Lost my Mam.

[Sianey]

I haven't been on much recently, I have been reading threads though just to give me some help over the months.

I lost my Mam last Tuesday. I was with her when she died and I felt privileged to be there. Mam was in the care home ten months and one week, I wished we could of got to her first anniversary in the home but it wasn't meant to be.

I've had a right journey with my Mam which started a few years ago with a phone call late at night with hallucinations of army men being in her home. I never realised the things we both would of gone through would start that night.

Mam didn't know who I was in the end she knew my name and that I was a kind visitor who tidied her washing in her room and brought her endless chocolates and who painted and cut her nails.

I was never close to my Mam but she did become a lovely old lady who unlike when I was growing up wasn't embarrassed to hug and kiss me.

I miss her very much but I do know I did everything I could to help her.

Rest in peace Mam, see you one day.

X

 

[Cat27]

Oh Sainey I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you.

 

[Essie]

My sincerest condolences Sianey, glad you were able to be there when she passed. Good you have some nice memories of hugs and kisses with your mam and that she saw you as a kind person who helped her and cared for her.

Hugs to you Sianey at this sad time.

 

[canary]

Im so sorry for your loss, but Im glad you were with her at the end.
Take care of yourself now and I hope the good memories will comfort you
xx

 

[The Chewtor]

Sincere condolences Sianey. Glad you have found time to tell everyone here. it comforts me to hear that in the end you 2 had a new bond and that you were glad to be there for her at the end.

wayne

 

[LadyA]

Very sorry for your loss, Sianey. My husband was not quite 11 months in the nursing home when he died too, but like your mum, it was a happy time for him. Take care of yourself now.

 

[Sianey]

Sincere condolences Sianey. Glad you have found time to tell everyone here. it comforts me to hear that in the end you 2 had a new bond and that you were glad to be there for her at the end.

wayne

Thank you Chewtor, I felt I had to write on here that my Mam had gone as a closure really. So I won't be on the forum now, it helped when I was looking for answers regarding Mams dementia and how it affects everyone.

I never had a big bond with my Mam my Mam when I was growing up had difficulty showing you love and affection. I overcame this and helped her when I knew she needed help and I was her eyes and ears as well whilst she was poorly.

I have many funny things to remember one in particular was last summer in the care home when she thought I was her sister when they were young and Mam got in bed and told me Mam won't be pleased if I don't, (she meant her own Mam) I still giggle about that.

I feel sad I no longer have Mam and daughter relationship and that part of my life is no more as my Dad died 26 years ago.

The funeral is Thursday and I know it will be very hard. My good wishes to you as dementia is very hard on family.

Thank you to everyone for their wishes. X

 

[fizzie]

Sianey thank you for posting. Your post was so touching and it just showed me so clearly that what we all need at the end of our lives is kindness - how wonderful that you were the kind lady that your Mam loved so much xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thinking of you xx