Mum thinks there are two of me

Raggedrobin

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Jan 20, 2014
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i think I read on here somewhere about this syndrome. Mum thinks I have a twin, that basically there are two of me. Anyone else had this? I am finding it hard to explain where my twin gets to all the time.:D
 

Tin

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May 18, 2014
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UK
twins?

i think I read on here somewhere about this syndrome. Mum thinks I have a twin, that basically there are two of me. Anyone else had this? I am finding it hard to explain where my twin gets to all the time.:D

wow its the same here, one good one bad. I thought it was just a one off last week when we had a particularly hard time, but its continued and now there are 'two' brothers one works for the other and isn't very nice. she's always asking where has the other one gone. obviously its related to the dementia, I mentioned it to mums gp last week, he just thought it was funny.
 

CollegeGirl

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Jan 19, 2011
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North East England
My mam asks dad where her husband is and when he says he's her husband, she says 'Yes, well I know that, but where's my husband?'

It's so difficult to know what's going on in her head.
 

Raggedrobin

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Jan 20, 2014
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My mother sometimes calls my 'twin' or me by the name of my (long since dead) sister, so I wonder whether it is that she needs to feel my dead sister is there too on some level. or maybe I am reading too much into it.
 

stevie27

Registered User
Oct 9, 2013
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My mam thinks there are 2 of me



My mam thinks there are 2 of me, or she asks when will your dad be back, he died 4 years ago.But also she thinks the other person has the same name too, wheres the other steve she says, i try to ell her im steve but she just says no the other steve.Im just wondering if anyone else has this.?
My mam has vascular dementia and is in her 5th year, ive give up my flat and my job to look after her, im in my 40s and single and find it very hard at times.
Ive managed to talk her in to a day care centre for half a day but it starts tomorrow and she has been so reluctant to go, i just hope she doesnt change her mind.I could do with a few hours off, im sure there are plenty of people struggling out there and im so grateful to vent my frustration and heartbreak on here, thank you all for your time
 

2jays

Registered User
Jun 4, 2010
11,598
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West Midlands
My Mum often asks where her other husband is :( I think she is looking for the younger version of him xx

Ange

Mum "knows" me on the phone. I guess I have a young voice.

Mum doesn't always "know" me face to face. I'm far too old to be me....

Face to face.... In her eyes, therefore, I'm either, after a pause.....

A school friend,

Or

someone she feels very deeply for but doesn't know why, so has a guess....

Or

Maybe I'm her daughter, but obviously I've let myself go and look older than I should and should make more of an effort to look my age not an old woman....

Or

I'm her sister (mums an only child)

In her mind, this month, I know her younger daughter (me) is 20 and she is 48. She's told me this.

My sis and I are planning what to do for her 83rd birthday this year




Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
 
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lin1

Registered User
Jan 14, 2010
9,350
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East Kent
Mum "knows" me on the phone. I guess I have a young voice.

Mum doesn't always "know" me face to face. I'm far too old to be me....

Face to face.... In her eyes, therefore, I'm either, after a pause.....

A school friend,

Or

someone she feels very deeply for but doesn't know why, so has a guess....

Or

Maybe I'm her daughter, but obviously I've let myself go and look older than I should and should make more of an effort to look my age not an old woman....

Or

I'm her sister (mums an only child)

In her mind, this month, I know her younger daughter (me) is 20 and she is 48. She's told me this.

My sis and I are planning what to do for her 83rd birthday this year

Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

Sorry 2Jay's but this made me smile as it brought back memories .

Mum never thought I was one of her sisters, she had plenty.

She didn't believe I could be her daughter as she was far too young to be married let alone have a child. mum was in her 80s at the time :D

She believed their was two of me, the nice one and the nasty one who did things like take her to the loo, wash her etc.
 
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Ann Mac

Registered User
Oct 17, 2013
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i think I read on here somewhere about this syndrome. Mum thinks I have a twin, that basically there are two of me. Anyone else had this? I am finding it hard to explain where my twin gets to all the time.:D

When Mil does this (usually several times a day) we refer to it as her 'having an attack of the multiples' - just to give each other the heads up, as it is so confusing to deal with.

There are two of all of us. She will ask me what we are having for tea, I'll tell her. 10 minutes later, she'll ask again, and I'll tell her again and she will respond with "Oh - Ann told me she is making that too". If I say that I am Ann, she will often respond "Yes - but I mean the other Ann".

She'll ask where her Son, S, is - and I can point to him, or say he is in work, or the other room - "Not your S" she will say "I mean MY S".

She was telling my oldest daughter the other day about how she has a niece who is 'the dead spit' of my daughter - same name, lives at the same address, and has just finished uni - just like my daughter.

She says she wants to go back to the 'Other Ann and S', insisting that is who she 'stays with' - in the house that looks just like this one, same pictures on the wall, same TV, same furniture - they even have the same dog, with the same name, as ours. She talks about her sons wife, Ann, who looks like me - that Ann, interestingly enough, often has a 'wee babby' - when I ask her who I am, she thinks I am Ann, her friend or Ann, her landlady. She'll talk about her 2 nieces and her nephew, who have the same names, are the same ages and look just like my 3 children - but will be adamant that their Dad is one of the legion of Irish nephews, or even the children of a relative that we have never heard of. Occasionally, she will tell me how she hated staying with the other man and woman, called Ann and S, in the house that looks like this one, because they are not as nice as we are. She'll also tell me it was good of me and S to take her in, because her son and his wife only live at xxxxx (and she will give our address) and 'They never come near' her.

She'll tell me about her son, S - and at the same time be convinced that the S who is in the same room is her husband or boyfriend! That one can be tricky, as she will often ask him if he is coming to bed, when she decides to go up!!!

Its so confusing to deal with, as who we are, in relation to her, can change several times during the course of a 2 minute conversation, as can which of us she believes she is talking to. Keeping up with her 'beliefs' at any given second is so hard, and we can end up inadvertently causing the poor thing even more confusion :(
 

elizabet

Registered User
Mar 26, 2013
224
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Southampton
My Mum kept asking when her brother was coming to see her -he's been dead for almost 18 years- also saying she had not seen her parents .I remained her daughter most days but when she had an infection she thought I was a paid carer and was asking if I liked my job and did I have any children. It is so frustrating how this disease tangles up a person's brain.
 

Torontonian

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Jan 29, 2014
57
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Toronto, Ontario CANADA
Yep, same here... my mom thinks there is another one of me... she also thinks she has two sons... yesterday she said one of them called but didn't remember which one of them.

as to looking for relatives, she is always looking for her mother... as of late, this morning just before I left for work she said "where is my mother, I haven't seen her lately" I said, she doesn't live here... see we have two bedrooms and one bed in each room...

She is usally looking for people when she either just wakes up in the morning or wakes up from a nap...

I always say, they are not here, maybe gone to church or work or staying somewhere else as she will ask a couple of times and then go onto something else..

even though we spoke today when she woke up, she said bye to me and said to go to walk when I come back later but when I go home later, she'll say the other woman was there this morning..

so this goes on and on. Most of the times, we can distract but about 10 days ago, we had a crying for mother, the mother-in-law, then the sister.. as she said, they are dead and I didn't tell her..
 

caring a

Registered User
Mar 1, 2014
132
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i have simular,,but mum thinks many times im somebody else altogether:(
she says sometimes ,do you know where ........ is,thats me,,,,,i used to reason with her,,now after you good people advised i just say shops or playing,,she thinks im still boy:).....she sometimes says hows your mother going on,,,,that so hurts me,,,as i yhink,,god im losing her faster than i think,,,,im becoming a friend and losing a mum:confused::confused:,,then i can go out n come back in,,,and whoppp,,her sons back:D,,

so very upsetting,,

xxx to you all
 

Sue J

Registered User
Dec 9, 2009
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i think I read on here somewhere about this syndrome. Mum thinks I have a twin, that basically there are two of me. Anyone else had this? I am finding it hard to explain where my twin gets to all the time.:D

I bet you wish there were two of you sometimes;):D
 

Raggedrobin

Registered User
Jan 20, 2014
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:D:D:D
Surprising how common it is. Mum seems to vary who she thinks I am, but I don't mind who it is, just so long as I remain familiar to her and it puts a smile on her face when I go in to see her.
I was late in today, not that she would know, so I said 'sorry mum, I'm a bit late' which was a bit silly but she doesn't miss a trick 'yes you are late' she said frowning, in that way she would have ticked me off in the past.:D
 

Vesnina

Registered User
Aug 25, 2013
179
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my mom - sometimes - believes there are three or more of me

all of them//us have the same name etc...
when I try to reason, I ask how could she give the same name to several children...
this makes sense, she stops and thinks...

or I insist on being one same daughter...
tell some details about me... and she says, the same with my daughter...

the maximum was 5, or "who could count all of you..."

sometimes there is the main one, and then second one etc...
I believe that my changing of strength level and voice she experiences as change of person...


but when she is fine, than I am one.
 

Raggedrobin

Registered User
Jan 20, 2014
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Today. Mum said 'would you STOP calling me 'Mum' please! She said she wanted to be called by her name. Turns out, she's not my mum.:rolleyes::D
 

Liz57

Registered User
Dec 22, 2013
184
0
This is very common as my mum does the same. Today she asked where the "other chap who came on holiday with us" was. I assumed she meant my son but she was adament it wasn't him. "You know", she said, "that nice chap who comes in and has a cup of tea with me often". there is nobody who does that as my son lives a hour's drive away and we only see him occasionally. If I didn't know better, I'd swear she had a fancy man!;)
 

Katrine

Registered User
Jan 20, 2011
2,837
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England
We have a family story about my great-grandmother who when she was a girl went one evening to visit her old grannie. Said grannie lived in Burnham, Somerset, but was born in Scotland of an old Highland family, and was believed therefore to have 'the sight'. As the young girl approached the house she met a man who was just leaving. He tipped his hat to her, but did not speak. When she got inside she asked her grannie who was the man she had just seen leaving. "Oh" says grannie "that's my husband. He often comes to visit me around this time." She was widowed in her early 20's and brought up her family as a single parent.

We always thought this was a charming ghost story. A few years ago I obtained this Highland grannie's death certificate. Cause of death was the Victorian equivalent of 'dementia'. Sadly I realized that there was a simpler and less fanciful explanation for the sighting. He was probably just the grocer calling about her bill. :D
 

caring a

Registered User
Mar 1, 2014
132
0
This is very common as my mum does the same. Today she asked where the "other chap who came on holiday with us" was. I assumed she meant my son but she was adament it wasn't him. "You know", she said, "that nice chap who comes in and has a cup of tea with me often". there is nobody who does that as my son lives a hour's drive away and we only see him occasionally. If I didn't know better, I'd swear she had a fancy man!;)
just same as my mum,she many times thinks im somebody else not her son:eek:
just at minute,,its wheres my handbag,,,,i bring it but she says when they come back they might pinch it:eek:
there is no they,,but im sure she thinks we live in somebody elses home,,
i turn a deaf ear nowadays though,,,,no pint reasoning with her,,and after a while it passes,,,,but its so wearing,,i do get to feel tierd at times