Hi all,
My mother in law has Alzheimer's and scored 15 on her MMSE a couple of weeks ago. (Although she was very angry about it, shouting, rising up in her seat, baring her teeth at the nurse etc, so I think if she'd been calmer she might perhaps have managed a couple more points.)
She lives alone, with help from my husband, my kids and me. She can still manage to take care of herself mostly. We do her shopping and handle all the bills, appointments, and forms and phone calls - the life admin. The house is reasonably clean but slipping, and she forgets to bath and wash her hair a lot. She has accidents both front and back and this is being investigated by the GP.
She mostly only goes to the local shops 500 yards away. She draws out £80 in cash once a week and buys bread and biscuits a couple of times a week. (We get them in the weekly shopping too, but she eats a lot of bread and biscuits.)
We have made noises to her about maybe drawing out less money since she can't be spending more than £10 or £20 a week on bread and biscuits, but she can't process that idea. She doesn't have much money hidden in the house. We've searched and only found about £150. So where is all the cash going? We bought her a new Hoover the other day. (She keeps killing hoovers - any ideas?) she didn't have the £60 to give us and sometimes she doesn't have the money to pay us for the £15-20 shopping on Wednesday night even though she drew out £80 as usual on Monday morning.
She pays a window cleaner £10 once a month...and sends money to various charities, and also sends money in birthday cards, but she has barely left the house for seven or eight months after a fall and the wee/poo accidents damaged her confidence, so where's the rest of it? My husband thinks she should have about £50 a week left over which would add up considerably over 30 or more weeks.
We were quite worried that somebody unscrupulous was preying on her somehow.
However, I have been out with her a few times lately. And seen how she handles money. (Usually we only really take her out for tea and cake and we do all the paying.)
In Boots last week she needed contact lense solutions which came to £11.58 (After we had finally worked out that the reason that we had to keep getting her new contact lenses was that she wasn't cleaning them, but that's a whole other story.) Her purse was stuffed with folded up notes and she carefully placed three five pound notes and two ten pound notes on the counter. Then added a pound coin. The poor Boots lad was bewildered. He pushed most of it back towards her and took what he needed and then gave her change. She didn't seem to notice any problem.
I went with her to draw her money out in the post office this week in a vain effort to get her to draw out less, and the lady must have said to her four or five times to make sure she put the money away before she left the shop - but she didn't. I got stuck behind a buggy and when I got outside she was still trying to stuff it in her already full of cash purse while crossing the road and dropping a couple of banknotes as she went.
Then in the local shop it was the same - her bread and biscuits and eggs and milk came to just over £10 and she carefully laid out an assortment of bank notes on the counter.
Going to the local shop is her little bit of independence though, and drawing out her cash is what she's always done.
What are we going to do?
My mother in law has Alzheimer's and scored 15 on her MMSE a couple of weeks ago. (Although she was very angry about it, shouting, rising up in her seat, baring her teeth at the nurse etc, so I think if she'd been calmer she might perhaps have managed a couple more points.)
She lives alone, with help from my husband, my kids and me. She can still manage to take care of herself mostly. We do her shopping and handle all the bills, appointments, and forms and phone calls - the life admin. The house is reasonably clean but slipping, and she forgets to bath and wash her hair a lot. She has accidents both front and back and this is being investigated by the GP.
She mostly only goes to the local shops 500 yards away. She draws out £80 in cash once a week and buys bread and biscuits a couple of times a week. (We get them in the weekly shopping too, but she eats a lot of bread and biscuits.)
We have made noises to her about maybe drawing out less money since she can't be spending more than £10 or £20 a week on bread and biscuits, but she can't process that idea. She doesn't have much money hidden in the house. We've searched and only found about £150. So where is all the cash going? We bought her a new Hoover the other day. (She keeps killing hoovers - any ideas?) she didn't have the £60 to give us and sometimes she doesn't have the money to pay us for the £15-20 shopping on Wednesday night even though she drew out £80 as usual on Monday morning.
She pays a window cleaner £10 once a month...and sends money to various charities, and also sends money in birthday cards, but she has barely left the house for seven or eight months after a fall and the wee/poo accidents damaged her confidence, so where's the rest of it? My husband thinks she should have about £50 a week left over which would add up considerably over 30 or more weeks.
We were quite worried that somebody unscrupulous was preying on her somehow.
However, I have been out with her a few times lately. And seen how she handles money. (Usually we only really take her out for tea and cake and we do all the paying.)
In Boots last week she needed contact lense solutions which came to £11.58 (After we had finally worked out that the reason that we had to keep getting her new contact lenses was that she wasn't cleaning them, but that's a whole other story.) Her purse was stuffed with folded up notes and she carefully placed three five pound notes and two ten pound notes on the counter. Then added a pound coin. The poor Boots lad was bewildered. He pushed most of it back towards her and took what he needed and then gave her change. She didn't seem to notice any problem.
I went with her to draw her money out in the post office this week in a vain effort to get her to draw out less, and the lady must have said to her four or five times to make sure she put the money away before she left the shop - but she didn't. I got stuck behind a buggy and when I got outside she was still trying to stuff it in her already full of cash purse while crossing the road and dropping a couple of banknotes as she went.
Then in the local shop it was the same - her bread and biscuits and eggs and milk came to just over £10 and she carefully laid out an assortment of bank notes on the counter.
Going to the local shop is her little bit of independence though, and drawing out her cash is what she's always done.
What are we going to do?