I posted a while ago on here but have been very poorly myself (i have Fibromyalgia and also ME.
My dear father who is now 84 has had Vascular Dementia and many other serious health problems for over 15 years or so now and has declined very fast since Christmas.
He goes into respite every 4 weeks for a week and also two days at at day care centre to give mum a very much needed break.
My mum is now very poorly herself with high blood pressure and also Crohns disease and also COPD and is finding it so hard now to manage dad but will not under any circumstance let dad go into permanant care. The time is coming when we all have to make that decision as i can't care for either of them and have no-one else to help either.
What i an trying to say is when do you make that decision with a parent that they need full time care as the guilt is too much to bare for both mum and myself.
Dad also keeps saying "please dont put me away and sits crying". Mum can't do that to him and it would break her heart to do this.
However i know that mum is the one that something is going to happen to shortly as she can't go on much longer.
I can't bare the thought of them being seperated either.
They are also in a warden controlled flat which is upstairs and mum can hardly walk up them now let alone get dad down the stairs etc.
Mum has another lady from social services coming to see her this Thursday and if my health allows i want to be there too.
Social services are trying to cut dads respite again and we are sick and fed up of appealing and getting nowhere. The stress of all this is making the whole family so ill and tearing us all apart.
I am sat with tears streaming down my face writing this as just don't know what to do for the best.
Thanks for reading Julie x
My dear father who is now 84 has had Vascular Dementia and many other serious health problems for over 15 years or so now and has declined very fast since Christmas.
He goes into respite every 4 weeks for a week and also two days at at day care centre to give mum a very much needed break.
My mum is now very poorly herself with high blood pressure and also Crohns disease and also COPD and is finding it so hard now to manage dad but will not under any circumstance let dad go into permanant care. The time is coming when we all have to make that decision as i can't care for either of them and have no-one else to help either.
What i an trying to say is when do you make that decision with a parent that they need full time care as the guilt is too much to bare for both mum and myself.
Dad also keeps saying "please dont put me away and sits crying". Mum can't do that to him and it would break her heart to do this.
However i know that mum is the one that something is going to happen to shortly as she can't go on much longer.
I can't bare the thought of them being seperated either.
They are also in a warden controlled flat which is upstairs and mum can hardly walk up them now let alone get dad down the stairs etc.
Mum has another lady from social services coming to see her this Thursday and if my health allows i want to be there too.
Social services are trying to cut dads respite again and we are sick and fed up of appealing and getting nowhere. The stress of all this is making the whole family so ill and tearing us all apart.
I am sat with tears streaming down my face writing this as just don't know what to do for the best.
Thanks for reading Julie x