Hi
My mother has lived in my house for nearly 24 years, she will be 89 in a couple of weeks, she is easily confused and has many symptoms of dementia. She struggles with the stairs and I now have to decide what to do next. A stair lift cannot be fitted in my house.
I have a doctors appointment in the next few days as my own health is beginning to suffer as is my relationship with my husband.
I am just rather concerned about it all at the moment and wondered if anyone had any idea what will happen next.
Hi, Unfortunately, I am in the same situation. My mother and father was married for 57 years and dad died of Bone Cancer from Prostrate Cancer last June, aged 87. Mum and I cared for him for the 6 months he was ill and it was during this time we noticed mum's behaviour was strange. She couldn't understand I was married and needed to go home at times, I cared for Dad for 90 hours a week sometimes, and it was a great strain on my marriage, but I am an only child and my parents have done everything for me, and I am and were determined to have no guilt when they both die. When dad and I compared notes, it appears mum may have had Dementia for the last 2 years and since Dad has died, my life has got worse. I spend 40 hours a week with mum, but I insist on having weekends with my husband. He is unemployed so he moans that he is lonely, which is mums usually moan. I never know whether her being upset is related to her losing dad or the Dementia. She spends weekends with her sister who is 84, apart from that, we hardly have any family. I worry what is going to happen in the future, I feel stressed, have guilt for mum and my husband and I just can't see how I am going to manage mum on my own. We sometimes have her at home, but she feels my husband doesn't want her there, which is partly true, they have always been jealous of each other. When I got divorced in 2000 mum thought she had got her little girl back home and then I met Andy, so she has never been happy. My cousin says I should put my husband first, because I will need him when my mum goes, but I can't help feeling I should do everything for mum, but to what risk to my health, I am the backbone of our family, if I breakdown, I suppose there will be other options. It is so hard, any advice would be appreciated.