I recognize my mother less and less every day. I think I am going crazy or am imagining things or just being argumentative with the one person who has always been there for me.
I feel like she is no longer there, like I’m mourning her while she's living. I feel like my whole life is out of control. She was my rock always been there with a kind word, sound advice, a strong shoulder.
Often she is angry with me, or says hurtful things. She thinks it is me who is angry and if I say I am not, she will not believe me. I measure my words so carefully, yet, still, she becomes angry and thinks I mean her harm. I am actually so confused about who is causing the problem that I took the test to determine if it is me that is not hearing or remembering correctly! She seems completely unaware that there is anything wrong. What makes all of this harder is that she does not have a firm diagnosis and I do not have POA so it is my sibling who has the information and whom I have tried to tell that I see these things and he disagrees with me and will not discuss it. I don't know why I am the only one to really see it. I do spend more time than the others do. Perhaps that is it?
She is also ill with heart disease which makes this whole thing even more complicated. She is 88 years old and very frail.
I almost feel guilty for "seeing" this possible dementia when others do not. In fact, I feel guilty for just about everything these days as I am so alone in these thoughts so I come here to this board to read and, now, to talk. If anyone can relate to my feelings, let me know. I hope this post is not too much of a rant. I have been reading your posts and see that my mother might be in the early stage of this disease. Short memory problems, some repetition, not understanding what I say when we talk and then, as she hears me differently, she becomes angry. Very hard to explain all of this. Some times, fewer now, she is "normal" and her old self again and THEN I think I am imagining it again. But, I know something is "off".
Thank you.
I feel like she is no longer there, like I’m mourning her while she's living. I feel like my whole life is out of control. She was my rock always been there with a kind word, sound advice, a strong shoulder.
Often she is angry with me, or says hurtful things. She thinks it is me who is angry and if I say I am not, she will not believe me. I measure my words so carefully, yet, still, she becomes angry and thinks I mean her harm. I am actually so confused about who is causing the problem that I took the test to determine if it is me that is not hearing or remembering correctly! She seems completely unaware that there is anything wrong. What makes all of this harder is that she does not have a firm diagnosis and I do not have POA so it is my sibling who has the information and whom I have tried to tell that I see these things and he disagrees with me and will not discuss it. I don't know why I am the only one to really see it. I do spend more time than the others do. Perhaps that is it?
She is also ill with heart disease which makes this whole thing even more complicated. She is 88 years old and very frail.
I almost feel guilty for "seeing" this possible dementia when others do not. In fact, I feel guilty for just about everything these days as I am so alone in these thoughts so I come here to this board to read and, now, to talk. If anyone can relate to my feelings, let me know. I hope this post is not too much of a rant. I have been reading your posts and see that my mother might be in the early stage of this disease. Short memory problems, some repetition, not understanding what I say when we talk and then, as she hears me differently, she becomes angry. Very hard to explain all of this. Some times, fewer now, she is "normal" and her old self again and THEN I think I am imagining it again. But, I know something is "off".
Thank you.