taking control of debit cards

[cymbid]

Up until recently mum had a savings book from the bank (had it years) She could still go to the bank with the book and they would give her cash . She never took a lot out .
Now the bank has discontinued bank books and she must use debit cards. We have had cards for her cheque account and her savings account for years but only use them when I am with her .
She has never to my knowledge used the hole in the wall..... or paid for her shopping with a card (only cash) My brother does her big shop so its just bits she buys.

Recently her cards (and numbers) went missing . I turned the house upside down but no luck. Ive cancelled them and got new ones. Nothing amiss has been taken from the account ..... To be honest they are prob still in the house.

I am now thinking I should remove the cards and numbers from her . She cant/wont use them anyway and i can take her for cash every week. I just know this is going to be a big problem when i tell her .

 

[Kevinl]

I (as a carer) but nearly 70 still use cash most of the time, helps me keep track of my spending if nothing else. I do use the contact on my card but it's not like you're spending real money, too easy to overspend, impulse purchases, when it's cash coming out of my wallet it makes me think twice.
A bit old school I know and it's not like I'm short of money, however, I have when paying by card over bought when things are on offer and half the time food (mainly) ends up going in the bin unopened.
As I say I post on here as a carer but brought up in the real money generation, a packet of cigarettes now is more than my first weeks wages all those years ago. Hope that helps. K

 

[cymbid]

I (as a carer) but nearly 70 still use cash most of the time, helps me keep track of my spending if nothing else. I do use the contact on my card but it's not like you're spending real money, too easy to overspend, impulse purchases, when it's cash coming out of my wallet it makes me think twice.
A bit old school I know and it's not like I'm short of money, however, I have when paying by card over bought when things are on offer and half the time food (mainly) ends up going in the bin unopened.
As I say I post on here as a carer but brought up in the real money generation, a packet of cigarettes now is more than my first weeks wages all those years ago. Hope that helps. K

Yes she likes cash .... and thats fine. Its just that if she must use cards even to access cash I would rather be there with her. I can see her carrying a bit of paper with the card. I really dont want her to be carrying cards .

 

[backin]

Get a building society account with a book. You can even keep the bank account and just transfer a little in every so often.

 

[wurrienot]

I encouraged dad to go to the local village post office to withdraw money once he was unable to get to the bank. The staff knew him (and I knew them) so would help him with everything except putting in the PIN. Once he stopped remembering the number, I took over his account using the POA and left him with an old card which was no longer 'live' but at least he still had his wallet with a card in it. He never asks about money nowadays.

 

[nitram]

Savings passbooks popular as Britain turns to cash amid cost of living crisis

While some banks and building societies scrap system, others report increase in usage by customers

www.theguardian.com

 

[SAP]

My mum never used the hole in the wall, she also used her building society book to withdraw cash for shopping etc. I think she used her card once to order something over the phone and that was it,it scared her half to death😅
Fortunately she was till able to use her cash book right up until she went into care . By this time I had used the LPA to manage her accounts on her behalf and mostly on line. I was able to keep an eye on things but she still maintained her ability to access her money. I just made sure that there was not too much in the account she used so that if she lost her book, it would not be a major drama. I topped up the account so she could get funds when she wanted them.
If you can take cash to your mum each week, this sounds very sensible as she will keep her independence but not have the stress of worrying about it.

 

[Kevinl]

My card is a contact one, I just touch it on the machine and it approved the transaction, I think it's every 10 transactions or over a certain amount I do have to put my PIN in, not a problem for me, but oh so easy to spend more than you intended some times.
Cash makes me think where a contact card doesn't, impulse buying can be an issue, handing over cold, hard cash can focus the mind about what you're buying and why. K

 

[sue31]

Yes she likes cash .... and thats fine. Its just that if she must use cards even to access cash I would rather be there with her. I can see her carrying a bit of paper with the card. I really dont want her to be carrying cards .

It’s a worry isn’t it.
Once we had a POA card it was easier, we took cash out for her to use. She also had extra cash in the house for extra purchases if she needed it.
She forgot her PIN number so she had written it in big numbers so she could see them on her purse🙈
New purse bought & we told her that her Tesco (was the only place she shopped) only wanted cash these days so she no longer needed her card, she didn’t question it & seemed to prefer it.
Used to worry the life out me someone would whip her purse or she would leave it somewhere.

 

[Natalie J]

I have a 'trusted persons debit card' for my great aunt's current account so that I am authorised to use that to get cash out of the ATM for her so she always has plenty of proper money, and I can use the card to buy anything she needs that cannot be purchased with cash. She has a debit card of her own but gets in an almighty muddle with it every time she uses it. Fortunately (in some ways) she no longer leaves the house alone, so that cuts out a lot of potential problems with the card, but she does sometimes use it over the phone, although she normally panics immediately afterwards that it was a scam and phones the bank and cancels her card (that has been happening about once a month and I'm sure the bank are probably getting sick of it!). I'm just waiting for the right time / opportunity to take it off her really because she is clearly no longer able to use it successfully, and she is aware that she struggles with this and it causes her so much worry that I think we'd both be happier if I handled any transactions for her that she can't manage with cash or a cheque. However, we're not quite ready for that and I'm waiting for the right time to suggest it (as long as I've been granted LPA by then, which should be in about another two months). I won't feel any worry about doing that because although she'll probably forget I've taken it and get in a flap thinking she's lost it, it will relieve her of her worries about being scammed or making stupid mistakes (her words not mine) and she'll be far less vulnerable.

 

[cymbid]

Today i collected mum and we went to the shops . I used her card to buy her shopping. We then went into the bank and she sat beside me as I put the card into the machine to get the transaction started at the desk. "Do you want to put the number in Mum?" I had the number on a bit paper . " No, you do it" We took out some cash. I gave it to her and said "Put it in your purse mum" which she did.
We then sppent some time trying to add my mobile number to her profile but the computor had a glitch . We must have been at the desk 10 mins She just sat and stared. She also asked me twice if I had the money...
It was eventually decided they would add the mobile number when the site was fixed and let me know so we left.
"What was all that about ,"she asked. Honestly she just accompanies me to the bank. But she thinks she is handling her money.
She also asked me again if she could just take a cheque book or a savings book into the bank without a card and get money . I told her no, she needs the card s........ I bet she tries

 

[Chizz]

In my limited experience as a carer, it's v common for a PWD to either want to carry money (in a purse or wallet) or want to get money from the bank or building society - some sort of comfort carrying money that they'll be all right if they need anything. This is usually in fairly early stages.
The importance of money or having money depends on the rate of decline, and/or the level of independence in ordinary living and handling their shopping etc.
If a family member / carer organises the shopping or if DWP accompanies carer to supermarket, but carer sorts out the cashier, then gradually the handling of money or need to decreases. Once that happens, it doesn't take too long before the PWD stops enquiring about money and then forgets all about it.

The less exposure PWD has as a vulnerable adult to money/ cash machines/ buying online with credit/debit card the less likely problems, mistakes, scams etc

 

[Nannie Sandra]

Up until recently mum had a savings book from the bank (had it years) She could still go to the bank with the book and they would give her cash . She never took a lot out .
Now the bank has discontinued bank books and she must use debit cards. We have had cards for her cheque account and her savings account for years but only use them when I am with her .
She has never to my knowledge used the hole in the wall..... or paid for her shopping with a card (only cash) My brother does her big shop so its just bits she buys.

Recently her cards (and numbers) went missing . I turned the house upside down but no luck. Ive cancelled them and got new ones. Nothing amiss has been taken from the account ..... To be honest they are prob still in the house.

I am now thinking I should remove the cards and numbers from her . She cant/wont use them anyway and i can take her for cash every week. I just know this is going to be a big problem when i tell her .

Hi there
I live with my husband (he’s aged 76) in a lovely Sheltered Housing Complex.My husband was diagnosed 7 years ago with Mixed Dementia,he has quite a few physical illnesses/problems (eg one kidney ,heart disease and rheumatoid arthritis).I am (fortunately) in good health (aged almost 70)
My husband has always been money driven,we always had separate bank accounts until his Dementia worsened,and we switched to a joint account.
I discovered that he had 4 ‘secret ‘savings accounts,despite him adamantly denying for many ,many years that he had NO savings!
(Tbh he always managed to buy several classic motorcycles and modern ones ,and his life revolved around them !)
Anyway,I digress!Last year he blocked his PIN and I was actually relieved,as he was constantly drawing cash out and squirrelling it away into coat pockets ,underwear drawers etc !So I Then started to just make sure he always had say
£40 ish in his wallet(which he STILL attempts to ‘hide ‘ away !)
I have found that this regime is actually working,when my children take hubby out for a pint or an outing,I give them cash to buy anything whilst they are out (Hubby gets SO angry if I give them my debit card!!!)
It has taken me this long to gain control of our money and I’m not trying to say that it was easy ,but I feel relieved now that hubby has no bank card ,as it was causing me a lot of anxiety when he was constantly drawing £200 a time from ATM just to ‘hide ‘it
I hope you find a solution that works for you .Take Care

 

[GeorgieW]

I had noticed that my mother started to struggle with the coins almost a year ago, then in the months leading upto the intervention, there were things that I thought were a little odd surrounding money. I took all her cards away when she ended up in hospital, mainly so they didn't get stolen while she was there and I never really gave her them back.

 

[Lawson58]

My husband struggled to access online banking in the early days of his dementia so I just gradually took over all the finances but it encouraged him to think I was stealing from him and hiding things from him. That was a bit tough but after a while he seemed to realise that it was too hard for him to do. He still can pay for his bridge club subscriptions online which seems a little weird. He Carrie’s a debit card but never uses it. He asks for cash occasionally but he is always happy for me to pay for everything.

I have been using a debit car for decades, never had a credit card. I think of a debit card like using cash but credit cards are far too much temptation.