Self funding? Local authority funded? I don't understand!

[vernumamy]

I do agree with the first part but with the greatest respect I have to disagree with the second.

Thinking I was immaterial was a mistake I made 11 years ago when I first started caring for my Mom. I have only recently realised my mistake and there is nothing I can do now to rectify it.

If this forum was around 11 years ago I wish I had found it and maybe with the lessons learnt from others, and especially some from WILLIAMR, I wouldn't be finding myself homeless when Mom passes away. Homeless and with a great share of my savings gone because it never occurred to me that instead of spending my own money on her I should have used the little that Mom had or even opted to buy a share of her house so she would have had more. The care and love would not have changed but my situation would be different.

Mom has not wanted for anything nor will she in the future as I will continue to make sure of that but she would be devastated if she knew what was going to happen. Dementia does have its very minute advantages.

So I for one will continue to give advice on here to people that don't understand that by taking perfectly legal and morally right decisions before it is too late they could find themselves in a similar situation to mine. The state doesn't give a jot for those who become carers or what happens to them when their task is over. Many carers feel the same till the day comes when they have to think only of themselves for the first time in years and realise that there is not much of their own left as no account is taken of the time, effort and sacrifice that has been given.

And for those of you that think the advice is given to help squander loved ones money, to get "dibs" on any inheritance or for any other nefarious means should think long and hard before they press that "enter" key in future.

Some of the snide comments and innuendo on this thread have been very distasteful indeed.

Well put Pete R. 100% agree with you.

 

[WILLIAMR]

Hi Miggie

I'm so sorry to read that your Mum has recently passed away. This must be a very difficult time for you and your brothers. Take pride in having looked after your Mum in the very best way by finding the right care for her.

I hope you find the strength to get through this very difficult time

Love,

Lyn T X

Hi Lyn

As you know I have no blood relatives who have had dementia as far as I am aware and I have done little on the caring side.
I have really looked on the situations as an outsider looking after people's interest mainly financial.
In a way I was pleased when the son told the doctors not to intervene during his mother's final hours.
If surgery had happened my step mother may have lived for a few more weeks but she would have not had any life quality.

I think people should see my point but some may not agree with my thinking.

William

 

[vernumamy]

Unfortunately I think "anyone" still would.

This is the Legal and Financial Issues forum and in any walk of life, and even without the added stress of coping with Dementia, it will always be contentious. I prefer straight talking when it comes to both...........Others may not but I don't see the need for it to get personal.

Ditto.


.....and as for the comment regarding " moderators " above.



I was only thinking yesterday that some of these comments on here are getting a bit " personal, distasteful and offensive " towards WILLIAMR,

 

[Grannie G]

I`m going to close this Thread , which seems to be becoming very personal, to enable Moderators to have a good look at it and discuss.

 

[KatherineW]

I’ve re-opened this discussion, so that constructive contributions relating to the original topic can continue.

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