Over the past few months my 91 year old wife, for whom I am her sole carer, has become increasingly resistant to anything I try to do to help and / or encourage - to the point where it has now reached the stage of refusing to eat, drink or take medication. I have advised our GP of this but to no avail other than to be told elderly people, especially with dementia, often react in this manner. It is also thought unlikely my OH would respond any better towards someone else albeit I have succeeded in getting outside help in to assist with showering and hair wash. Is that it ?? - or is it time to take more radical action. ? Any thoughts would be welcomed.
Non compliance
- Thread starter MikeFB
- Start date
This must be really hard for you - exhausting. I'm assuming your wife has been diagnosed with some type of dementia. Does she "comply" better with the carer than you? If so then it is possibly time to get help in more often. Sometimes PWD respond more willingly to someone in a uniform. If you are self funding you can get whatever help you need or can afford. In any case get in touch with your local authority adult services team - arrange for an urgent assessment - flag it up as a safeguarding issue as obviously not eating or drinking is a hazard.
Hello @MikeFB
I have a couple of suggestions which may or may not work.
Can you ask the carer who helps with showering and hair washing to offer your wife some food and drink? Sometimes people will take from others rather than from their own.
or
Could you set out a plate each at mealtimes, tell your wife her food is on the table if she wants it, then eat your meal without any further comments.
Another strategy which may be very difficult for you is to try not to show your anxiety. Your wife could be resisting your need for her to eat or perhaps doesn`t feel hunger.
You are admirable in the care you are showing your wife and it must be so sad she isn`t able to appreciate it.
I have a couple of suggestions which may or may not work.
Can you ask the carer who helps with showering and hair washing to offer your wife some food and drink? Sometimes people will take from others rather than from their own.
or
Could you set out a plate each at mealtimes, tell your wife her food is on the table if she wants it, then eat your meal without any further comments.
Another strategy which may be very difficult for you is to try not to show your anxiety. Your wife could be resisting your need for her to eat or perhaps doesn`t feel hunger.
You are admirable in the care you are showing your wife and it must be so sad she isn`t able to appreciate it.
Thankyou Grannie G . You are absolutely right in assuming my anxiety shows at times. - which I shall endeavour to control. Thanks for your other suggestions - I'll give them a go if only to avoid the inevitable parting of the waves..
