I'm not sure if I should be writing this at all but I am so worried I don't know what to do. My husband is my only carer and he is a wonderful caring man. But he has insulin dependent diabetes, refuses to keep to any sort of diet, smokes 80 cigarettes a day. Had a heart attack last year and also has Aspergers syndrome. Last year he had a heart attack and discharged himself from hospital after tests had shown he needed a by pass because he had two partially blocked arteries. He is also worse with money than anyone I have ever met and I have always been the one who took care of the finances. At 76 I am still working partly because it is the most normal thing in my life and I love what I do but also because we are really need the money. OH hasn't worked for 20 year s and needs the whole of his small pension for cigarettes. I have been working all day and he said he would make supper- bacon egg and mushrooms which took him two hours. We are both totally exhausted. Carers are usually the exhausted strong ones but at the moment I feel I am doing more caring and having to be strong when I feel so much in need myself. I even feel guilty for writing this but had to tell someone