Visiting Mum In The Chapel Of Rest

[Firecatcher]

I’ve struggled a lot more than I imagined I would following Mum’s death and it’s been really stressful managing everything on my own.
My step father now wants to visit my Mum in the funeral directors before her funeral next week. He’s reliant on me taking him so it can’t happen before as I’ve had to return to work which is miles away.
The problem is Mum hasn’t been embalmed as my step father didn’t want the additional cost. I can imagine she’s going to look very different as it will be more than three weeks since she died. I definitely don’t want to see her in an open coffin as it would be too traumatic. My step dad thinks she’ll look just the same. How can I explain to him that it’s a bad idea and that seeing Mum as she is will be difficult and not something he’d want as a lasting memory.

 

[SherwoodSue]

I think you are being very wise. How well does Step father cope on the phone? If he does well with phone calls I would ask the funeral directors to have a gentle word. This situation will have arisen before.
of course he has the right to skip the mini embalming stage, but to do so and then expect to visit weeks later…. Oh dear

 

[Firecatcher]

I think you are being very wise. How well does Step father cope on the phone? If he does well with phone calls I would ask the funeral directors to have a gentle word. This situation will have arisen before.
of course he has the right to skip the mini embalming stage, but to do so and then expect to visit weeks later…. Oh dear

Thank you. I will try and get the funeral directors on my side. It’s unfortunate that my step dad and I didn’t get to see my Mum before she died and I feel really bad that she passed away alone as it was the last thing I wanted, I wish he hadn’t said no to embalming although I still wouldn’t have wanted to see her. I’ve done my best to arrange a simple and elegant funeral as Mum had specified a direct cremation but my step dad didn’t want this.