My mum is in hospital after breaking her hip 2weeks ago... they can't operate as its an awkward break involving her pelvis..she cannot put any weight on the leg for 6weeks,which is going to be difficult with mums dementia.... Mum can be so sweet and lovely with the nurses,but gets annoyed with me for 'not taking her home',today she actually hit me and said 'I did nothing for her'...this was after rubbing her tummy while she was struggling to pass a motion.... I really am learning to 'let it go',but any tips on how to cope with this...
Why does mum act lovely with nurses but not with me
- Thread starter susiecol
- Start date
Well hello and welcome from me and I'm sure us all first of all.
There is a line in a song that says "you always hurt the ones you love" truth is we just feel it so much harder than others like friends and relations and professional care staff.
You get hot for rubbing her tummy while she's struggling to pass a motion, immediate sainthood status to you just for doing that, let alone getting hit for trying to help too
Well done you, however, zero tolerance to violence so stay safe, please. K
There is a line in a song that says "you always hurt the ones you love" truth is we just feel it so much harder than others like friends and relations and professional care staff.
You get hot for rubbing her tummy while she's struggling to pass a motion, immediate sainthood status to you just for doing that, let alone getting hit for trying to help too
Well done you, however, zero tolerance to violence so stay safe, please. K
Can empathise with you in this @susiecol as my LO goes to day care once a week and is lovely to all and sundry but the bile she shows to me when dropping her off and collecting her is so hurtful and yet all can be sweetness and light within a few hours; horrible disease.
Very familiar. My Granny was never that pleasant to family, even before the dementia. But her care home staff told us they loved how funny she was, and she was always cracking jokes and making them laugh. The first time they said it, we thought they’d muddled her up with another resident!
I wonder where this 'nasty' side comes from.. when we visit in hospital-before we reach her bed,she's sitting up tucking into ice cream,then as soon as she sees us,she goes into 'limp mode' and starts getting upset - is OK ish for a while and then the 'strange' side comes out ... we cared for m-in-law with vascular dementia and although it was hard I don't ever remember this type of behaviour
When my mother in law was in a care home she was always moaning at us about it was a living hell and nobody liked her. The home had a Facebook page and there she was on one of the uploaded photos smiling and taking part in the activities. After that we just ignored the complaints
A new problem today - the hospital are ready to discharge mum back to her care home,but the care home are worried about mums risk of falling again as she can't retain information 'not to put weight on' her broken hip side'..
So care home do want mum back but may do a risk assessment- but where does she go if not?
Everyday there's a new problem...
So care home do want mum back but may do a risk assessment- but where does she go if not?
Everyday there's a new problem...
Yes they have an activities photo album and mum appears on the pictures,smiling and a lot happier than she is when I see her
The risk assessment can be a two way thing...for the carers too. For example ..lifting your mum if not weight bearing at the moment may require additional carer to be present to reduce risk for both your mum and the carers.
