Hi I look after my wife who is in early stages but find there is not much support for carers and one thing I have read in several articles is the carer must make sure they look after themselves so they will still be able to take care when things worsen,This is easier said then done and I think a silly thing to say as you spend most of your time looking after loved one where are you supposed to find time to care for yourself .Carer support and someone to talk to is nearly non existant where I live,Sorry to sound so negative but I feel so strongly about this.
Carer support
- Thread starter plumbrite66
- Start date
Hi Plumbrite, I am sorry you feel as you do right now and I agree it is very difficult but I also think it is important that we do what we can to keep ourselves, as carers, as positive and well as we can. You say your wife is in the early stages. Can you still go out together? I think my husband is also in the early stages. We eat out, we go on holiday, we go away for a few days when we can. All these things make me feel better as well as him enjoying these things. He doesn't like me leaving him at all but he can cope with being left for short periods of time. While this is still possible, I go to the hairdressers every few weeks, I have reflexology every few weeks and I attend a keep fit class once a week. I'm just giving examples of things I do for me while I can. Can your wife be left at all? I appreciate things will become more difficult for us and carers on TP are coping with all sorts of circumstances but we can only deal with our situations one day at a time.
On a practical note, have you sorted out power of attorney, council tax and attendance allowance?
Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point mobile app
Last edited:
carers
Hi Good to hear from you,wife diagnosed about 2 years ago and yes she is preety good really just memory etc she does most things ,although I do most of cooking although she still can.Just got back from visiting son in Australia which I was worried about doing but it went okay although she does get lost away from home so had to help her finding bathroom etc.Yes ive sorted out all the legal stuff,Dont like leaving for to long but she is quite good and long may it continue like this ,I should be doing more to entertain myself and often have to much time on my hands,Would be nice to have more people nearby to chat with people in same position as really only have wifes best friend to confide in and shes great anyway life must go on.
I've no idea what it's like in NZ but there's precious little help here other than family and friends or paying for it. You do need some "you" time if not now then later when you're joined at the hip 24/7. Just keep doing everything you can together for as long as possible.
K
K
Yep , there's not much help here, oh been diagnosed 3 years ago and we get no help at all, apart from memory clinic every 6 month . While OH is mostly ok during the day, the nights are terrible ! He wakes up 4 to 5 times and by 3 am I give up sleeping it makes things harder when you are permanently tired!! Seen occupational health when first diagnosed and admiral nurse once too but nothing since. Hey ho I just take every day as it comes.
Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
Please speak to your GP or CPN if you have one. This constant getting up can be helped. I was at my wits end and the GP gave John Zopiclone 7.5 which makes him sleep for about 6 hours. He also has a low dose of Trazedone to reduce anxiety. These are the only drugs he takes.
He is not any more confused and tired during the day than he was before so it is worth trying. I could not have continued without some sleep.
YPlumbrite, I'm not sure if I have come across you before but I am from NZ also.
My Mum 73 has moderate Alzheimers and Dad has cognitive impairment.
Have you been assigned a Key Worker from Alzheimers Society? Key Worker is a great sounding board.
Have you had Needs Assesment done through your DHB?
I have attended a Carers Support group a couple of times, but it now clashes with my hours of work.
My employer gave me time off to attend a 4 week Carers course also.
I know how how hard it must be though, as to do all this you need someone to stay with your wife.
Through Alzheimers Society they can put you in touch with the right people to arrange a carer to stay with your wife if no other means through family or friends.
There is a cost I think, and this is where a Needs Assesment can be done to see if your wife qualifies, for you to be granted up to 28 days a year Carers Support payments which is approx $76 a day to help pay for these costs.
Your wife would also qualify for Disability Support payments ( are you retired? ) to help pay for extra medical costs, St John alarm etc.
In my case my parents live behind us in their own home.
Mum goes to an Alzheimers activity group 2 days a week, which we are lucky that the lady that takes it, picks Mum up and drops her off. Otherwise you are meant to find your own transport!
Dad gets several breaks from Mum, a week through Alzheimers group and myself.
My time out is when I'm at work, which I have recently cut back to 3 days.
Enliven, is another organisation which runs day care groups for people with health disabilities but in particular with early/moderate dementia. They also provide transport, but this has to be approved via your Needs Assesment Team. I am looking at this for Mum in the New Year, as she has no Alzheimers Acitivity group for 5 weeks as the co-ordinator is on holiday! Bizarre when you think about it. No one else to take it, and Mum needs something to go to as she gets agitated when cooped up at home too long.
If you do have family or friends that can help stay with your wife while you have some much needed time out, nows the time to call on their help.
Even more harder if you are in a rural area of NZ?
My Mum 73 has moderate Alzheimers and Dad has cognitive impairment.
Have you been assigned a Key Worker from Alzheimers Society? Key Worker is a great sounding board.
Have you had Needs Assesment done through your DHB?
I have attended a Carers Support group a couple of times, but it now clashes with my hours of work.
My employer gave me time off to attend a 4 week Carers course also.
I know how how hard it must be though, as to do all this you need someone to stay with your wife.
Through Alzheimers Society they can put you in touch with the right people to arrange a carer to stay with your wife if no other means through family or friends.
There is a cost I think, and this is where a Needs Assesment can be done to see if your wife qualifies, for you to be granted up to 28 days a year Carers Support payments which is approx $76 a day to help pay for these costs.
Your wife would also qualify for Disability Support payments ( are you retired? ) to help pay for extra medical costs, St John alarm etc.
In my case my parents live behind us in their own home.
Mum goes to an Alzheimers activity group 2 days a week, which we are lucky that the lady that takes it, picks Mum up and drops her off. Otherwise you are meant to find your own transport!
Dad gets several breaks from Mum, a week through Alzheimers group and myself.
My time out is when I'm at work, which I have recently cut back to 3 days.
Enliven, is another organisation which runs day care groups for people with health disabilities but in particular with early/moderate dementia. They also provide transport, but this has to be approved via your Needs Assesment Team. I am looking at this for Mum in the New Year, as she has no Alzheimers Acitivity group for 5 weeks as the co-ordinator is on holiday! Bizarre when you think about it. No one else to take it, and Mum needs something to go to as she gets agitated when cooped up at home too long.
If you do have family or friends that can help stay with your wife while you have some much needed time out, nows the time to call on their help.
Even more harder if you are in a rural area of NZ?
Last edited:
Recent Threads
-
My mum is getting worse and I don't know what to do!- Latest: northumbrian_k
-
-
-
-
-
