Stuck between loyalty and protecting our child

[Charlotte79]

Please get the divorce started now. And please stop being the organiser of everything. I hear you saying how it is difficult to draw back. That is only so if you allow it to be. Im afraid this may sound a little rude but I think you have a bit of a Martyr situation going on here. Where you think nothing will happen if you do not do it. Please step back. Others will take up the slack . His own family certainly are the first port of call. Your little girl will be fine. As he gets worse she will not be so involved with him and you would be loathe to leave her in his care anyhows. Im sorry if this sounds harsh , but he will not improve and it is not your responsibility

I will get back in touch with the lawyer this week. We are in New Zealand so we need the 2 years to finalize. But everything is on paper already as our lawyers had exchanged a few emails back then.
In regards to the martyr situation I think you are right. I will go back to my karpman drama triangle and should probably seek some counseling to help go through it. Thank you for your honesty.