Hi! A little bit of background:
My Mum is 58 and has a long history of bipolar, epilepsy and historic alcohol abuse (sober for 2 years). Over past couple of years her memory has clearly been deteriorating and it is likely she has Korsakoffs (alcohol induced dementia) but this never seems to have been officially diagnosed, but GP, psychiatrist etc accept she has this. She has had several hospital admissions this year for fitting and this seems to have lead to a much sharper decline in her memory and I wonder if she may have also developed another form of dementia. This leads us to this week...
Her neighbour called me yesterday to say that in the past week:
She is being increasingly aggressive - has gone round asking them to e.g. go to shop for her and then shutting, swearing, banging etc when they have declined (because they'd already got some bit for her!) She has accused the male neighbour of assaulting her - not true! They have young children and have said they no longer feel safe having mum come to their house when the children are there. Mum has never been an angry or aggressive person, so this is a huge change.
Has had paramedics out at least 3 times (she has a carline button for epilepsy)
Has been withdrawing HUNDREDS of pounds from her bank account and then going to local post office to aggressively accuse them of stealing from her. I have no idea where this money is going but she is serious debt. I had previously set up a limited account for her but clearly she has not been using this.
They've heard her shouting and swearing through the wall - possibly on the phone or talking to herself
She has burns from where she has dropped cigarettes and apparently has singed her hair somehow
Phoning various family friends multiple times per day to ask them to take her to shop, get cash for her, buy her things
The Dr has been out to her (as she refused to go to surgery) and has said 'her mind is shot to pieces'. She would not go voluntarily to hospital and he said he wouldn't section her - though I wonder how much worse she has to get to be forced into hospital?! Paramedics asked for a home safety assessment as she is not coping in a 2 storey house, not sure if this has happened.
I am her next of kin and only family member in this country but live over 4 hours away. We also have a very strained relationship as my childhood growing up with her wasn't exactly rosy! I feel completely overwhelmed - my own mental health is fairly fragile - and I have no idea what to do next. She cannot come and live with me and I cannot afford to fund care for her. She owns half of her house, other half is in my name (and has been for many years).
Can anyone please give me some step by step suggestions of what I should be doing? I spoke to her GP on Friday evening - he is going to re-refer her to social services. I spoke to emergency social service number, they are going to start a referral on Monday. I composed an email highlighting the clear safeguarding issues and sent to local mental health team, social services, memory clinic etc - although obviously no-one will see this until Monday.
It is clear she can't continue to live alone but I don't know what the next step is. Thank you in advance for any advice or hand holding you can give!
My Mum is 58 and has a long history of bipolar, epilepsy and historic alcohol abuse (sober for 2 years). Over past couple of years her memory has clearly been deteriorating and it is likely she has Korsakoffs (alcohol induced dementia) but this never seems to have been officially diagnosed, but GP, psychiatrist etc accept she has this. She has had several hospital admissions this year for fitting and this seems to have lead to a much sharper decline in her memory and I wonder if she may have also developed another form of dementia. This leads us to this week...
Her neighbour called me yesterday to say that in the past week:
She is being increasingly aggressive - has gone round asking them to e.g. go to shop for her and then shutting, swearing, banging etc when they have declined (because they'd already got some bit for her!) She has accused the male neighbour of assaulting her - not true! They have young children and have said they no longer feel safe having mum come to their house when the children are there. Mum has never been an angry or aggressive person, so this is a huge change.
Has had paramedics out at least 3 times (she has a carline button for epilepsy)
Has been withdrawing HUNDREDS of pounds from her bank account and then going to local post office to aggressively accuse them of stealing from her. I have no idea where this money is going but she is serious debt. I had previously set up a limited account for her but clearly she has not been using this.
They've heard her shouting and swearing through the wall - possibly on the phone or talking to herself
She has burns from where she has dropped cigarettes and apparently has singed her hair somehow
Phoning various family friends multiple times per day to ask them to take her to shop, get cash for her, buy her things
The Dr has been out to her (as she refused to go to surgery) and has said 'her mind is shot to pieces'. She would not go voluntarily to hospital and he said he wouldn't section her - though I wonder how much worse she has to get to be forced into hospital?! Paramedics asked for a home safety assessment as she is not coping in a 2 storey house, not sure if this has happened.
I am her next of kin and only family member in this country but live over 4 hours away. We also have a very strained relationship as my childhood growing up with her wasn't exactly rosy! I feel completely overwhelmed - my own mental health is fairly fragile - and I have no idea what to do next. She cannot come and live with me and I cannot afford to fund care for her. She owns half of her house, other half is in my name (and has been for many years).
Can anyone please give me some step by step suggestions of what I should be doing? I spoke to her GP on Friday evening - he is going to re-refer her to social services. I spoke to emergency social service number, they are going to start a referral on Monday. I composed an email highlighting the clear safeguarding issues and sent to local mental health team, social services, memory clinic etc - although obviously no-one will see this until Monday.
It is clear she can't continue to live alone but I don't know what the next step is. Thank you in advance for any advice or hand holding you can give!
Bit of an update.