I agree with Oxy
I have been trying to think, leolady, of how you could possibly get some help.....and your children are one obvious source. Have you told them how bad it is? If they lead such great lives, that is down at least partly to the upbringing you gave them....and it sounds as though they could between them fund some support for you. Could you perhaps find out the cost of a home carer for say, 15 hours a week, and email them and ask them to fund this? Bearing in mind that you would be prepared for them not doing so....email them jointly, I'd say, so that if they have any conscience at all they are more likely to respond.
Then, there is the medical insurance. Alzheimer's is an illness so I wonder whether a discussion with the insurers / your GP might come up with something? (Sorry, I don't know how it would work).
Then, the Alzheimer's Soc SA has a helpline. Could you call them and tell them your plight? They may have support or ideas.
BR_ANA's idea of contacting the Dutch embassy seems a good one, too. Your mother is as I understand it a Dutch citizen who is in distress / difficulty abroad so they might assist.
Finally, what about personal contacts? These can be best of all. You did have a life, friends, interests, 'before Mum', as it were.....I wonder whether at least some of the people you knew then are facing the kind of problems you are now? Look through your contacts list....if even one person replies to you, that's more support than you have now. And who knows, it could be the start of a self help group!
I know all this must sound very glib, it's easy for me to say and very hard for you to do. But leolady, you have taken a first step by joining TP, and I really hope you find more support soon.
(((Hugs))) to you.
Lindy xx