Struggling

[Essabrei]

Hi ..mum had a stroke 2013 ..i found her in bed one morning none responsive ..the stroke has not inly taking complete use of mums right side , but her speech and ablilty to do things for herself ..sadly mum has been in a nursing home since the stroke ..up until recently she has always been very loving towards me , an only child extremly close to her .,i call us salt and pepper because we go together ..of late mum has become extremly agressive towards me ..hitting nipping scratching .. pushing me away all of the time ..i visut everyday ..im wondering if we now are dealing with dementia too ., im loosing the will to live at the moment with stress and feeling hurt ..the home havent been much help apart from suggesting more medication ..id like some advice please .

 

[amIinthewrong?]

I'm sorry this is happening to you and you're mum, I'm sure she wouldn't want you to be stressed and feel hurt, and losing the will to live, maybe take a little break from visiting for a few days in order to get some emotional rest, there are going to be times where you wish the earth will just swallow you whole but you need to remind yourself that there are plenty of things keeping you going and to pull yourself though, you are a lot stronger and amazing than you give yourself credit for, get some rest to give yourself some clarity 💐💐💐💐

 

[Jane3]

I would agree a break is essential for you to take a step back, you will be better for it and be better with her too

 

[Essabrei]

I'm sorry this is happening to you and you're mum, I'm sure she wouldn't want you to be stressed and feel hurt, and losing the will to live, maybe take a little break from visiting for a few days in order to get some emotional rest, there are going to be times where you wish the earth will just swallow you whole but you need to remind yourself that there are plenty of things keeping you going and to pull yourself though, you are a lot stronger and amazing than you give yourself credit for, get some rest to give yourself some clarity 💐💐💐💐

Thanks so much for such kind words of advice c

 

[Kevinl]

Just for reference I post on here as a carer, but if I ever thought any of my children were to be writing as you have about me as a parent I'd tell them not to visit, we had children for the joy they bring, not to make our own carers.
That may sound a bit harsh but I picked my wife as a partner or rather we picked each other as partners, our children didn't pick us as their parents.
It's lovely that you're so close but carer burnout, compassion fatigue, call it how you will is a very real thing, take a break you deserve it and thank you for posting. K