I got up facing the possibility of a lonely isolated day. After doing my usual routine , writing, prayer and meditation. Then I decided, I must find something to entertain us on a cold wintry wet day. Walking my Nicky's favorite passtime was out of the question for me. So, I dressed him up in Sunday best and headed into town. He looks so nice cleaned up in his good clothes. We walked to the train station and took a train into the city (only about a 6 minutes trip) We headed to the Kunstmuseum for an exhibition on the 1000 years of Munster (the cathedral) very interesting, beautiful old books and ornaments and alters from the old Munster when it was a Catholic church before the reformation. There was more of the exhibition at the Historical Museum, but we did not get there. One museum was enough for Nick.
Bless him, it was as usual, very difficult for him when he is in a busy environment. When there are other people in the room he follows them. He cannot find my face. I really need to get one of those little bracelet things so he is attached to me. I do find I get irritated that he cannot even find me when we are standing side by side, and his anxiety is palatable. I reassure him and take his hand....again and move on. It is also sad as he has absolutely no interest in trying to understand where we are and what we are seeing. But I bring him along.....trying to keep him in someway a part of my life.
We dropped in to see our youngest son who works at Starbucks.
Then we wanted to go to the Walliser Kanne Restaurant for fondue as it was very cold and trying to snow. But it was closed so we went to the Braunen Mutz, in the center of town. It is cozy old style Swiss restaurant, and warm and lovely on a cold day. Nick enjoyed a hot Glüh Wii (spiced wine) With my help, Nick enjoyed the local fish and salted potatoes with a tartar and I had a lovely onion soup with crusty bread in it and bubbly cheese on top. It is a good restaurant for us , not posh, lots of old timers reading their newspapers and enjoying being together without even knowing each other. .
Then we took a tram home from the city, as it takes more time. And we enjoy passing thru the little villages slowly.
Passing our days ......which can be lonely. I cannot expect to see my children all the time. Or for that matter even my friends. They have their own lives....and I just do my best to keep going and part of the stream of life. I am grateful that I can still get Nicky to go with me....I keep trying. I get up each day, determined to live and love, I give him a loving hug even when I do not feel like it and a kiss. I write this down daily, I remind myself to start the day with a hug and kiss. He desires love...and he is still a lovely man.
Selfishly, I will not be taking him to Thanksgiving with our old friends, I find the attention required to be with him in such an environment, means I get no pleasure.
This year he will miss that tradition for the first time. But Christmas will be at our house with just our immediate family, that will be ok for him because he will be able to escape into the den or the bedroom if he feels overwhelmed. We do what we can.
Bless him, it was as usual, very difficult for him when he is in a busy environment. When there are other people in the room he follows them. He cannot find my face. I really need to get one of those little bracelet things so he is attached to me. I do find I get irritated that he cannot even find me when we are standing side by side, and his anxiety is palatable. I reassure him and take his hand....again and move on. It is also sad as he has absolutely no interest in trying to understand where we are and what we are seeing. But I bring him along.....trying to keep him in someway a part of my life.
We dropped in to see our youngest son who works at Starbucks.
Then we wanted to go to the Walliser Kanne Restaurant for fondue as it was very cold and trying to snow. But it was closed so we went to the Braunen Mutz, in the center of town. It is cozy old style Swiss restaurant, and warm and lovely on a cold day. Nick enjoyed a hot Glüh Wii (spiced wine) With my help, Nick enjoyed the local fish and salted potatoes with a tartar and I had a lovely onion soup with crusty bread in it and bubbly cheese on top. It is a good restaurant for us , not posh, lots of old timers reading their newspapers and enjoying being together without even knowing each other. .
Then we took a tram home from the city, as it takes more time. And we enjoy passing thru the little villages slowly.
Passing our days ......which can be lonely. I cannot expect to see my children all the time. Or for that matter even my friends. They have their own lives....and I just do my best to keep going and part of the stream of life. I am grateful that I can still get Nicky to go with me....I keep trying. I get up each day, determined to live and love, I give him a loving hug even when I do not feel like it and a kiss. I write this down daily, I remind myself to start the day with a hug and kiss. He desires love...and he is still a lovely man.
Selfishly, I will not be taking him to Thanksgiving with our old friends, I find the attention required to be with him in such an environment, means I get no pleasure.
This year he will miss that tradition for the first time. But Christmas will be at our house with just our immediate family, that will be ok for him because he will be able to escape into the den or the bedroom if he feels overwhelmed. We do what we can.