F-i-L back in hospital

[DMac]

I am posting this under 'middle-later stages' heading because I think F-i-L has made a step change. He was admitted back into hospital yesterday, following 'incidents' in the night. I don't know the full details, but apparently he got out of his bed unassisted, and somehow pulled out his indwelling catheter with the balloon still inflated. There was blood and mess. Carers came in found M-i-L (also with dementia) trying to clean up, and called my in-denial S-i-L (nominated next-of-kin), who went with him to A&E.

The latest is that he has been kept in overnight, and he is hooked up to an IV drip with antibiotics. I know he has a new UTI at the very least, and I hope the IV ABs will be kinder to him than the tablets he was taking, which seemed to be going right through him.

On top of that, my S-i-L has been copied in on a letter that says he has been assessed for CHC funding, but hasn't met the criteria. This I imagine came about following his hospital discharge last week. What CHC assessment? How did that happen? Why weren't family involved in that process?

So many questions, and still a lot of information to find out. My OH and I will be taking M-i-L to visit later today. Surely, in-denial SiL will see now that he is NOT SAFE at home any more?

 

[Izzy]

Oh DMac I'm so sorry to read of these developments. So very distressing for you all. I do hope the in denial SIL sees what must be obvious to everyone else.

 

[Kjn]

Oh I'm sorry Dmac , how difficult espeshially with sil that way, really hope she sees now X

 

[balloo]

I am posting this under 'middle-later stages' heading because I think F-i-L has made a step change. He was admitted back into hospital yesterday, following 'incidents' in the night. I don't know the full details, but apparently he got out of his bed unassisted, and somehow pulled out his indwelling catheter with the balloon still inflated. There was blood and mess. Carers came in found M-i-L (also with dementia) trying to clean up, and called my in-denial S-i-L (nominated next-of-kin), who went with him to A&E.

The latest is that he has been kept in overnight, and he is hooked up to an IV drip with antibiotics. I know he has a new UTI at the very least, and I hope the IV ABs will be kinder to him than the tablets he was taking, which seemed to be going right through him.

On top of that, my S-i-L has been copied in on a letter that says he has been assessed for CHC funding, but hasn't met the criteria. This I imagine came about following his hospital discharge last week. What CHC assessment? How did that happen? Why weren't family involved in that process?

So many questions, and still a lot of information to find out. My OH and I will be taking M-i-L to visit later today. Surely, in-denial SiL will see now that he is NOT SAFE at home any more?

our district nurse said my MIL would not pas CHC fund even thought she had been bed bound for 12 weeks not eating and as it turned out 4 days later she had died ,how does that work, how bad do you have to be ?

 

[canary]

Im sorry your FIL has gone onto the next stage DMac and its always worrying when they go into hospital. Lets hope its a wake-up call to your SIL.

All patients who are discharged from hospital are supposed to have a CHC assessment as part of their discharge protocol, but its only the checklist that is used (https://www.gov.uk/government/uploa..._data/file/213138/NHS-CHC-Checklist-FINAL.pdf) - and its only if the checklist identifies them as possibly eligible for CHC and needing a formal assessment, does the process go onto formal application of CHC, with everything that is entailed. You need to check, but I suspect that it has not got as far as a formal application.

 

[Amy in the US]

DMac, I'm sorry to hear your FIL is back in hospital. I know it's stressful and distressing for everyone.

The UTIs can be so pesky and persistent and recurrent and perhaps the IV meds will knock it out. I hope he will be get good care.

I can't comment on the CHC assessment but know you'll get good information from others here.

Like others, I hope this is some sort of eye-opener for the SIL and hope that whatever needs to happen to get the right care in place for both your parents-in-law, happens soon.

Hope you and your OH are coping as best you can right now, and please keep us updated if and when you feel up to it.

Buckets of good wishes.

 

[DMac]

DMac, I'm sorry to hear your FIL is back in hospital. I know it's stressful and distressing for everyone.

The UTIs can be so pesky and persistent and recurrent and perhaps the IV meds will knock it out. I hope he will be get good care.

I can't comment on the CHC assessment but know you'll get good information from others here.

Like others, I hope this is some sort of eye-opener for the SIL and hope that whatever needs to happen to get the right care in place for both your parents-in-law, happens soon.

Hope you and your OH are coping as best you can right now, and please keep us updated if and when you feel up to it.

Buckets of good wishes.

Thank you all for your good wishes. They are greatly appreciated.

Balloo, I'm sorry to hear about the passing of your MiL. I know you had some tough times looking after her. I hope you are OK now?

My OH and I took MiL to visit FiL in hospital today. He seems better now that he has been rehydrated and (I assume) completed his IV antibiotics. However he does seem very confused and incoherent. He did not understand that he needed to keep his arm straight to allow the drip to feed properly through the cannula, otherwise it triggered a bleeping machine right next to him (which he was blissfully unaware of), and stopped the flow! I had to hold his hand down for a long while to keep the flow going. He also tried to stand up and walk several times, not realising that he has no zimmer frame, is attached to a drip stand, and his catheter bag is secured to his bed! I think he is at the most dangerous stage now, mobile but completely unable to understand the risks around him.

OH and I will go again to the hospital tomorrow. I hope we will be able to find out a bit more then. Interestingly, MiL is now starting to say that she thinks he would be better off being cared for in a NH or CH. Poor lady, she really is at the end of her tether with him. My OH and one of his brothers are already convinced. I hope the other 2 siblings come round to the idea soon, for her sake. I will keep you posted with developments.

 

[DMac]

Developments

F-i-L is still in hospital, expected to be discharged by the end of this week. He looks and seems better now, thankfully. One worrying incident occurred today, though. Apparently, he stood up and walked unassisted a few steps away from his bed - but his catheter bag was attached to the bed! So he yanked on his catheter again, but this time I'm told he did not pull it out, but he obviously dislodged it enough to cause himself an injury. There was a fair amount of blood dripping into his catheter bag. Bizarrely, he did not appear to be in pain with it. I queried this incident with the ward nurse, as to whether this would affect his discharge. She said no, he will still be discharged as planned.

Regarding the CHC assessment, Canary you were right, it was just the initial checklist that was completed. There were some inconsistencies and inaccuracies in the report ("family were invited", they say...liar liar pants on fire say I!). However, family don't seem interested in this process at the moment...perhaps it's just too much information to take in right now. I feel sure that events will overtake soon enough, and if he doesn't qualify now, he soon will.

I really cannot see a happy outcome to all of this. I can see him being discharged and then bouncing straight back into hospital again, when the next infection/ injury/ fall/ crisis happens. Social Services are involved, and a financial assessment has been applied for. OH and I are about to take a few days break in another city (planned some time ago). Just wishing for a magic wand to wave the whole situation away!!

 

[Amy in the US]

DMac, no pressure to post, just checking in to see if you have an update for us. If and when you have time and energy and the inclination to post, you know we are interested to hear from you.

Thinking of you,

amy

 

[DMac]

Just wishing for a magic wand to wave the whole situation away!!

They say, 'be careful what you wish for', don't they? My F-i-L passed away in the small hours this morning. Phone call from hospital. No more information at this stage. OH and I had been away for a few days, so had not seen him since Tuesday last week. Just feeling shocked right now.

 

[chick1962]

OhDMac I am so sorry to hear that . My thoughts are with you . Big hugs xxxx


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

 

[Cat27]

I'm so sorry. Thinking of you all xx

 

[Izzy]

I'm sorry to read of your loss. Sending my condolences.

 

[Quilty]

So sorry for your loss. Sending thoughts for youx

 

[Pickles53]

However hard the situation, it's always a shock when it ends abruptly. I focused on another line from your post, where you said that you could not see a happy outcome to your FIL's circumstances. Perhaps it would have been more distressing if he had suffered further, but there's always hope and it has been suddenly snatched away. Sending you my sympathy and wishing comfort and peace to your family.

 

[Shedrech]

My condolences DMac
so sorry for your loss - thinking of your OH and MIL
your FIL is now at peace, I hope there's comfort for you all in that

 

[jugglingmum]

Sorry to hear of your loss, such a shock even though he was ill and you were worried about 'what next' . You did your utmost to look after him.

 

[canary]

I am so sorry. That must have been a shock.
((((hugs)))))

 

[Amy in the US]

Oh, DMac, I am so sorry to hear your news. Please accept my condolences on the death of your father-in-law. What a terrible shock you have all had.

Please know we are thinking of you...

 

[cragmaid]

So sorry to hear your news. The speed of his passing is such a mixed blessing. Your Fil has been spared further suffering but you have been robbed of your final chance to talk and to say goodbye.
Thinking of you with love and sympathy . Xx


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point