Liquids and water infections

[FrustratedFrog]

Hello everyone
I am looking for some tips if anyone has any on how to get my dad to drink more water or squash without having to scream or nag at him every time.
The last time he had a really bad water infection he had bad delirium and was in hospital for nearly 2 months and then had the paramedics come out another time due to pain in the kidneys.
He is given fresh squash and water by the carers and me when I can through the day but he doesn’t bother to drink it unless he takes meds or someone nags him. And when he drinks it he complains so I’ve got to the point I force him to drink a full glass while I watch him but I work full time I don’t have time to monitor him like this all day. He’s got another water infection and I’m getting very defeated because he has a catheter too so liquids are essential. He still holds capacity so I’ve told him I can’t keep dealing with him going back and forth to the hospital because he knows he needs to drink water and brings it on himself. I’ve made the decision to look into retirement homes for him but I’m worried the carers won’t pick up on his delirium and he will get very bad if he’s there without me. He will say “I’ve already had a glass of water today” but the nurses keep telling him also he needs to have 4-8 glasses minimum. Is this just a case where I need to accept it’s out my hands when he’s in the retirement home and get on with my life even though I’ll feel guilty or can I do something? I want to be considerate of him because maybe it’s the disease but I don’t feel I can be kind about this all the time because I’m the only one who deals with his medication or notices when he has an infection.

 

[SeaSwallow]

This is such a common issue @FrustratedFrog. I am always nagging at my husband because he does not drink enough, then he gets cross and I have to remind him that he has had UTIs and they were not pleasant.
Would your dad eat fruits with a high water content, eg melon or oranges. Or perhaps ice lollies and jellies, anything with a high water content.
If your dad does go into a care home the staff there should monitor his food and fluid intake especially if you let them know that there is an issue regarding drinking enough fluids.
One final thought, does your dad have any difficulty swallowing which is stopping him drinking, it might be worth checking that out with the SALT (Speech and Language Therapy) team.

 

[FrustratedFrog]

This is such a common issue @FrustratedFrog. I am always nagging at my husband because he does not drink enough, then he gets cross and I have to remind him that he has had UTIs and they were not pleasant.
Would your dad eat fruits with a high water content, eg melon or oranges. Or perhaps ice lollies and jellies, anything with a high water content.
If your dad does go into a care home the staff there should monitor his food and fluid intake especially if you let them know that there is an issue regarding drinking enough fluids.
One final thought, does your dad have any difficulty swallowing which is stopping him drinking, it might be worth checking that out with the SALT (Speech and Language Therapy) team.

Thank you for your response it’s nice to know this is not something I’m going through alone. He would eat contents such as that with more water but again sometimes he has to be encouraged but for his next food shop I will be more mindful of those things so that he’s limited to mainly water content food for treats like ice lollies and melons. He is fine with swallowing thank fully. thank you for your advice.

 

[My Mum's Daughter]

@FrustratedFrog if by "retirement home" you mean residential care then I think that this is something you should consider. He'll then be surrounded with carers who will regularly bring around drinks and on hot days, there will be plenty of ice lollies.

I've given up years of my life caring for my Mum however, as I was many years older than you, I was in a position to do this, you are NOT. These were my dead years, I earned nothing, lost friends and had no social life. Years lost for ever and I'm still stitching my life back together. At your age, you can NOT afford to be another me.

As well as being a carer, I'm also Mum to a daughter who was around your age when my caring began and at times, she was neglected by me as my Mum's needs had to be met. As all Mum's do, I have wishes for my child; a career, partner, own home and hopefully a family of her own. Note that in these wishes, I've not and never will mention the word "carer".

Please do what every parent would wish, put Dad in residential or if need be, move out and leave him in the hands of the carers. NO person of your age should give up their important years and dreams of a family just because they have a sick parent. I'm sure your Dad would love to see your future baby and all us oldies can dig out out knitting needles.