I live with my Dad however work full time (due to traveling time I would be unable to come home for lunch) and he is being tested but they are pretty sure what it is. I live at home with him on my own, I work full time however have family around 2 hours away. I really enjoy my work and don’t want to give up. I cared for my Mum with my Dad and took so much out of me. Im not sure if I can do this on my own and what happens when the time comes, I have 20 years to work. Is it selfish of me not wanting to care and for my family to take care when it is needed? They have suggested it but just feel like I will be letting him down.
Is it s selfish to not want to give up work?
- Thread starter Sharon W
- Start date
You’re not being selfish and I think giving up work is a really bad idea. As well as the impact on your finances work also provides you with structure and social contact. Carers often find themselves extremely isolated and alone.
in work and use some of your income to buy in care. Your ability to care will be much enhanced by remaining your own person and sense of worth. It is hard being with the loved one all day and every day. Finding other interests and then having to explain why you need to go out and preserve your own welbeing is difficult. My OH is only in the mild stages and does not attempt to restrict my movements but I feel worried when I leave him. Having a job will make it easier to leave each day. The effect on your pension is very important. After diagnosis apply for Attendance Allowance. Get your GP to support this. My OH takes Donepezil and Memantine which have helped him trememdously. Your father is fortunate to have a daughter like you.
No, it's not selfish. If would be foolish to give up work at your age. It might be different if you were only a year or two off retirement.
If you haven't applied* for Attendance Allowance and the Council Tax discount then do so. Use that money to pay for someone to come in in the middle of the day. You could also consider day care. You should not be using your own money to pay for care / day care / sitting services for your Dad. If he hasn't much by way of assets then the local authority will cover some or all of the costs.
*it may be more difficult to get these before a diagnosis.
If you haven't applied* for Attendance Allowance and the Council Tax discount then do so. Use that money to pay for someone to come in in the middle of the day. You could also consider day care. You should not be using your own money to pay for care / day care / sitting services for your Dad. If he hasn't much by way of assets then the local authority will cover some or all of the costs.
*it may be more difficult to get these before a diagnosis.
