Both my parents have recently been placed in a care home. My father had a bad fall at home and was taken to hospital my mother was placed in a temporary care home. They were both being assessed by social workers to determine what support they need.
A local very good care home had two vacancies so my siblings and I (lpa holders) had them moved there. The assessment on our mother was complete and stated she needed full time support in every aspect of life. They didn't assess my father because he is self funding and he was happy (at the time) to move to a care home.
My father has Alzheimer's mother has vascular dementia.
Initially they seemed to settle well and seemed happy. However, the last two times I've visited, my mother has completely ignored me. She knows it's me because I heard her telling my dad I'd just arrived. She interacts with the carers, my dad, and the rest of my family but blanks me. The carers say they are settling well.
If it were just my mother in the care home I'd cut down my visits for the time being because it's emotionally draining and depressing and presumably she doesn't want to see me, but it's not fair to my dad to not visit him because of the way my mother is with me.
I'm trying not to take this personally. I suspect she wants someone to blame for them being unable to manage at home.
But I need to take care of myself too. I'm a full time live in carer for a disabled family member and need to stay emotionally stable.
So any suggestions about what to do?
A local very good care home had two vacancies so my siblings and I (lpa holders) had them moved there. The assessment on our mother was complete and stated she needed full time support in every aspect of life. They didn't assess my father because he is self funding and he was happy (at the time) to move to a care home.
My father has Alzheimer's mother has vascular dementia.
Initially they seemed to settle well and seemed happy. However, the last two times I've visited, my mother has completely ignored me. She knows it's me because I heard her telling my dad I'd just arrived. She interacts with the carers, my dad, and the rest of my family but blanks me. The carers say they are settling well.
If it were just my mother in the care home I'd cut down my visits for the time being because it's emotionally draining and depressing and presumably she doesn't want to see me, but it's not fair to my dad to not visit him because of the way my mother is with me.
I'm trying not to take this personally. I suspect she wants someone to blame for them being unable to manage at home.
But I need to take care of myself too. I'm a full time live in carer for a disabled family member and need to stay emotionally stable.
So any suggestions about what to do?
