Saw mum yesterday, visits have been so awful in care home with mum becoming hysterical, matron suggested we meet in a cafe. Mum was crying when got there, wanted me to take her home, can't understand why she is there despite so many explanations. Got angry banging fist on table. I don't think mum will settle she is so strong willed, always fighting for what she wants. Antidepressants and actively. Apparently can be relatively settled in care home at times, staff take mum out daily, they do try hard. Visits so difficult, think it makes mum feel worse. Such an awful situation, illness. I need to keep thinking to myself that mum was this upset at home too, confused and unsafe.