Hello everybody
This is more a rant than anything else as I cannot see how anyone else can help my family and I with this just sad situation.
Dad is in a home with Alzheimer's and has been since last September. Mum has Alzheimer's too and has been in hospital for 7 weeks. After waiting needlessly for a SS assessment and an assessment bed that has never materialised we are now looking for a nursing home for her. Mums mental condition is getting worse by the minute and the care in hospital is so up and down. I know the nurses are busy and the NHS is stretched but I've seen things a daughter really shouldn't have to see and I've cried myself the 1.5 hrs home many times.
The problem now is there are no nursing beds available in her area. We were told that by the SS and the hospital. My dad's care manager went to see mum and agreed that he could take her despite not actually being a nursing home(mum's borderline care/nursing) but he has no beds. The areas we are looking at are so much more expensive than where dad is as so too is nursing care. With all the will in the world our once dream of having mum and dad end their days together in the same care home are long past.Despite somehow saving money enough to be self funding with only a modest 2 bedroom bungalow to sell we have to be careful with costs. I am so angry that this is happening to them and us. I don't know who I'm angry with really, the State for making us pay in more ways than one when mum and dad have never called upon them for anything or even god for inflicting such a disease on them both. I feel guilty for trying to fathom out how long they will live to work out the finances and I feel stressed for trying to deal with it all.
I've looked at 8 nursing homes this week in the middle of juggling home life and work and so far only one had a room but it was too far away from dad, six didn't have rooms but did earlier in the week and the one remaining although could actually eventually cater for both mum and dad is ridiculously expensive. We claim all we know we can claim. Neither mum or dad can claim NHS CC as despite a list of ailments including heart and kidney disease the checklist for mum showed nothing as 'priority'.
So, its the start of the week and our quest goes on while mum stays put in the hospital. The chances are that after 55 years together dad may never be with mum again until the end. I'm sorry to rant I just had to voice this to those I know will understand!
This is more a rant than anything else as I cannot see how anyone else can help my family and I with this just sad situation.
Dad is in a home with Alzheimer's and has been since last September. Mum has Alzheimer's too and has been in hospital for 7 weeks. After waiting needlessly for a SS assessment and an assessment bed that has never materialised we are now looking for a nursing home for her. Mums mental condition is getting worse by the minute and the care in hospital is so up and down. I know the nurses are busy and the NHS is stretched but I've seen things a daughter really shouldn't have to see and I've cried myself the 1.5 hrs home many times.
The problem now is there are no nursing beds available in her area. We were told that by the SS and the hospital. My dad's care manager went to see mum and agreed that he could take her despite not actually being a nursing home(mum's borderline care/nursing) but he has no beds. The areas we are looking at are so much more expensive than where dad is as so too is nursing care. With all the will in the world our once dream of having mum and dad end their days together in the same care home are long past.Despite somehow saving money enough to be self funding with only a modest 2 bedroom bungalow to sell we have to be careful with costs. I am so angry that this is happening to them and us. I don't know who I'm angry with really, the State for making us pay in more ways than one when mum and dad have never called upon them for anything or even god for inflicting such a disease on them both. I feel guilty for trying to fathom out how long they will live to work out the finances and I feel stressed for trying to deal with it all.
I've looked at 8 nursing homes this week in the middle of juggling home life and work and so far only one had a room but it was too far away from dad, six didn't have rooms but did earlier in the week and the one remaining although could actually eventually cater for both mum and dad is ridiculously expensive. We claim all we know we can claim. Neither mum or dad can claim NHS CC as despite a list of ailments including heart and kidney disease the checklist for mum showed nothing as 'priority'.
So, its the start of the week and our quest goes on while mum stays put in the hospital. The chances are that after 55 years together dad may never be with mum again until the end. I'm sorry to rant I just had to voice this to those I know will understand!