oh my where do i start?my dad has vascular dementia which after a fall a few weeks ago has deteireated rapidly,he is now in a small local hospital(another subject later on).I go down every day to sit with him for a couple of hours even though it breaks my heart to see my dad who was once this big strong man (ex puplican)waste away infront of me,as i know it calms him.He didn't give my mum the best life as he was a drinker(ex merchant sea-man)so he never kept a job for longer than five minutes until they eventually ran a pub.anyway to cut a long story short it's my mum who is cracking me up more than anyone,she has been in denial all her life about my dad and still is until now,i feel like she is playing the poor me card all the time,for example she was goin to the hospital at 11 and staying till 5 not cause she wants to,but for people+staff to be saying how wonderful she is and then ringing me+anyone else for that matter to say how she needs a break +how upsetting it is for her, and i just don't feel it if you know what i mean?I just feel like he's an inconveniance to her and she can't wait to get back to bingo.i've put the flowers in his room,photo's of all the kids+grankids i've asked for a telly for some background noise for him otherwise he would just be sitting there staring at four walls if she had her way.don't get me wrong i'm very close to my mum but if one more person asks me how my mum is i think i'll scream,yeh she's fine but my dad's not.my dad is meant to be having a peg put into his stomach as he's had cancer of the tonsils and cannot swallow, they have now asked us about resusitation which as a family are divided on,myself and my brother want him to have at least one chance but my mum+sister are saying let him go put him out of his misery,how can you say that when he's just been telling you he likes your shoes?anyway is it normal to be clashing like this?we really have got a complicated past as a family but are also very close at the same ime.any advice would be gratefull.