hello
@emmags
a warm welcome to TP
I'm sorry to read that your dad is in hospital and of the recent diagnosis
also that Adult Services don't seem to have fully explained themselves - always feel free to question anything that is said to you - indeed, ask for a face to face discussion if possible, ask for anything that's said to be put in writing and sent in a letter or e-mail, and definitely get an e-mail address to contact them so if they don't write, you can send them what you remember as being said, so there is a paper trail to refer back to
Beate gives you sound info - they will be wanting to discharge your dad if there is no medical reason to keep him in hospital - be sure that a care package that YOU think is sufficient is put in place before this discharge happens
it is concerning me that they used the words 'self sufficient' - I hope that wasn't suggesting that your dad can fully look after himself
maybe sit down and write out all the things you think your dad will have trouble doing for himself eg go through the day and note down anything that is a concern to you - can he get himself up, toileted, washed/showered, dressed, breakfasted, take any pills .... get drinks (not alcohol) ...make lunch .... make tea .. have some exercise ... be safe going out and about ... toilet himself during the day ... stay warm ... get himself about the house safely ... answer the phone ...remember to go to bed ,,, change his clothes and wash them .... stay in bed to sleep over the night ... - in other words, think of all the things we take for granted that we can do; what difficulties on a BAD day does your dad have doing those - and factor in any problems with the alcohol - is it possible to sneakily change what he drinks and put low alcohol/non-alcoholic versions in the bottles instead?
also make your mum's position clear ie that your dad is effectively going back to a house where he fends for himself as you mum is not fit enough to be his carer and will not be providing any care at all (this isn't harsh or unsympathetic, it's being realistic) otherwise it will be assumed that she will be his carer
if you feel that your dad isn't able to be at home safely, push for a discharge to an assessment entre/community hospital/respite so that he can be monitored and assessed - speak with the PALS at the hospital who may well be able to help you - and ask to talk to the Admiral Nurse in the area - a link here
https://www.dementiauk.org/get-support/admiral-nursing/
there's also the AS Helpline
0300 222 1122
now you've found TP, do keep posting with any questions you have as the members here are generous in sharing their experiences and offering support[/QUOT
Thank you both for your replies, Shedrech have thank you for the options for where he could be discharged too, think what is difficult is the unknown, we should be having a face to face meeting and they have been told there will be me, my brother and mum there. I spoke to my brother today after a call from my dad saying his car isn't working so if I need to go somewhere use mum's or mine. My brother is thinking some of the confusion he is suffering is jus from being in hospital and on about how he will be when he is back out but the first thing dad will do is have a drink. The hospital and alcohol nurse have even said rehab is not an option for him due to his memory.
Thank you again we have a long road ahead of us and I am sure there will be many more questions from me.