sorry just posting here as more people...
Nightmare because my Dad 79 has cognitive impairment, has never , and will never understand Alzheimers, compassionate communication, or will be able to visit freely without me or my sister there.
Dad was a big part of the decision to place Mum in care.
8 weeks later of Mum in care and it doesn't get any better.
He does not understand that like Mum, some of the other residents have Alzheimer's, or dementia caused by strokes, or other causes.
He jokes around, talks as if they all know what he's on about (broad Scottish accent) makes comments like " Are you all going home for the weekend"
Makes barking noises when he sees this elderly lady who wears slippers with like dogs face & ears, sneaks up on Mum and gives her a fright. ( has been told off by me & my sister)
Tells Mum that he does all the washing and cooking now, and then makes sarcastic remarks, and when is she going to cook him tea.
Today I took him up for Happy Hour as they have old time music, and dancing.
As long as Dad goes slow Mum will get up for a dance.... but today a faster song came on, he was spinning Mum around and she got the wobbles, and then sat down in a strop as she said he made a fool of her.
That got them arguing, so I tried my best to distract them both.
Then when it was time to go, Dad gets out his house keys and says Well I'm off then.
This of course set Mum off. We couldn't leave her, she wasn't staying etc.
Mum got quite agitated, and in turn he was saying things making her more so.
I had to basically order Dad through the security door, and to keep walking and not look back.
How on earth do I manage this for the next however long???
I think it really will come to the point where by its a quick 15mn visit, or he doesn't go at all. If Mums Alz does progress to next stage, he really won't fathom it in any case.
Otherwise, if me, my sister or brother visit individually it goes reasonably smoothly, no dramas at all, apart from Mum asking continually what Dad is doing, and then next minute saying she was going to visit Dave. ( He is 2 people to her)
Nightmare because my Dad 79 has cognitive impairment, has never , and will never understand Alzheimers, compassionate communication, or will be able to visit freely without me or my sister there.
Dad was a big part of the decision to place Mum in care.
8 weeks later of Mum in care and it doesn't get any better.
He does not understand that like Mum, some of the other residents have Alzheimer's, or dementia caused by strokes, or other causes.
He jokes around, talks as if they all know what he's on about (broad Scottish accent) makes comments like " Are you all going home for the weekend"
Makes barking noises when he sees this elderly lady who wears slippers with like dogs face & ears, sneaks up on Mum and gives her a fright. ( has been told off by me & my sister)
Tells Mum that he does all the washing and cooking now, and then makes sarcastic remarks, and when is she going to cook him tea.
Today I took him up for Happy Hour as they have old time music, and dancing.
As long as Dad goes slow Mum will get up for a dance.... but today a faster song came on, he was spinning Mum around and she got the wobbles, and then sat down in a strop as she said he made a fool of her.
That got them arguing, so I tried my best to distract them both.
Then when it was time to go, Dad gets out his house keys and says Well I'm off then.
This of course set Mum off. We couldn't leave her, she wasn't staying etc.
Mum got quite agitated, and in turn he was saying things making her more so.
I had to basically order Dad through the security door, and to keep walking and not look back.
How on earth do I manage this for the next however long???
I think it really will come to the point where by its a quick 15mn visit, or he doesn't go at all. If Mums Alz does progress to next stage, he really won't fathom it in any case.
Otherwise, if me, my sister or brother visit individually it goes reasonably smoothly, no dramas at all, apart from Mum asking continually what Dad is doing, and then next minute saying she was going to visit Dave. ( He is 2 people to her)