Overcoming Grief

[jan.s]

Hi Lyn, thank you so much. In 2 days time I will have been without Roger for 3 months. I must admit that time has gone quickly, but I think now reality is dawning and I realise that my loss is permanent.

I accept that Roger has gone, with his dementia, but I have gone back in my mind to when we were here together and everything was good. I guess I just want that back and I know it's not going to happen.

I am fortunate to have caring friends who include me in many things, but I'm going through a phase of not wanting to do things, feeling safe at home! Just me and little dog! I guess my head is just a mess at the moment, but things will improve because I have to make them (and I will make them improve).

By the way, I am 63 and Roger was 66.

Thank you so much for caring when you too are fighting your own battle.

Love xx

 

[jan.s]

I've written so much here to you Jan and Lyn, and none of it is of any help to youat all as you both know how I feel, but I couldn't not respond at all.
So I'll just say that I'm thinking of you both and hoping that tomorrow will be a better day for you both.
loads of love xxx

Hi Saffie, I know we are all fighting the same battle and we shall win.

Each day just seems like a new hill to climb, but hopefully with time the hills will get smaller.

Yesterday I dug out a new bed in the garden and today I planted my rose for Roger; it's a beautiful red rose called Thinking of You.

Thank you for caring. Love xxx

 

[Saffie]

Yesterday I dug out a new bed in the garden and today I planted my rose for Roger; it's a beautiful red rose called Thinking of You.

Oh that's lovely Jan. What an appropriate name. I love roses. Does it have a scent? x

 

[Izzy]

How lovely Jan.


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point mobile app

 

[jan.s]

Yes it does. Its a beautiful rose, my other option was called Simply the Best, which was a vibrant orange. X

 

[Grannie G]

I hope you will post a photo of your Roger`s rose when it blooms Jan. A lovely name , Thinking of you.

I planted Indian Summer and Simply the Best for Dhiren. Paul has Indian Summer too.

I love the idea of something in our own gardens to focus on.

 

[Sasky]

I also bought a rose for my darling Mum. I had the rose named after her Marie Violet Lillian, and I planted it on what would have been her 83rd birthday in March. Already had lovely blooms

 

[Saffie]

That's beautiful Sasky.
I'd love to plant a rose garden for Dave, especially as I can no longer take roses to the churchyard as the deer eat the blooms but I have a number in my front garden and all the other borders are full with shrubs and perenials.
I've been trying to simplify the garden to make it more manageble but have some roses in pots too. I think I will try to make room somewhere though. Maybe discard the rockery and plant roses there.

Now the grandchildren are older I can risk roses in the back garden. When my children were young, a boy in our village died after falling into a rose bush on his 6th birthday. It affected all of us young mothers badly and I removed all the roses from our back garden.

 

[jan.s]

That is a beautiful rose Sasky.

Mine is similar. It has a bud just about to come out, so will take a photograph and post it when I can.

Indian Summer and Simply the Best are the perfect choice for Dhiren, Sylvia. I too like the idea pf having something in my garden to focus on.

It s the only rose I have in my garden so that makes it very special too.

I am feeling more positive today, having just come back from Aqua Aerobics.

 

[Lilian&Dave]

Just read through all the post on overcoming grief, having lost my husband of 53 years marriage just in May I feel all the emotions everyone of you is writing about and thought I would share with you a meeting I attended last week through our local Carers Group - What to Do After Caring. I found a group promoting courses Lets Talk organised by 2gether and very importantly free run by NHS. Names of courses range from Let's Talk Emotional Wellbeing: Low Mood: Stress and Anxiety: Mindfulness:Anger: Sleep: Panic: Low Self Esteem: Negative Thinking. You do not have to be referred by a doctor you can phone and book to go on the course yourself, if anyone wants the phone number message me and I will pass it on as they should by available nationwide and give an opportunity to talk to people in similar situations. Life is very hard trying to cope on your own after such a good life together, and really empathise with others wanting their loved ones back for a bit longer before dementia destroyed our lives

 

[Grannie G]

That is so helpful Lillian.

I haven`t heard of anything like this in our area but will try to find out.

Thank you.

 

[jan.s]

Thank you Lilian. I am sorry to hear about your loss.

I will look for the information locally, if not, I will certainly PM you. I'm up for anything that will help

Jan x