Thank you for all the support I have had on TP
I have contacted the Admiral Nurse helpline who have been very supportive
Also I have another carer for a second weeks respite and this has not gone well either
I am beginning to lose faith in the care system as my husband has deteriorated under her care he has become very challenging and very difficult
I am seriously considering long term care ina care home but this will be a very difficult decision to make
Has anyone any experience of a good care agency
Puss in Boots
Puss in Boots;1147695]I have been caring for my husband for the last 8 years and I cannot cope any longer. I have been suppressing things for a while but am at the end of my tether And I don't know where to turn.
I have tried a weeks respite with a live in carer and it didn't go well. I am now faced with three days with no one to help me and I just don't think I can manage. My husband is unable to sit still for a moment and is constantly agitated. He barely recognised me and he needs near constant reassurance and it is driving me potty. I live in the north west of England and don't know where to turn to get emergency help if only for an hour or two. Any recommendations or helplines to call greatly appreciated. I feel desperate and I just wish I could come up for air.
[/QUOTE]
Hello
I ve read the posts and even though I'm not a carer to a partner. .I'm my mum and dads carer..you can see that you've hit that brick wall. It's too wide to go round and your struggling to get over it. (I'm describing the situation no any person).
My folks won't accept help from anyone else and I got to the point where I was concerned I was running towards that wall. You wouldn't expect me to say I had a sister and a close family would you?
It's hard when you're tired and even though suggestions are being made its difficult to make sense of them all.
And they clearly cant feel the urgency that you're feeling.
The old saying about clearing the air..rings true. Things only change at crisis point . My theory is if I'm honest about my own crisis point where I say to those that can help me, what I need to look after my wellbeing and insist it's crisis point then hopefully someone will listen.
Services have an obligation to respond...We are all quick to criticise services..including me..but if they don't know what's happening how can they help?..I'd contact the duty team.
You've done an amazing job over the years I'm sure. You are only human and have been managing with a disease that keeps the most brilliant of clinicians on their toes.
Firstly give yourself the praise you deserve..then it's about accepting that no matter what action you take it always has your husbands needs at the heart of it.
Feels like the opposite ?
Emotionally even if he can't communicate his concern for you he's probably displaying it in other ways. There are symptoms of the disease that might happen or present themselves whether your husband is in respite or being cared by some one else while you have a break. You would still worry and be concerned bit no aware of the benefits to you at that time.
I sincerely hope that you get the support you deserve.
I send you best wishes and hope there's someone who could give you a cwtch. (A traditional warm Welsh hug)