What do you mean?

[JoannePat]

What a morning! What a week! Oh my goodness.................I could go on but don't want to bore those that have been kind enough to read and comment.

Is it ok to ask PWD "What do you mean?". My dad is struggling with some words and can't always express himself fluently. He throws in the odd "odd ball saying" and I don't have a clue what he is talking about. I am finding myself asking more and more "what do you mean dad?". He seems to then be able to explain himself or what he means?

My husband (my absolute rock), thinks I shouldn't ask what do you mean? But that may mean I end up agreeing with (or to) something that I don't agree with! Do you know what I mean 🤣

I have now been interrupted twice trying to write this with his phone calls - I am seeing him in an hour 🙈!

Jxx

 

[SeaSwallow]

That is a difficult one @JoannePat and there is probably no right answer, as with so many things dementia related. As long as your dad is not distressed when you ask him it is probably a good thing as it seems to help him clarify his thoughts and what he is wanting to say. It would also depend on your tone of voice, if it was said in an accusatory tone that might upset your dad, but using a gentle tone and listening carefully to what he says does seem the right way to go.
Of course, as the dementia progresses this might not work but for now it seems OK.

 

[Neveradullday!]

Hi @JoannePat
In my case, my mum's speech is difficult to understand now, mostly, except for certain short stock phrases. She knows what she wants to say but it comes out wrong.

I've found that for us it's best if I don't ask her what she means. I'll normally give a nod with "Oh yeah, I know what you mean" or something similar. Sometimes I'll have a good guess at what she means and get it right (I'm with her 24/7) - but I don't ask if I can help it, that might annoy her, as she wouldn't be able to explain anyway.

Some of my most skilful replies are - "Well yes and no" - "I do and I don't" - "I completely agree with you."

 

[JoannePat]

@Neveradullday! Absolutely! This is exactly what I did with my mum - this ain't my first rodeo, unfortunately!

There was a lot of "oh I know mum, I know what you mean"

@SeaSwallow I am having to really careful of my tone, I know this is something PWD pick up on and so always make sure its a gentle, caring question.

xx