We now seem to have reached a different phase. My OH has been getting increasingly agitated and is verbally abusive now if I dare say anything he doesn't like. It's either 'you've always got an answer, think you're always right etc etc' and that's generally just the answer to a question or he says why don't you look after me properly, you don't care, youre cruel, you're driving me mad and so on with increasingly abusive language. Reached a new height last week when after a minor incident he tried to throttle me, I was terrified, we were away at the time. I have so little support, who do I tell. I really feel I can't carry on like this but I know I have to. I'm always worried now going to bed and can't sleep. Pls tell me what you think. We're now almost into year 8. Will the professionals help or do I just have to get on with it.
Behaviour changing
- Thread starter fremington6
- Start date
Hello,
I would speak to your OH's GP/or the memory clinic if he is still under there care. My OH had spells of aggression and medication has helped a lot for him. He seems happier too, far more relaxed and able to enjoy actvities again.
You cannot live with a fear of being attacked and the medical professionals should help you. Also look at how social services can support you to give you a break. I agree call the police if you need to.
I would speak to your OH's GP/or the memory clinic if he is still under there care. My OH had spells of aggression and medication has helped a lot for him. He seems happier too, far more relaxed and able to enjoy actvities again.
You cannot live with a fear of being attacked and the medical professionals should help you. Also look at how social services can support you to give you a break. I agree call the police if you need to.
No you do not have to . You do not have to live in fear. That is the line which should not be crossed.
Please see your doctor and ask for help.
No, you don't have to carry on like this, nor should you.
As others have advised: tell your OH's GP/medical professionals what's happening. There could be medicinal help.
Tell your own GP about the threatened violence, abuse, fear, lack of sleep. Just because your OH has an illness doesn't make this acceptable.
Try to do this today.
Keep records of everything that happens.
Make sure you have a written list of emergency phone numbers on your person or in a safe place, the car etc. Have a mobile phone charged and to hand, maybe more than one. Make sure you know where the car keys etc are at all times in case you need to get out. Have a room you can lock yourself in with your phone, some water etc.
If he tries to throttle you or similar again CALL THE POLICE.
I'd like to echo what Grannie G says. Please get help now. There may be medication that can help. If he gets violent get yourself into a room with a lock on it and ring the police.
Could you sleep in separate rooms and put a lock on your door? You need to be safe
Could you sleep in separate rooms and put a lock on your door? You need to be safe
Thank you lovely friends. I know what I have to do, just need to pluck up the courage now as I feel so disloyal but I know you are right. Bless you all
Hugs Fremington.
You're not being disloyal at all.
You've had the courage to post on here about what's happening and how you're feeling. Please today speak to your GP and/or your OH's GP.
You're not alone, you have the support of everyone here on TP x
You're not being disloyal at all.
You've had the courage to post on here about what's happening and how you're feeling. Please today speak to your GP and/or your OH's GP.
You're not alone, you have the support of everyone here on TP x
If you've seen a sudden behaviour change, it could indicate something with the dementia, of course, but it could also be caused by an illness or infection (especially UTI, but also other types). It would be worth a phone call to the GP to get that checked out. Perhaps they would do a home visit, to spare you a trip.
I would definitely keep a written record of everything that happens and let the GP/memory clinic/consultant/SW/whomever, know.
I would tell your own GP, if it's not the same one as your husband's, as well, about what is happening.
I have read good advice here on TP to make sure you always have a charged cell phone on your person, and a room with a lock on the door where you can go to be safe and make a phone call if needed.
I've also read often on TP that the police, when they are told about the person's dementia, are considerate and helpful. They want to keep everyone safe.
I am sorry you feel disloyal and upset. But I don't think anywhere in the definition of loyal that it includes allowing yourself to be assaulted or frightened. Please do what you need to do, to keep yourself safe, and to feel safe.
I would definitely keep a written record of everything that happens and let the GP/memory clinic/consultant/SW/whomever, know.
I would tell your own GP, if it's not the same one as your husband's, as well, about what is happening.
I have read good advice here on TP to make sure you always have a charged cell phone on your person, and a room with a lock on the door where you can go to be safe and make a phone call if needed.
I've also read often on TP that the police, when they are told about the person's dementia, are considerate and helpful. They want to keep everyone safe.
I am sorry you feel disloyal and upset. But I don't think anywhere in the definition of loyal that it includes allowing yourself to be assaulted or frightened. Please do what you need to do, to keep yourself safe, and to feel safe.
