My Dad and his Vascular Dementia Xxx

[rarkaah]

Having just had compassionate leave as my Dads Vascular dementia has deteriorated, what do I say when people say how is your Dad, he now assisted with ALL his needs and barely opens his eyes, I am not NOK... yes I know his dying... how do I answer and love to you for sharing this emotional time...Xxx

 

[rarkaah]

Dad and his Vascular Dementia Xxx

This week has been so difficult and the guilt is unbearable Dad has deteriorated is dying and lives so far away and when I visited this week on compassionate leave, due to convince his wife that she does not need to send him in to hospital, he can stay at the nursing home, she agreed but the change to him in 6 months is shocking and now all needs are assisted and I want this to end for him, Dad would not want this and not to know us or open his eyes...

What do I say to people???

Thank you Xxx

 

[nellbelles]

Rarkaah welcome to TP, although I am sorry for the circumstances that have got you here.

I would tell everyone the truth, he is ill and there is nothing a hospital can do to make him better, and his care will be much better if he remains in the NH.

Sending you and your family strength for this difficult time.

 

[Red66]

Sadly you say the truth, what else can you do? I know how hard it is watching someone you love deteriorate before your eyes, out of your control, and you feel helpless. Lost even. Stay strong. Red x

 

[nicky1]

thinking of you

Hi there, in very similar situation myself and no I am not ok either feeling all sorts of emotions - I also live far from dad - see my post I have just added.

My advice is to tell it as it is - tell people all you can, talk to as many people as you can and be kind to yourself. It is Christmas which is making it even harder I think. I keep crying, even though I know it is for the best for dad. I feel very other worldly. You are not alone. Don't try to be stronger than you can - just be yourself, what else can you do.

Talk to your dad - I was told talk and touch even though eyes closed. It will help. Hope you are managing to visit him a bit. Long journeys are tiring too aren't they

Lots of love Nicky

 

[rarkaah]

Thank you

Much appreciated your comments Xxx such a difficult time with no end date... mixed emotions Xxx

 

[cragmaid]

I used to tell people that my late Mum was very frail, and that it was simply a matter of time before her illness took her from us.

I am sending you kind thoughts because I do know what you are going through.

 

[rarkaah]

Thank you

Thank you means a lot, so difficult and now on receiving end and know how hard this is to say no change... to Dad...

 

[webby123]

so sorry to hear this,i went through the same thing earlier in the year,i remember talking to one guy on the ward who was visiting and he remarked even though your mums 88 we all would love our parents to go on to 188,all you can do is keep people informed ,i found friends and family support a comfort through my troubled time

 

[rarkaah]

Thank you so much and the support is well received Xxx

 

[reddollyfood]

Thank you means a lot, so difficult and now on receiving end and know how hard this is to say no change... to Dad...

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[Al-4]

Sorry to hear about your situation. May the Lord comfort your dad and give you and your family strength in this time of need.

 

[rarkaah]

Sorry to hear about your situation. May the Lord comfort your dad and give you and your family strength in this time of need.

Thank you very much


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