Hi All
My Dad was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia after an overdoes in August. We have been through a lot since then (as most of us have)
He was held on a section 3 at one hospital, then moved to a care home which he kept trying to escape leading to a number of falls. ne of which put him back into hospital with an additional bleed on the brain. He has two weeks of near catatonia where mum was literally feeding him with a syringe to keep him nourished. Out of the blue he woke up one morning back to normal (well post diagnosis normal) he was talking, eating solids and asking where his car was.
He was moved to a nursing home as the care home was not equipped to look after him anymore. He has been there approx. 3 weeks and the home is lovely, the girls are great and now dad is in his more coherent state the problems have started again.
He is asking when he can come home, he is accusing mum of being out with other men, asking her where she is every night as she doesn't come to bed. We have explained that she doesn't live there, that he needs care that she cannot give etc but as expected by the next day it starts again.
The home manager called to say that he is asking to leave every day so they have to apply for a DOL to keep him locked in. No problem as far as we are concerned. But then Mum spoke to the social working assessing him and she told her that if they do not agree the DOL he could be given leave to go out when he wants or could come home. Post assessment she has said he is borderline so has to be assessed by a doctor.
Panic has set in for my mum because quite frankly she doesn't want him home. She cannot care for him at home, they live on the outskirts of a village on a busy B road, she doesn't drive and they are very isolated. To get to the local shop would take her over an hour and the doctors is a 2 hour round trip. If he walked out the front door he would be five feet from a major road and if the home cannot get a DOL for him, there is no way they can then give it to her so she can lock him in.
He can go days without sleeping more than an hour or so at a time so there is no way she would be able to sleep at night. She is 74 so the stress of looking after him is likely to kill her before him.
Does anyone have any experience in what happens if DOLs are not given? Will they send him home if he asks to go home? What about Mum's best interest? Any advice will be most welcome.
Thank you
Petra x
My Dad was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia after an overdoes in August. We have been through a lot since then (as most of us have)
He was held on a section 3 at one hospital, then moved to a care home which he kept trying to escape leading to a number of falls. ne of which put him back into hospital with an additional bleed on the brain. He has two weeks of near catatonia where mum was literally feeding him with a syringe to keep him nourished. Out of the blue he woke up one morning back to normal (well post diagnosis normal) he was talking, eating solids and asking where his car was.
He was moved to a nursing home as the care home was not equipped to look after him anymore. He has been there approx. 3 weeks and the home is lovely, the girls are great and now dad is in his more coherent state the problems have started again.
He is asking when he can come home, he is accusing mum of being out with other men, asking her where she is every night as she doesn't come to bed. We have explained that she doesn't live there, that he needs care that she cannot give etc but as expected by the next day it starts again.
The home manager called to say that he is asking to leave every day so they have to apply for a DOL to keep him locked in. No problem as far as we are concerned. But then Mum spoke to the social working assessing him and she told her that if they do not agree the DOL he could be given leave to go out when he wants or could come home. Post assessment she has said he is borderline so has to be assessed by a doctor.
Panic has set in for my mum because quite frankly she doesn't want him home. She cannot care for him at home, they live on the outskirts of a village on a busy B road, she doesn't drive and they are very isolated. To get to the local shop would take her over an hour and the doctors is a 2 hour round trip. If he walked out the front door he would be five feet from a major road and if the home cannot get a DOL for him, there is no way they can then give it to her so she can lock him in.
He can go days without sleeping more than an hour or so at a time so there is no way she would be able to sleep at night. She is 74 so the stress of looking after him is likely to kill her before him.
Does anyone have any experience in what happens if DOLs are not given? Will they send him home if he asks to go home? What about Mum's best interest? Any advice will be most welcome.
Thank you
Petra x