Thank you all for your kind replies... (you too, Sleepless x). XXX
Christmas has been the strangest time, (apart from the never-ending worry of Daniel), there has been no external pressure.
An unusual feeling.
Surreal to have had two dyings, deaths and funerals to agonise, nurse, weep, organise and feel relief from, in such a short space of time.
Peter and I have had to try to disentangle the one from the other in an attempt to honour each individual.
That was extraordinarily challenging, bitter sweet but ultimately Peter felt he'd discovered them (familiarity breeds contempt?) and so it was with great joy we've discovered 'hidden' photos of M+H in Ronnie Scott's in the early 60's and fancy dress dinner dances
)
59 years together but the disentangling has highlighted both Margaret and Harry as people, we're both happy about that.
Strange that *these three*...my Mam, Margaret and Harry...are not here.
I miss them but I'd rather have me lungs pulled through me nostrils than have them back as it was...for their endings.
But I miss them.
Always will.
As I said...strange.
Stranger still that Peter and I have inherited a 3 bedroom bungalow with a garden as big as our Town Park and a massive amount of money.
Margaret said to me, during one of the traumatic events of this year "Gwen, when this is all over you'll have a wonderful surprise".
Shock would be nearer the mark, Margaret!
So next year means moving on...giving up my council house tennacy...how very strange!?!
We've also inherited enough toothbrushes, writing pads, fur coats (!) dish clothes and pale cream sherry etc. to last a lifetime.
Marching forward into the New Year.
Best Wishes to all of you for a peaceful 2017 and courage to all who still battle.
Ow feed her sane :
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I may be back Mike, but at the moment the memories are too raw and there has been too much stolen by dementia and fraility.
After so much time of chasing scary shadows I feel an overwhelming need to open the curtains and let in the sunlight.
I'm sure you, who rage with such admirable passion, against the dying of the light, will approve... best wishes my friend and a gentle kiss to Mrs. Gringo.
"Shut hold dark wait hence bee four got,
hand never braw tomb hind,
shut hold dark wait hence bee four got,
Hand daze offal angst iron."
Happy New Year. X