Care home manager rang me today to say she received a letter from my sister's lawyer asking that no one else visits Mum when she is visiting Mum. This basically means me (the only other sibling/daughter) as Mum doesn't have any visitors. Care home are seeking legal advice. I am estranged from my sister but there has been no argument or reason given so this seems bizarre. Iv said I don't object to this arrangement as Mum could do with as many visits as possible and I live closer so can always pick another day to go there. Does anyone know the legal position on such a request?
Sister asked Care Home to prevent me visiting Mum when she is visiting.
- Thread starter stevie green
- Start date
I’m not sure the lawyer was entirely necessary, but they make a sensible intermediary without expecting the care home to put themselves in the middle of a family dispute.
If the two of you are estranged, it makes sense that neither of you would want to bump into each other under normal circumstances - still less when visiting your Mum which could trigger any of you.
I’d just shrug it off and agree which days you’ll both visit separately, via the lawyer. Your sister is paying them, so that’s up to her. It’s one way to make sure you both get what you want - staying away from each other and minimising potential upset to your Mum.
If the two of you are estranged, it makes sense that neither of you would want to bump into each other under normal circumstances - still less when visiting your Mum which could trigger any of you.
I’d just shrug it off and agree which days you’ll both visit separately, via the lawyer. Your sister is paying them, so that’s up to her. It’s one way to make sure you both get what you want - staying away from each other and minimising potential upset to your Mum.
Yes happy to shrug it off and arrange separate visits but if/when Mum becomes more incapacitated and eventually when she passes I will find it hard to be separate. Surely we will both attend and jointly prepare for the funeral? Thankful Mum doesn't know/understand this is going on.
It's so sad when siblings fall out.
My sister fell out with me 8 years ago, I've tried so hard to offer Olive branches over the years (even knowing she was the cause of our fall out). It hasn't been too hard as she lives in Florida so no contact over the years.
But now mum has Dementia I have contacted her and we are now massaging via WhatsApp.
However, it's very minimal and so far she has not mentioned coming over to see mum.
I know from other posts that there are lots of people estranged from their siblings.
Sorry to you all, but I know I have always done my best to reach out and make things right with my sister -
no regrets, we did our best.
My sister fell out with me 8 years ago, I've tried so hard to offer Olive branches over the years (even knowing she was the cause of our fall out). It hasn't been too hard as she lives in Florida so no contact over the years.
But now mum has Dementia I have contacted her and we are now massaging via WhatsApp.
However, it's very minimal and so far she has not mentioned coming over to see mum.
I know from other posts that there are lots of people estranged from their siblings.
Sorry to you all, but I know I have always done my best to reach out and make things right with my sister -
no regrets, we did our best.
Thanks PammieA...it is sad and yes iv taken advice from folk here and from family and offered olive branches and asked for mediation but no answer to requests. Also weirdly I don't know why my sister has detached like this as we have had no argument. Iv asked why she is aggrieved but again no response. Just focusing more on Mum now and trying to manage these strange things that come up. Taking advice from here really helps.
Your mum is your priority, just focus on her.
I'm so sad for you as having your sister by your side would be a great support.
I wish I could have the same.
But you can't control anyone else's behaviour (your sisters), only your response to them (her). Do the best for your mum and then you'll have no regrets.
I'm so sad for you as having your sister by your side would be a great support.
I wish I could have the same.
But you can't control anyone else's behaviour (your sisters), only your response to them (her). Do the best for your mum and then you'll have no regrets.
Thanks PammieA and yes focusing on Mum is the best course of action. We can take our support from here instead.
