to this, but didn't want to read & run
If you are in the UK, your brother in law would need to claim Attendance Allowance, it is not means tested & can be used to help with cost for Carers or Day Care etc. Get in touch with Age UK as they may be able to help you complete the form for the best chance of being awarded. Complete it as she is on her worst day.
If she is on no medication, I would suggest getting her back to the doctor and getting a review. Her diagnosis of 7 years ago needs updating & may result in something being prescribed that may bring her some relief
Contact Adult Social Care & ask for an assessment, even if not entitled to financial assistance, it puts her in their radar for the future
Day Care may be an option, although many fight against going, so suggest it as a "club" with activities she may enjoy. It will give your brother in law some time off
Look at the link below (hope it works), put in her postcode and see what is available in her area (support in the community shows Carers group in the postcode area)
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/local-information/dementia-connect/#!/search
If your brother in law is caring for his mother, he should claim Carers allowance, he can earn a very small amount in top of the allowance
. He may find it helpful to join a local Carers group, I found being able to talk with others in the same situation very helpfulSuggest he joins this site, as he can find lots of helpful suggestions & it helps to "talk" about your situation in a safe place
I've made some assumptions, as you've not given a lot of detail, so I hope this is helpful to you & your brother in law (BIL)
You may find the link below helpful in understanding the abbreviations
https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?96321-Abbreviations-and-Acronyms
I'm sure others will be along with other suggestions
Sam
hello helpplease
a warm welcome to TP
how kind of you to be supporting your BIL, it sounds as though he needs someone looking out for him, caring does take a lot of energy and he must be so worried about his mother
I'm wondering whether reading through some of the AS factsheets might give you an overview - a link here
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents.php?categoryID=200137&_ga=1.166409853.213745934.1462100281
are you in the US? (you mention restroom, which in the UK would be bathroom) - TP has many members in the US who can offer advice more specific to your location - maybe add US or a state to your profile so that everyone can see where you're from when they look at your thread
maybe it's time to go back to the doctor and ask for a review of her medication - list out all her behaviours and your concerns so your BIL can hand the doctor a note of everything that's a worry (I tend to forget things when I'm in the thick of an appointment) - maybe try a couple of paracetomol before bedtime, if she's not taking any meds this would have a reaction with; several TPers say this helps the person they care for settle
in fact I've just read again that she's been up 29 hours, now probably more - is there an emergency medical service you can contact? maybe even just call an ambulance so that a medic has to assess her
is it time to consider a move to a care home, so that she has a team around her to support her day and night; one person just can't do this even with home care visits
sorry not to be of much help
do have a mooch round the site as there's lots of info here - and do keep posting
best wishes
a warm welcome to TP
how kind of you to be supporting your BIL, it sounds as though he needs someone looking out for him, caring does take a lot of energy and he must be so worried about his mother
I'm wondering whether reading through some of the AS factsheets might give you an overview - a link here
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents.php?categoryID=200137&_ga=1.166409853.213745934.1462100281
are you in the US? (you mention restroom, which in the UK would be bathroom) - TP has many members in the US who can offer advice more specific to your location - maybe add US or a state to your profile so that everyone can see where you're from when they look at your thread
maybe it's time to go back to the doctor and ask for a review of her medication - list out all her behaviours and your concerns so your BIL can hand the doctor a note of everything that's a worry (I tend to forget things when I'm in the thick of an appointment) - maybe try a couple of paracetomol before bedtime, if she's not taking any meds this would have a reaction with; several TPers say this helps the person they care for settle
in fact I've just read again that she's been up 29 hours, now probably more - is there an emergency medical service you can contact? maybe even just call an ambulance so that a medic has to assess her
is it time to consider a move to a care home, so that she has a team around her to support her day and night; one person just can't do this even with home care visits
sorry not to be of much help
do have a mooch round the site as there's lots of info here - and do keep posting
best wishes
Hello Help Please and welcome to the forum.
Your poor brother in law, he really needs so help (you are so kindly trying to help out) It is a nightmare situation when you cannot rest because of the person with dementia not sleeping.
I've just started a thread about my Mum who is in a similar situation and paces up and down all night. BUT, the big difference is that my Mum (100 yrs old) is in a lovely care home and of course there are staff on hand 24/7.
It's impossible to continue in this way for your brother in law. You have been given some great advice on here, I do hope that things will get better for your Brother in Law very soon.
Have a look at the advice given to me on the earlier posts. as lots of medications are mentioned.
Pauline
xx
Your poor brother in law, he really needs so help (you are so kindly trying to help out) It is a nightmare situation when you cannot rest because of the person with dementia not sleeping.
I've just started a thread about my Mum who is in a similar situation and paces up and down all night. BUT, the big difference is that my Mum (100 yrs old) is in a lovely care home and of course there are staff on hand 24/7.
It's impossible to continue in this way for your brother in law. You have been given some great advice on here, I do hope that things will get better for your Brother in Law very soon.
Have a look at the advice given to me on the earlier posts. as lots of medications are mentioned.
Pauline
xx
Good catch on the "restroom," I didn't notice that. Yes, if you are somewhere other than the U.K., or your BIL's mother is, please let us know so someone here can do their best to point you towards assistance.
Meds are helping but she seems to be getting worse
He took her to the doctor in the US and he put her on Lorazepam and something for sleep. It seems to help in the sleeping area but she is so much worse. Visited and I noticed she had developed her own language and is hard to understand. She forgets how to swallow medicine at times. She also gets confused on how to eat. She does eat but thinks she eats soup with a fork, etc... It is so very sad. She also is at times very cruel to him while caring for her. Her confusion has led to pulling down her pants and using the restroom anywhere at all, or just in her depends underwear. She was always such a proper lady I was wondering if this decline is normal. She is seeing so many deceased people and having conversations and arguing with ones who are not there. I just want to give him the best advice I can find. Thanks to all of you who replied. It is appreciated so very much.
He took her to the doctor in the US and he put her on Lorazepam and something for sleep. It seems to help in the sleeping area but she is so much worse. Visited and I noticed she had developed her own language and is hard to understand. She forgets how to swallow medicine at times. She also gets confused on how to eat. She does eat but thinks she eats soup with a fork, etc... It is so very sad. She also is at times very cruel to him while caring for her. Her confusion has led to pulling down her pants and using the restroom anywhere at all, or just in her depends underwear. She was always such a proper lady
I was wondering if this decline is normal. She is seeing so many deceased people and having conversations and arguing with ones who are not there. I just want to give him the best advice I can find. Thanks to all of you who replied. It is appreciated so very much.
