oh dear, its christmas

[Natashalou]

Christmas lost most of its magic for me 9 years ago when my father died on the 12th Dec. My children were still young then and so I always kept things going for them...and I do still really enjoy watching them open their presents.
My partner(who doesnt live with me) is a right old moany grump about Christmas and would genuinly be happy not to celebrate at all.
When I actually thought about what it would really be like to do NO Christmas things, I suddenly realised actually I do enjoy it a fair bit!

 

[Brucie]

Every person different

As I was driving from Swansea back to London yesterday, I took the opportunity to drop in on my 93 year old great aunt who lives in Cwmbran. I gave her very short warning of my visit.

She is sprightly and her brain is bright as a pin. She has had hip replacements, and last week fell in the house and hit her head, but she just gets on with things.

She lives on her own - she has done for over 20 years, and her sons live in Canada [New Westminster, B.C.] and Australia [Canberra]respectively.

When I arrived I found she had festooned the house with Christmas decorations. She told me that Christmas is a special time and she wants the house to be different from the rest of the year.

I might have thought that a 93 year old, living on her own, family thousands of miles away, might have thought "I won't bother with Christmas". Not a chance!

On top of all that she had made me a batch of Welsh Cakes.

 

[Tender Face]

At the risk of being banned permanently for simply expressing my view I have to say this ....

Brucie I think your post is totally insensitive to what many of us are going through just now .....

And I am not 'flaming' - I am sobbing ........ desperate, so hurt, at what Christmas does or doesn't mean anymore .... and the pressures it creates for people caring 'hands on' .....

I will not be playing 'happy families' ... after the 'visiting' or the challenge of 'trying to take her out' is over with mum to try to make her day special ....... I have had the 'afternoon from hell' with my mum rescuing her address book from the kitchen sink ..... finding (incoming) cards stuffed any place you daren't even imagine ..... (never mind the asides of her house 'trashed' because she is so bewildered) .......

I am not going to be cheered into the Christmas spirit with tales that someone twenty years older than my mother is still able to recognise it is even Christmas at all ....

I wish my fellow travellers on TP at best a peaceful Christmas ....... and the sensitivity and support we all crave for the New Year,

God Bless, all

Karen, x

 

[Brucie]

Sorry Karen, I'm not going to play games this evening.

I'm sorry you are sad.

 

[gigi]

oh dear it's christmas

Eric hates christmas. Long before he was diagnosed with AD-his mum was admitted to hospital a few days before christmas.she had only been in a

nursing home for a few weeks-having "gone off her legs" and still had all her mental faculties. We had a swift diagnosis-she had late onset motor neurone disease.
Eric and I went to see her on Christmas Eve. she looked really ill and i was concerned.I asked the nurse in charge what she thought-she said she seemed ok.
My last memory of her is lying in bed-she asked for some paper and a pen and wrote-"tak me hom"(no spelling error-that's what she wrote)
She looked beautiful-clean,well cared for,but deathly in a way. We stayed as long as we could-after all it was christmas,she was comfortable and cared for-and there was a lot to do the next day. Family coming etc.
I took the phone call at about 2.45 -Eric's mum had died-on Christmas day-in the morning.
Eric forgets a lot these days-but he always remembers that.
And I do-all she wanted to do was go home and we couldn't give her that..
And I'll never forget that she died alone on Christmas Day ..
I feel so sad about that and always will.
Am feeling rather emotional tonight, folks-sorry.

 

[Skye]

Dear Gigi

I think most of us are feeling emotional just now, and none of us in the mood to enjoy Christmas. Dementia in whatever form takes its toll on the whole family, not just the sufferer.

And you have the added dimention of the loss of your mother in law on Christmas day. Of course you feel sad that she died, but don't add guilt to your worries. People die when it is their time, and often that time is when they are alone. I'm sure she knew how much you both loved her, and understood that you needed to spend time with your family. She was warm, clean and comfortable, you both have nothing to feel guilty about.

Of course, that would be one of the things Eric remembers, things that make such a deep impression are always the last to go, and unfortunately these are often the sad things.

I hope you can put this to the back of your mind, and have a peaceful Christmas.

Love and hugs,

 

[DeborahBlythe]

...Everything had to be spotless for New Year. Mustn't take the old year's dirt into the new.

Phew, lummy, sometimes I'm glad I live in grubby old England after all! What an impossible task! Anyway, in my home the spiders just run from room to room laughing and thumbing their noses when I get a duster out.

 

[Skye]

Even the china cabinets had to be emptied, and all the chins washed!

If my mum could see me now!!!!!!

 

[Grannie G]

A woman I worked with used to vac the ceiling.

 

[gigi]

Skye-thanks-I don't feel guilty-just sad!As you will know it's hard going through this time of year-with your other half-who isn't able to give you the love and hugs that you need-when you need them. Just a bit overwhelming sometimes
Deborah-my sentiments exactly! In Northumberland where I was brought up between Christmas and New Year you had to practically spring clean the house-no dirty washing left over from the old year to the new-and-find a bit of coal and some salt to welcome your first foot on new year's eve-as well as laying on food and drinks for anyone who happened to stagger through your door after midnightEeh Pet-those were the daysWhat happened to them?Now I sound like a grumpy old woman

 

[Skye]

As you will know it's hard going through this time of year-with your other half-who isn't able to give you the love and hugs that you need-when you need them. Just a bit overwhelming sometimes

Oh boy, do I know that feeling!

Sounds as if Northumberland had the same traditions as Scotland. Well, it should really belong to us anyway!

 

[gigi]

Skye-I always felt we did! (Belong to Scotland )!!
Living surrounded by Sassenachs is enough to make a grumpy old woman of anyone
Only joking
Thanks TP for bringing me out of my wallowing xx

 

[gigi]

Skye-one more thing-why did you have to wash your "chins" before the new year-not a northumberland custom as far as I remember
Love Gigi xx

 

[fearful fiona]

Neither did I know you had to clean the windows first.... I have to admit that I just enjoy putting up Christmas decorations to brighten the place up. So it's twinkly lights outside the front door, and (I copied this from my neighbours) twinkly lights in the back garden and leave the curtains open. Then of course the "plug it in and switch it on" Christmas tree inside, I'm not ashamed. All that sweeping up of pine needles goes with cleaning windows I think, no inclination whatever to do it.

 

[Skye]

Gigi

Oh dear, my pre-christmas cluelessness is really showing!

 

[gigi]

It depends on how many chins you're admitting to xx
Time for bed!
Got to do my duty beauty bit-where you bash under your chin(s) with your hands covered in moisturiser-it's so exhausting God bless Love Gigi xx

 

[Skye]

It depends on how many chins you're admitting to xx

All of them!


Night night Gigi. God bless.

 

[christine_batch]

One thing that T.P. has given sharing worry, stress,each horrible day we may have so very lovely friends here. I have had a laugh at the cobwebs, cleaning windows etc. years ago I use to do that but since my disabilty unable to do those things. Christmas decorations still in loft and Peter use to love getting them down and help decorate the tree. As he was a painter decorator for 29 years, after Christmas when decorations came down, Peter's work load was heavy.
Very best wishes. Christine

 

[alfjess]

Hi All

I can identify with all the new year cleaning and I feel guilty for not keeping with tradition, but this year I just don't have the time, Good excuse!

This year the spiders can have a guid ne'erday also without any interfence from me

Alfjess

 

[Skye]

This year the spiders can have a guid ne'erday also without any interfence from me

Tell them the party's down here, alfjess!