The Long Goodbye

[Fugs]

Dear @HarrietD , I never got round to writing this on the sticky thread when open, because it was not fully formed in my mind (and probably still isn't!)
All the ads that I have seen seem to focus mainly on the PWD, or the carer helping the PWD. But the thing that I seem to find most upsetting is the complete and utter silence from those (particularly family) that offer no sympathy or support. And it is not the PWD that needs support (they already have that from the carer) but rather the carer. It has been indicated to me that people don't know what to say, and so say nothing. Perhaps a good future campaign might be some education on the emotional impact of not saying anything! Just a suggestion. As I said not a fully formed concept, perhaps just an expression of frustration and disappointment.

 

[HarrietD]

Hi @Fugs, thanks so much for letting us know your feedback about the advert. I can really hear your frustration and disappointment. It doesn't have to be a fully formed answer - we really appreciate your honesty, and we'll pass this onto our Marketing team as part of the feedback that they're collecting. Thanks again for sharing.

 

[Pacucho]

Hello @HarrietD I have to say I was really pleased when I saw this Alzheimer's Society advert on the TV. For me it really hit home how incredibly tough life can be for a family carer. Whilst the messages it protrays are really emotional (and somewhat scary) I consider for the majority of family carers this is what it feels like.

It's a brave thing for the Society to go down this path. I've been waiting for years for such an advert to be made and credit to the Society.

At the same time I fully understand why it's such a tough message for people with dementia to watch and listen to, and that's why I said its scary. As someone who cared for his late mum the early years with dementia were good, even though it was tough. But as my mum's dementia worsened then life at times became unbearable. This isn't an easy message to convey, but I've seen too many other family carers experience this and overall it's just an important perspective to convey as the good messages on how to live well with dementia.

This hasn't been an easy post to write, and I feel that not many people wanted to respond given the initial negative reaction posted on the forum. But it wouldn't at all surprise me if there was a "silent majority" in favour of the advert.
Hope this helps in some way,

Paco

 

[Feeling unsupported]

I couldn't agree more @Fugs. People regularly ask me how my mum is. I have run out of answers now, she has been bedbound and non-communicative for so very long, what does one say? It's almost as though people are expecting me to say she's improving! Just one person actually put the emphasis on how am I feeling, I was so taken back and for once actually felt that someone cared about me.

 

[HarrietD]

Thanks so much for your thoughtful and considered comment @Pacucho, it really is appreciated. I'm glad the advert hit home for you, and that you felt it reflected your own experience as a family carer.

@Feeling unsupported, I'm glad you felt heard by what Fugs said. I hope you feel supported and understood by the members here on the community at least.

 

[maisiecat]

Hi @HarrietD, I did comment about the advert at the time but 2 things have struck me since.
Firstly is it the PWD who dies,yes they unravel bit by bit but truly I think its us carers that die inch by inch trying to hold onto the person we love who slips away.
Secondly my husband who has moderate mixed dementi having not responded to the advert on TV was really upset by it when it came on our favourite radio programme and said it was dreadful. He has no insight into his disease so he was thinking it was dreadful for others